TTC after infertility

posted 8 months ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
7078 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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TiggersMitts :  I definitely did not have infertility… and I cannot compare to that situation.  I just want to preface my response to that.

But our first TTC journey was awful.  It only took us 9 months (9 cycles), but Darling Husband has anxiety and had been on anxiety meds. His first med, he could hardly (TMI alert) get it up.  After our first cycle failing, he thought he might want to wean off.  He couldn’t get a hold of his doctor about weaning off of it, so he decided to go cold turkey… that was a month and a half of him physically and emotionally unstable (another 2 cycles gone). After our 3rd cycle trying, he went to see a new doctor to be put on a new medication. Cycles 4, 5, 6, and 7 went by.  For cycle 8, he started getting crazy side effects from his medication… He would pace the house throughout the night and was super irritable during the day. During cycle 9, he just “decided” to go off his meds again without telling me because he was feeling so defeated from TTC.  2 days before I got my BFP, he was being suicidal.

Add my frustrations with the process, it felt like a really dark time in our lives.

Since last October, when our daughter was 6 months old, he had another withdrawal when he couldn’t get a hold of/see his new doctor.  I finally got him in to another doctor on an emergency appointment after a month of a horrible withdrawal.  He’s been on a new medication since, but it’s too low of a dose, and he’s too unstable and too stubborn to go back to the doctor. (he finally has an appointment in 2 weeks after some major depression and anxiety over the past 2 months).

We were NTNP since April for a bit, but recently put that on hold.  Obviously nothing happened.  But I desperately wanted to fall pregnant by the one or two times we BD’d a month (for 4 cycles), which typically was during my FW.  

I have a serious anxiety about TTC again.  How are these medications going to affect DH?  Are the decreasing his sperm viability?  Do we have less of a chance?  Is he going to want to go off of them again?  Will he be responsible with his meds?  It sucks.  I know he’s looking forward to another little one too, but I don’t want the same rollercoaster as last time…

I feel like I understand you in some way.  Every cycle we NTNP and AF showed was a serious defeat and just brought me back to how I felt the first time.

I don’t know how to cope… I really don’t.  I think the best advice I have is maybe try NTNP for a bit?  Going into TTC next month, I do feel like, “Oh, well, of course we didn’t get pregnant… we didn’t try that hard.” Maybe go see your doctor right away since you were diagnosed with infertility, they may have some steps you can take so you can bypass the waiting.

Post # 3
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I don’t know if this is going to be good advice or not but I was wondering, what if you guys agreed to NTNP (but you know your trying really), and just went with the flow. No charting, no excessively checking your cm, just come off birth control, no pulling out, have sex like always and see what happens?

I feel like the common cry here is that when couples officially TTC it instantly creates anxiety for us woman, we are charting, peeing on sticks all the god damn month for ovulation and then pregnancy and they completely hitting rock bottom when AF comes around. 

I say all this because we are NTNP, but I’m finding myself slipping into the mentality of TTC and already finding myself literally going through every part of me with a fine tooth comb. I’m already sick of wishing days by to testing time, it’s exhausting, but at the same time I can’t stop! I don’t want to end up crazy. I really would love a little suprise baby! 

Obv all the above doesn’t relate to couples who genuine have fertility issues. 

Post # 5
Member
7078 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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TiggersMitts :  I can totally relate to wanting a surprise baby before seriously TTC and worrying about wasting time.  That’s where I’ve been since April, but alas, our more relaxed attempts haven’t helped.

I really hope that once you see your doctor, you get pregnant quickly.  Thinking of you during this difficult time <3

Post # 6
Member
8747 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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TiggersMitts :  we needed IVF for our daughter and for me it’s kind of a relief the second time around (I just started my FET cycle!). We have been NTNP basically since our daughter was born knowing that if we had a natural pregnancy it would be welcome, but also knowing that if we didn’t we can just call up and have a frozen maybe-baby thawed and popped in. Obviously it may not work but we have 3 embryos and only want one more child so our odds are decent. Already knowing and accepting that we need help has made round two far less stressful for us. 

Post # 7
Member
4121 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

 Hey babes!

So, you know my story so I’m not going to repeat it all, but I am going to offer advice bc as you know, I’m bossy. 

I think in your case there’s probably a good chance you’ll basically have to track so that you can have an idea whether meds etc are working, so ntnp would be difficult. 

That said, I think it might be a good idea to consider seeing a counselor who specializes in infertility. It’s not a contest, and just because you may not have had it “as bad” as others doesn’t make your feelings or fears less valid. Sometimes things really deeply impact us, and I think your ttc journey was one of those things. 

I also think you should do the best you can to remember that you DID get pregnant. With pretty minimal intervention, so really the odds are in your favor those measures would work again. It hasn’t been that long, it’s not as though you have gotten 10 years older, and you had a healthy pregnancy. Odds are on your side, love.

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