- 2 weeks ago
first of I am sorry if my English is not perferct. I am foreigner living in the US.
I have a female best friend, she is the most cheerfull person I ever met since I moved to the US 2018. I moved to the us due to US gov job transfer and C ( let say her name is C) was my helper to adjust to new living in the US. We worked in the same division but different team so we became friends, even best friend short after. We clicked easily and she is the easiest person to hang out with and talk to.
She is married for over 2 years now to someone she dated for over 5 years. He is an active duty military and will retired in few months lets call him (J). I met J a handsful of time and I remember the first time I had dinner at their home, he was in a really good shape, he looks seriously like Vin Diesel, nice shape and all muscle.
Last time I met them was in March, then we had to work from home. I can see that he gained weight but I don’t pay attention.
So, in early June, we started working at the office again and me and C started to catch up lot, but I noticed that something different, she kept making comment, like i.e. ” make sure to date someone that love gym” or when I went off to a date she said one day ” does he live a healthy life ? ” when I said oh yes he loves working out etc. etc. C replied ” that will change after married ”
So these few weeks I have been talking to her lot and she mentioned how she is being less attractive to J, because hes been gaining over 50lbs since last year. He keep making excuse about going to the gym, said his back is hurting him but he can go out playing golf, fishing and drinking beer with friends but back too hurt to go to the gym. She is complaining how she is struggling with his outlook now.I gave her an advice to talk to him but don’t body ashaming him, like make it a light hint and she did it she said he keep telling her that his back hurts so much and she doesnt understand because she does not know the feel.
C told me that she does not attractive to have romance with J anymore because his belly starts to hang out. C said she told him once ” Ihope you won’t gain much weight once you retired from military because mostly men do ” J assured her, no worry. According to C, J could eat like 5 times a day and at the end of the day he would drink 2-3 cans of beers before bed. I even told C to have a healthy meal plan, C said then since Pandemic they have 2 meal plans, C eating her food which mostly salad and low carb food and J mostly Burger, steak, pizza, bread.
They used to eat healthy food together.
Friday, at work C did not look too happy, she said that they had argument and it is about their romance time, C admit she had not reach her high point for over 3 months because she just can’t do it. She does what a good wife suppose to do. She said she is unhappy and do not know how to make him finally lose weight without end up with a big fight.
I am here trying to help my best friend, I have no experience with approaching this issue. I want to know how would you say it, I didn’t ask for anyone to tell me that C needs to leave this man. it is not the point. I want try to give the best advice for her.
Thank you all