(Closed) TTC & Panicking. Insight needed, please.

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Oh honey, this is TOTALLY normal.  Darling Husband and I decided to start at the 1 year mark.  Well as that date approached, I started FREAKING. OUT.  Like having meltdowns of epic proportion where I cried and yelled and panicked-and Im the most level headed, un-emotional, non-crier you will ever encounter lol.  Its a HUGE (and thus terrifying) life decision that doesnt come easily. 

For me, I was afrais of what would change…Id been set in my ways for 27 years, how would I adjust to change?  Would it change mine and DH’s relationship for the worse?  What if he resented me or I resented him? What if I wanted to do x or y or z and couldnt because of baby?  Then I realized that I cannot live my life based on the “what ifs” and that thousands of people have babies every year and make it just fine…people in worse positions than us.  And I eventually calmed down.

Trust me, you’ll come to peace with it, its just as the time nears, you start to REALLY analyze evrything.  Try to let it go and stay calm and know that it will be ok =o)

And btw-no couple is perfect.  Every single couple has ups and downs.  Yes it will be rough at first with lack of sleep, etc, but the overwhelmind response is that it brings the couple closer than ever…and that makes it worth it.  If every couple needed to be perfect before they had a child, there would be no children =o)

Post # 4
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Totally normal.

I already have a son and as Darling Husband and I talk about starting to TTC all kinds of scenerio’s come to thought… I find myself much more critical of how he is with our son now and everything else.

Be sure to continue talking things through with him & just remind yourself that these things are out of being hyper sensitive and not out of real problems. That he is going to be a great dad and have an amazing heart to help & care for you through pregnancy, & a heart to love and raise ya’lls child(ren).

 

Post # 5
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think its totally normal. Just be really open and honest with your other half. Tell him your fears so he can comfort you and tell you his, because he will certainly be feeling the same way. 

You need to lean on eachother and give eachother support. If this is something you both really want all will be well.

 

GL!

Post # 6
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

also wanted to note – the 2 pps said something VERY important-you need to talk through your fears with Darling Husband.  Dont keep it in.  If you are anxious, chances are he is as well, but might not be showing it.  You guys need to help eachother through this

Post # 8
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@pinky44: exactly.  When I finally vocalized all of these things to Darling Husband, he totally helped to calm me.  Just keep telling yourself that, although things WILL change, its not necessarily for the worse.  Try to think of it this way…how I look at it is, We will be working a child into our lives.  Not working our lives around our child.  Some poeple find that harsh, but it doesnt mean we’re any less accepting, just that we will attempt to maintain US while bringing a child into that

Post # 9
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This is so, so, so sooooo, normal!  I think having a baby with someone is way more of a commitment to someone than marriage, this is just my opinion.  So when you decide to take that step, it’s really frightening.  And you want what is bes for your future children so you can’t help but evaluate/re-evaluate everything!  I went through this when I first found out I was pregnant.  But then I calmed down and realized he will be an amazing father.  But yes, you both definitely need to sit down and talk, iron out some details and you’ll be able to see more clearly.

Post # 10
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I totally agree with KellV as well…. You two just discuss your expectations through having a new kiddo in the house (just like you do before marriage in husband/wife expections) And be sure to always make you and your husband a priority… Keeping you two strong is the BEST parenting you will ever give your child(ren)

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