(Closed) Trying to love me at this size…struggling

posted 7 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 3
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Make the effort to surround yourself with supportive people.  Or at least befriend a few.  Maybe people who are in the same or similar boat as you.  Avoid those who are not supportive.  Only deal with them when necessary.  I know people can say mean things.  You don’t have to submit yourself to negativity.  You know you’re on the right track.  Associate with those who think the same as you and don’t worry abut those who don’t.

Post # 4
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m in a similar situation. I’m terrified of wearing a dress in front of my very critical and weight-conscious family. I’m a street size 18-20.

I even have nightmares about my brother making a sniggering remark as I walk down the aisle.

I’m 42 years old…I should be “over” this…but I’m not.


We need to surround ourselves with people who make us feel beautiful and loved!

Post # 5
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

First, your beautiful no matter what size you are. but if you dont feel comfortable or “beautiful” then do what makes you happy.

 and…..i dont live far from you we should arrange a bridal boot camp!!

Post # 6
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Its great that you are getting back into a routine to make you feel better and look great! You have a great mindset and I do agree that you should distance yourself from negative people and surround yourself with positive energy! I totally know how you feel, I switched birth control and I gained almost 30lbs in 2 months! I also quit smoking and added on a few more so I am trying to get back into shape also! Good luck and YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Post # 7
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You still have plenty of time! It only takes 8 weeks to build muscle and you have them. You can tone up even if you’re not able to lose much weight. Once you’re all dolled up for the big day I’m sure you will NOT be looking in the mirror and wishing you were thinner, you’ll just see a beautiful bride smiling back!

Post # 8
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

First of all, congrats on your sobriety! 

Second, I agree with the pp who said to surround yourself with positive people. The better you feel about yourself, the easier it is to commit to being healthy. 

Remember, that no matter what size you are on your day, you will look amazing and your love for your husband will shine!!! 

Post # 9
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think all women (or at least the majority), regardless of size, struggle with accepting themselves the way they are.  I can’t say that I’ve even figured this one out…but your fiance obviously loves you for you and just the way you are, so try seeing yourself through his eyes. πŸ™‚

Post # 11
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

A heavier, sober you will ALWAYS look better!

Post # 12
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Congrats on being sober!!! And like everyone else said, you are beautiful no matter what!!! Best of luck to you these next couple of months and I agree with everyone, surround yourself with supportive people!!! I believe that is the key to weight loss!! Best Wishes! 

Post # 13
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am a size 20/22 sometimes 24 (like my w-dress) so I know how you feel. I have gained 50 lbs since my FH and i got together. But you know what? He loves me no matter what and that helps when he tells me this. I think about how I need to be comfortable and confident for him- if he has faith and love for me, then I should, too. I shouldn’t be so down on myself when he tries so hard to lift me up. If he loves my chub, I should love it too! I am what I am!!!
That’s not to say that I shouldn’t want to be a healthier me. So I am doing Weight Watcher’s and drink an occasional Slimfast so I don’t have to think about what I am eating at work. And I feel better. Just small changes make me feel good.

I am getting married October 8, 2011, so if you want, I can be a long distance walking buddy! Even 10 pounds would make me feel like I accomplished something by my wedding day!

Post # 14
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

dealing with negative family members is tough both of my grandfathers on either side of my family are notorious for picking on the heavier people in my family myself included. It really makes it difficult. I was once told I looked like I was hooked up to an air pump that will stick with me the rest of my life, but after the tears dry I try to channel that into some motivation to do better. Best of luck we’re all rooting for you! 

Post # 16
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LMD84: Agreed.


You now have your life back because of sobriety, and that my dear is the most important and significant part of your OP.  You’ve already made one of the biggest accomplishments, everything else will happen in time.  You are completely and totally on the right track, stay positive!

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