(Closed) Trying to find ME…. I lost her somewhere….

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I can 100% relate. 

After the wedding Darling Husband and I moved to another country. I quit my job so I could move with him. I’ve been looking for work since October, but nothing yet. 

So, I feel like I’ve lost myself. I don’t know anyone, when I go out I go out with Darling Husband and his coworkers. I feel like I wear the same 3 sweaters with the same 2 pairs of jeans every day.

I rarely do my hair, I put on make up to go out, but I just feel… blah. 

I see other women who look so great and put together and I just feel like I can’t figure it out anymore. 

So yeah… I feel you.

I do my best to get out of the house every day and try new time consuming “difficult” recipes so I can feel accomplished when Darling Husband comes home for dinner. 

Post # 4
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I can relate as well. I think I am going through a funk because my life went from childhood to adulthood in like 60 seconds flat. I became engaged and embarked in my career in the same month, then moved out with Fiance on our own a month later. It was A LOT to digest. Now I just feel like an old fart and I miss the young, fun carefree me. Problem is, I have changed and now I’m not that fun, carefree, party girl anymore. I feel like I have outgrown the old me and haven’t quite grown into the new me yet. If that makes any sense.

When I need a pick me up I exercise or I will go and have a pedicure or do something small like have my nail polish changed to a funky color. It also helps to get out with friends, go to a new restaraunt with my Fiance, or do something that we haven’t done before. It helps to spice things up and get out of the daily rut. Even buying a new lip gloss or eyeshadow to change up my look perks me up.

Hang in there girl…it happens to the best of us! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve felt similar lately. Felt in a job, appearance, relationship, exercise…everything RUT. So tired all the time and I see people doing fun things with friends or their significant others and I think, why am I always at home, doing the same things and never getting anywhere?

Sometimes when I feel like this it’s best to take a few days to myself. This weekend I have a 4 day weekend and I can’t wait to just…rejuvinate.

Post # 7
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Nah, your Fiance will not get bored with you. Just remember, looks only go so far. I can name a ton of “hot” girls that have absolutely no personality, sense of humor, etc. That is what really keeps a man….your personality.

You are AWESOME and don’t let your mind tricks tell you any different!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I hear ya!! I get the same way.

If you ever need a boost feel free to PM me or just post on here. These ladies are awesome and they always make me feel better. WB is a great support system ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I know wedding planning is SUPER draining financially, but maybe sprucing up your wardrobe?? Maybe sneak $200 and hit the mall, get some really cute stuff you may not normally wear but make you feel confident and sexy and find somewhere to wear your new outfit to. Put on a really nice makeup face, throw some curls in your hair, wear your favorite perfume and hit the town with your hubby OR with your girls! You’ll turn heads, get compliments, and feel sexy and beautiful! I’m telling you it’s worth it!

Also, try to find things that you love to do. Then do it!

Post # 12
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I totally feel this way, and I have felt this way for a long time. probably since my ex. I feel like he drained my personality right out of me. I’ve gotten a lot of it back since meeting Darling Husband, but definitely not in the style department.

Luckily I work downtown and right next to a mall, so I’ve decided to look through my pinterest style board, go window shopping one day a week and try on clothes the whole lunch hour. Then every once in a while pick up a top or pants that I LOVE and can’t stop thinking about. Hopefully that will at least help with my style situation. As far as my hair goes, well… I just need to be more on top of it. I wait so long to get it re-colored and cut and just end up feeling so ugly and BLAH.


Post # 13
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I get like this alot too. With work I have a decent job but never feel inspired and have no idea how to improve things. I’m constantly wanting to be healthier, lose a couple pounds, do something to make myself look different then get annoyed at myself cos it never happens.

The financial thing for me is always praying on my mind too…I simply have debt and a wedding to pay for and ….argh …it makes the smaller things seem like massive things to manage.

Post # 14
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@CincyChiq: Oh yeah.  I suffer from depression so I know this feeling very, very well.  I just wrote on another post about how exhausted I am due to working nights.  I am a completel zombie.  I’m not the fun, random person I used to be.  I feel sorry for Fiance because I never want to do anything anymore.  I want to be myself again.  I miss her.

Post # 15
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Raises hand. I’m so there. I know exactly what my issues are. First and foremost is getting new FT job. After being laid off two years ago its hard to regain my footing both in the position I want and that is at salary that would help getting out from these bills. It’s impacted my idenity more than I care to admit.

With having less funds, I have found myself not going out as much or interacting with my friends. So I’ve been having a pity party of one. Then I’ve defintely let my appearance go to hell. I haven’t colored my hair in ages, I just stopped caring. Not a good look. So I’m vowing to make a change.

First I’m being more proactive and making it point to make plans with my friends. I feel good when i’m around them, even if its for a cheap date make it a point to spend time with people who love you and make you laugh. I went to the  movies with my girls on  New Years day.

Second, I’m stepping it up with trying to get this weight off  and taking care of myself better. I finally got some Clariol so I’ll color my hair later this week ;). I’ve also decided to start wearing some more make up when I go to work at my PT job. I figure taking a few extra minutes to make myself prettier can only improve my mood.

Lastly, I need to be more poractive in my job/career prospects which directly impacts my financial bottom line. I haven’t been as diligent as I should have been. So complaining and pretending like its somoene else fault that my life is in this state is not only pointless its not truthful. My life is reflecting back to me the effort that I’ve been putting in, which is so half assed. I complain about having no money to do the things I want (I haven’ been shopping for myself in forever) but I’m really not making good choices. Urgghhhh, but i’m tring to do better. Its hard getting out of the rut but everday I try to do something positive or proactive to get myself to a better place. 

Post # 16
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I definitely feel you: especially when it comes to looks! I still try to dress nice/put on makeup, but when it comes down to it.. I just don’t care. Fiance isn’t around 48/52 weeks of the year, so.. 48/52 weeks of the year I couldn’t care less what I look like. So, I don’t exercise or eat right to keep myself looking good.  Exercise lifts my mood when I feel it’s making a difference but it just feels so pointless.

I used to be so motivated at school and at work, and now everything feels completely useless. I barely even feel like getting out of bed in the morning. ๐Ÿ™


Hang in there: things will get better. I keep trying to tell myself the same thing lol.

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