(Closed) trying to persuade myself…..

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
365 posts
Helper bee

Tell us more about your relationship: How long have you been together? How often have you asked him about it?

Post # 5
340 posts
Helper bee

You have been together for a long time. I think you owe it to yourself to have a conversation about the future. You need a timeline so at least you can at least have expectations. Tell him you know you are young, but you love him and have been together long enough to know that you want to spend your life with him. What does he see in the future? When does he want to get married/have kids etc? This conversation should serve two purposes. One to plant the seed. I think this is the most important part. It puts a fire under his butt. And two so you feel better and you can decide if you want to wait for him or not. Good luck, my dear!

Post # 7
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Nothing wrong with wanting to know where things are heading. Even if he can’t give you an “exact” – he may be able to make himself and his intentions more clear. I would think after 5 years you’d deserve to know a little more candidly how he feels. Ultimately it’s up to you and how you feel, but I would think that alone will make you feel better having some peace of mind.

Go slow, and talk with love. Good luck!


ON edit: Just read your later post. Yes, you are allowed to ask for reasons. You can’t make him have the answers. But yes, after five years, you are allowed to press (not pressure, but lightly press) him for some clarity. If he says “not ready yet, someday,” you can say, you appreciate that, but you need a little more. Why is he not. What does he see needing to happen first. Is he thinking 2 years or 5 years. Even a little idea will help because you can build/compromise from there. Again, good luck.

Post # 9
1278 posts
Bumble bee

After that long, you should really bring it up.  Perhaps give him a heads up and casually say “We should talk about our future sometime” and leave it at that for a few days.

After 5 years together he should have a clear picture of his future with you.

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