Post # 1
I have only asked 1 person to be in the bridal party as of yet and that’s my sister, who will be Maid/Matron of Honor. I know I am going to ask one of my best friends and my future sister-in-law, but I can’t figure out who the 4th one should be.
I could ask my fiance’s brothers wife, but she’s very flaky and it would probably be hard to get her places, on time, etc. I have another good friend I could ask, but she’s currently a bridesmaids for a wedding coming up and she always talks about how she hates everything the bride is picking. So I kind of feel if I ask her, she’ll talk bad about my wedding too. :-/ The last friend I am thinking about asking is always really tight on money, so Im not sure she would say yes
Any help is appreciated!!
Post # 3
@astuve812: Why do you have to have four? Is it because your Fiance is having four groomsmen? I think it’s fine to have different numbers, so don’t feel obligated to throw in a fourth random girl.
Post # 6
All of my cousins live out of state and probably won’t even be coming to the wedding unfortunately.
Post # 7
Make sure its someone you can trust and rely on! I was in the same situation as you when i was choosing for my bridal party…my Fiance had 6 guys he really wanted to be in it, and i was short a person so I filled the spot with someone who I was friends with at the time. However, over the course of our engagement I grew apart with this girl, and shes been very distant and difficult the whole time, won’t show up to things, won’t answer calls or messages. complains about paying for things. She showed up to my bridal shower late and left early (all the other girls got there before it started and stayed till it was over and helped clean up!). Now I just wish I had kept the 5 girls, and let my groom have his 6 guys…I’d rather have uneven sides that have to deal with the stress!
Post # 8
You don’t have to have a fourth.
There are sooo many posts on this board about bridesmaids who are inattentive, unenthusiastic, absent, selfish, resentful, jealous . . . and the list goes on.
If you have three women in your life who love you, are going to be supportive and helpful, and are excited to be your bridesmaids, just stick with three!
The costs will outweigh the benefits of just sticking another person on the end to make pictures even- 9 times out of 10.
Post # 9
@somethingaquamarine: I had suggested that to my fiance. He had 5 groomsmen, and I only had 4 bridesmaids picked out. So I suggested that we just have uneven numbers. Well, He’s very Anal and OCD about certain things. I do laugh at him about it. But he just couldn’t see it working. 😉 So I just found another girl to ask.
Post # 10
Thanks everyone, that makes me feel a lot better. I hadn’t really considered only having 3 bridesmaids and him having 4 groomsmen. Sounds like that might be my best best though!
Post # 11
@astuve812: I was in a similar situation where I wanted to find a 4th to match FI’s 4 groomsmen. I settled on someone who wasn’t enthusiastic, and ended up flaking out months later. And now I’m at the point where I wish I had only picked my sister to be honest! Screw symmetry lol. But in all seriousness, do NOT settle on someone. It’s not worth racking your brain over, and it’s not worth including someone who probably isn’t even that close to you.