Trying to get pregnant for two months already 😢

posted 7 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
7167 posts
Busy Beekeeper

It’s been two months. That is nothing and doesn’t mean you’re having a “hard time” getting pregnant! Took us six months and that was with going balls to the wall every time on the science of how to get pregnant (taking my temperature each morning, using ovulation predictor kits, etc). And even six months is a drop in the ocean. On each given cycle, assuming both partners are fertile and healthy and intercourse is timed perfectly, there’s still only a 30% chance of getting pregnant.

Most doctors will not even start talking about fertility treatments until you’ve been trying to conceive for at least 12 months. That said, if you want to improve your chances, timing intercourse according to your wife’s fertile window is everything. I encourage your wife (and you if you’re curious) to read the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” – it walks you through how to determine when ovulation actually occurs and when the fertile window is (the app you’re using is just guestimating based on your wife’s average cycle length – it could be totally wrong). If you don’t feel like reading up on this and learning what ovulation is and when it actually happens, then just try to have sex every other day after your wife’s period ends until the next one begins.

Good luck!

Post # 3
Member
803 posts
Busy bee

2 months is nothing, it took me 4 years of unprotected sex until I got pregnant (though I wasn’t trying, just thought I was infertile) and even then when we lost that one it took another year for our daughter to be conceived and stay. 

 

6 months is AVERAGE amount of time to conceive. Don’t start to worry until at least 12 months!

Post # 4
Member
3395 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

mrparanoid :  you have to be actively try ing for 2yrs before doctors will look into things. 

Yes trying to get pregnant can be really hard for a lot of people. Hence things like ivf,  adoption, surrogate ECT. 

Stress plays a big part in being unable to get pregnant from what I’ve read and hear. Try to plan a day together like a date. When your wife is in her most fertile week of her cycle.  Go see a film, go for dinner and then go home to fun bedroom time. 

You both also need to enjoy it, not get hung up on if your making a baby this time ( stressing out it or getting depressed) 

When you see the doctor ask if he can look into any medication you both on to see if that has any effect, ask if he can do sperm and egg count. 

Good luck on your baby journey 

Post # 5
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

mrparanoid :  I know you are really excited to get started and it really does feel like 2 months is a long time BUT really, you need to get some perspective. I don’t mean to be mean, but you’re being truly ridiculous. It is just plain too early for panic. I say this in the kindest way possible: slow your roll dude. You’re getting anxious for nothing and that will make trying to conceive more arduous and also less likely. 

There are so many reasons for pregnancy to take longer. Some of which you mentioned (like stress and working nights) and lots you have no idea about (like was your wife taking homone birth control previously for perhaps a long time or irregular cycles) SO MANY REASONS but none of them are even pause for thought after a mere 2 cycles. 

 

Start worrying after 12 months and feel free to come back here for support.

Otherwise, just do some research about how to improve your chances (like supplements, relaxation, charting and science) and enjoy this babymaking time. Do not overthink and do not stress.

Best of luck! 

Post # 6
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

As mentioned above even a young healthy, fertile couple only has like a 25% chance of actually getting pregnant each month. Look up the great sperm race and see how much is actually  involved in the crazy world of getting pregnant. Considering only one month of proper trying has happened so far I wouldn’t even give it a second thought. I know we spend our whole lives thinking that if we have unprotected sex once we will be instantly pregnant but it’s not as crazy as that and most couples take a good few months at least and uo to 12m is normal. 

Post # 7
Member
13326 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You’re getting worried over nothing.  It took my sister 5 YEARS.  Stressing over getting pregnant is probably not helping anyway.  Relax and enjoy the practice.  It’ll happen when it happens.

Post # 8
Member
1915 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Shesaidyes :  THIS <<<

It took me 12 months to fall with my son, 6 months is average and doctors don’t even get excited about 12. I was only just about to begin fertility drugs. 

You need to get some more information as well. How is she actually confirming ovulation? A period tracker won’t tell you when she is fertile, you could be off by a week, easily. 

Working at night and being ‘a little stressed’ shouldn’t hinder you. Try and calm down and actually first figure out if you are hitting the fertile window. 

Some people fully easily and quickly, absolutely. If you thought that was the norm though then I’m afraid I have bad news for you 😬 

Post # 9
Member
708 posts
Busy bee

As pp have said, 2 months is nothing. It took over a year for me to get pregnant with my first child, and we had medical help too. 

I strongly suggest you relax and spend some time reading up on reproduction, and then read up on pregnancy and childbirth. You need to actually know what’s going on with your bodies instead of just winging it (and then panicking because you don’t know what’s going on).

Post # 10
Hostess
8615 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle

Um, two months is nothing. It’s only advised you seek medical help if you haven’t been able to conceive for a full year.

Is your wife temping? I’m guessing not if you say you’re “ignorant about ovulation.” If she’s not temping and only relying on apps to predict when her ferfile window is, it’s unlikely that the apps would have enough information to accurately predict it after only 2 months. Unless you’re trying every other day to completion during her entire cycle, then you’re likely missing the egg. 

Pick up the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” and make sure you both read it. It seems like you’re misinformed on how “easy” it is to make a baby. It’s really not, unless your timing is perfect and everything else is right – and even then, the chance is not 100%. 

Also, if you’re currently trying, why isn’t she taking prenatal vitamins

Post # 11
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

My doctor said if everything is good with timing intercourse, there is only 10-20% rate of conception each cycle (which is why fertility testing is delayed until 1 year). 

We’re coming to the end of cycle 9.

your wife needs to take a prenatal vitamin with folic acid in it for 3 months before getting pregnant to reduce the risk of neural tube defects.

Post # 12
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee

Google is your friend. 

Post # 13
Member
8761 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Your wife needs to be on a prenatal like, yesterday. Or more like months ago.

Two months trying is nothing to be concerned about, as others have said.

Those apps aren’t accurate unless she has a perfect cycle where she ovulates on day 14.

Post # 14
Member
7167 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Given the level of cluelessness going on here, combined with the level of hysteria, it might be worth scheduling a preconception appointment with your wife’s OBGYN. A doctor can walk you through the basics of how babies are made and what you can do to maximize your chances of conceiving each cycle. He/she can also advise on prenatal vitamins for your wife, which she really needs to be taking right now since you guys are already actively trying.

Post # 15
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Like all PPs have said, it can take a healthy couple on average up to 12 months to conceive and you only have about a 25-30% chance a month to get pregnant, if you do everything right. I would check out the resources suggested above for a better understanding of TTC. You are both young. You have time. 

Also, I suggest that your wife start taking prenatal vitamins. They are suggested a minimum 3 months before TTC for healthy egg development. I’m not saying that if she doesn’t take them three months before TTC her eggs will be unhealthy, its just the recommendation. Woman who don’t know they are pregant start them after they find out. 

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