Trying to figure out to invite coworkers or not…

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
4087 posts
Honey bee

selissal :  Popular answer here will likely be, “invite only those you hangout with outside work”. If you want them there and have the space and resources, then nothing speaks against it. They can rsvp “no” if they think it’s “weird”. 

Post # 3
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

Invite who you want! If you feel close enough with these people to have them at your wedding, then that’s fine! I am fairly close with a few of my co-workers, we talk about our personal lives all the time, give advice, celebrate things, etc., but I haven’t hung out with them outside of work (other than going out to lunch or something together), mainly because we see each other 40 hours a week already. I don’t feel like I need to define my friendships with people based on how much time I spend with them.

So if you want those people there, if they will contribute to your joy and happiness on the day, I say invite them.

Post # 4
Member
1965 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

Since I only hang out with a few co workers outside of work I decided not to invite any co workers that way there would be no hard feelings and we only invited family that way we also avoided having to decide what friends to invite

Post # 5
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’m definitely breaking etiquette on what I’m doing for those who say “all or none.” I’m an attorney and am only inviting the partners at the firm, with whom I have a good relationship, and our office manager. I felt weird about inviting associates whom I’m not close with or assistants who might feel obligated to give their superior a gift. That said, I’ve spoken to those who have been invited and they know they are the only ones, so it’s not like they’ll be talking about it excessively. 

ETA: I’ve worked here for 2 years.

Post # 6
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Invite them if you want them there. Nothing wrong with that. I’ve worked in my office for 15 years and am only inviting two co-workers (one with his wife, one by herself since she’s not seeing anyone). I don’t feel close enough to anyone else there.

Post # 7
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

invite who you want… BUT…

why haven’t you met up with these people outside of work?  the reason i ask is if it’s bc you like to keep boundaries, understand that what happens at your wedding will 100% come back to work.

other people in the same job title as those you invited might feel like you’ve picked favorites… if you have a drunk aunt or a racist uncle, that kind of home-life messiness will also come back to your workplace.

Post # 8
Member
754 posts
Busy bee

 

If you can afford to invite them, then do so.

I personally did not invite ANY of my coworkers. I just kept my entire wedding planning and the wedding itself on the down low and just told people at work that it’s VERY low key and only immediate family.

Post # 9
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Would you maintain a relationship with these people if you/they didn’t work there anymore? That’s your answer. 

Post # 10
Member
4910 posts
Honey bee

I only invited those who I have hung out with outside of work but within a group so there were no hurt feelings. There’s a few I would have invited now though because we hang out more but I didn’t have a crystsl ball. 

That said it’s pretty hard for that many in one ER to get time off at the same time right? I would think scheduling at the hospital would take care if how many. I’d make a list of everyone you’re thinking of and imagine if you can be your off work self with them then go for it! 

Post # 11
Member
12096 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

The etiquette answer is to invite those with whom you have a social relationship out of work or the office.

Post # 12
Member
33 posts
Newbee

It might go against conventional wisdom, but I say invite who you like, just ask that they keep it quiet so that others’ feelings aren’t hurt over being excluded. I don’t know anyone who thought it was “weird” to be invited to a wedding, unless it was someone that they didn’t know well or didn’t get along with.

I’m not inviting anyone from my present job just because of the inherent awkwardness that accompanies not inviting everyone (we’re only a 30 person company). Plus I’m not super close to anyone here. I will be inviting some choice individuals from my old job, though.

Post # 13
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Invite who you want.  If they think it’s awkward, they can say no.

Post # 14
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Invite who you want.  I only invited 3 fri2nds from work,  but they are all people I’ve done stuff outside of work with. My parents invited 2 of their work friends(i know them too since I work in the same overall facility as my parents,  just in different buildings).

Fi invites his 4 work teammates. He works really close with them on projects and has worked with some of them for 10 years. 

The only awkwardness has been a couple of coworkers I’m less close to who actually flat out asked for an invite. I mean,  it is so weird since I’m not really that close to them.

I do have a fourth work friend I’ve hung out with outside of work,  and she even set me up with the guy I dated before fi, but IDK,  when I was making the guest list,  I didn’t even think of her until I saw her in the office last week and we got caught up. Now I’m just hoping she doesn’t invite me to her wedding next year because then I will feel guilty lol.

Post # 15
Member
2794 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Can you invite them to the evening? This is what most people in the UK would do.

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