(Closed) TTC After Miscarriage

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 16
Member
7586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Running Elley: I totally get this feeling. I have friends who are pregnant and I feel the same way sometimes. It’s not that I’m jealous, but it makes me sad that we aren’t going through it together like I thought we would be. Or that my child won’t be the same age or whatever. I just try to stay positive and hope that I am next! 

Post # 17
Member
11381 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Hello everyone. 

My husband & I got pregnant after trying for 4 months. (Exciting to know I got pregnant so fast.) But I had a miscarriage naturally at 9 weeks. We was heartbroken to say the least. πŸ™ I have diabetes. Its a struggle everyday. I let it go after the miscarriage & ignored it. In doing so my health has been going down hill. I recently started taking care of myself & it feels WONDEFUL! My sugar has to be in control for atleast 5-6 months before we can start TTC again. We are thinking about waiting a little longer than that. But soon enough that I hope I can join this thread & learn from other peoples stories. 

Thanks so much for posting this! 

Questions I have– What suplpements, ect are you ladies that are TTC or going to start TTC taking? πŸ™‚

Post # 18
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Darling Husband and I recently miscarried.  I didnt know I was pregnant until the miscarriage.  It was about 6 or 7 weeks in.

 

We are not TTC, as we were not really TTC in the first place lol

 

Just wanted to thank everyone for posting.  My mom never miscarried and my sister has a 1yo so neither of them understand, so its just nice to see i’m not the only one.

Thank you!

Post # 19
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@running – so sorry you are having a bad day.  I think it’s natural to feel waves of sadness about your loss.  I was SO sad for a few weeks, then was OK for about a month.  Then a friend announced her pregnancy and was due the same day I would have been due (end of December).  I was crushed.  Totally happy for her, but I got sad about the miscarriage all over again.  All of my friends have newborns at the moment (except the one who is due in December) and it was tough to visit everyone right after they gave birth.  I just tried to focus on my happiness for them and then allowed myself to be silently sad for me. 

It will get better with each passing week and month…I promise!  I agree with pp not to push yourself too hard or beat yourself up if you need to bow out tonight.  You need to do what’s right for you.

Post # 20
Member
11381 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Running Elley: Oh sweetie, you are not a bad friend! Those feelings are completely natural!!!! Literally everyone I knew was pregnant when I MC. πŸ™ It was REALLY hard seeing everyone post about it on facebook or talk about it, ect. That is all I would EVER see when I got online. Baby/pregnancy post, one right after the other. I am truly happy for them but was truly sad for myself. Let the feelings run their corse. (((HUGS!)))  Good luck tonight at Bible study. Let us know how everything went.

Post # 21
Member
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Thank you SO MUCH for the support!
 
I had a feeling that she was pregnant, I’ve kind of “known” for a few weeks…I don’t know why but I just had a feeling about it. Last week I was waiting through week 6 of my cycle trying to figure out what was going on and we had scheduled a frozen yogurt “date” with them. I was absolutely positive that they were going to tell us then. And I couldn’t handle it. So I told Darling Husband how I was feeling and we cancelled. Now I feel like we absolutely have to go tonight or they’ll know that we’re avoiding it. They know that we MC’d…from what she told me last night it sounds like she got her BFP just around the time of our miscarriage. I think part of it too is that I know that she feels pity for me so I feel like I have to really prove that I’m still excited about her pregnancy and that I’m okay. Ugh maybe I’m overthinking it all lol.
@chastenet:And it really is wonderful news!! She and her husband tried for a year, then they went to the dr to get some tests done, he put her on clomid and boom she got pregnant that month it sounds like! I know it’s been really hard on them so I’m so happy that they’re able to have something that they want so much.

@mwitter80:That’s EXACTLY how I feel! I’ve been trying to think of some positives too. Like what I’m focusing on right now is that when I get pregnant (hopefully this month!) I’ll have someone who I can talk to and is going through the same things. I’ll be able to see her baby and learn from her experiences. 

@winniewolf:I go through waves too. Like where I’m feeling okay and positive about TTC and then something will just hit me and wham! I’m sad again.

@Sweet.Sugar.Rose:Thanks for the reassurance!

Anways….sorry to threadjack!! Has anyone done any counseling? Sometimes I think that may be a really good idea for me. I’m good at putting on a happy face with most people/in most situations but Darling Husband can see how I’m feeling and he thinks it may be a good idea too. Does anyone have any experience with that?

Post # 22
Member
7586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Running Elley: I have done counseling. I started to become depressed and it was all focused around the miscarriage. I specificly sought out a grief counselor. It was one of the best choices I ever made. They were able to help me gain closure. I think one of the hardest parts is that it’s not talked about. There is some type of shame around it or something that keeps people quiet. If you would have delivered a still born it would have received a funeral, it would have been discussed, but the fact that it was an early loss in our society makes it somehow less important, therefore it’s difficult to gain closure. I highly recommend it as it helped me so much. 

Post # 23
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Hi everyone πŸ™‚ can i just say it sucks that we all have to be here, but im so glad we have support here with each other πŸ™‚ we got pregnant the 2nd month of trying.  Everything was going great until we went for our first routine ultrasound at 9 weeks. i  had a missed miscarriage, where the baby died 2 weeks beforehand (at around 7 weeks) but my body didnt pick up on it (my body still thought i was pregnant, my uterus was measuring for a pregancy of 9 weeks) and i still had my pregancy symptoms and nothing to warn me something was wrong. it was absolutely tramatizing to find out that way, we were both SO excited for the ultrasound expecting to see our baby adn then to find out he died, was horrible. Had a D&E 2 days later. i got my period back 4 weeks after that and we are just starting to ttc and im scared. really scared.

anyone else worried about their cycle post miscarriage? im using a fertility monitor (i did with my first pregancy also) and i just hope things will be normal like before.

Also did anyone have any chromosome/genetic testing done on their baby? did they ever find out what happened (if they could tell)? Were still waiting on the results.

 

Post # 24
Member
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@stargal34:Hi! I agree that it’s so horrible to be here but everyone has been so great πŸ™‚ I’m just finishing up my first AF since the MC and my last “cycle” was so wonky that I’m really worried about this one! Last cycle I just kept thinking that if I could only get through that first one my next one would just magically be normal but I’m started to get really scared that that won’t be the case. We have OPKs and I’ve been temping so we’re going to give it our best shot!

Since my MC started naturally we didn’t have the chance to have testing done but I really wish that we could have. I’m really concerned that we lost the baby because of my hormonal imbalance. If we did then it’s likely that we may have to go through it again. I wish we could have had the testing done so we’d know.

Post # 25
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Running Elley: You are def. not a bad friend….it is very hard to see other people you know pg when you should be also.  After my mc I had to go to work everyday and watch 2 of my employees have growing pg’s and felt horrible inside wondering why me and not them.  My baby would have been due in just a few weeks and seeing or hearing about others with the same dates is really hard to swallow.  So please don’t feel bad.

@stargal34: Hi! I am extremely terrified when/if I do become pg again, I don’t think there is anyone that has had a mc and gotten pg again not be scared of the possibility of going through that loss again.  Please know you are not alone.  I did have genetic testing done after my mc and the Dr. did say that it was a chromosomal problem that wouldn’t allow the baby to grow after a certain point.  Mind you I also had genetic testing done when when I was pg with my daughter and everything was fine with me, but even if your genes are perfectly fine there is the possibility that when the sperm and egg meet that the chromosomes aren’t equal.  He said this is the #1 reason for early mc.  I hope this helps a little and I am thankful in a way that my body was able to recognize that there was something wrong.   

Post # 26
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m also glad this thread is here for us! I tried typing this out yesterday, but WB went haywire on me! We got pregnant on cycle 8 after coming off BC. It was a long road and we were thrilled. Of course, we were devastated when we found out that I had a missed miscarriage. I had my D&C in June, and this might be Too Much Information, but I bled for a full month and a half. It was awful. My next AF after that was in August, and we just started our first month of TTC. I’m due for AF in a week or two, so we’ll see, but I’m not very optimistic this time around. I’m just trying to focus on getting back to normal.

For those who were talking about feeling down on themselves and trying to be happy for others who are pregnant, I know exactly what you mean. I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone. In my 15 person department, 4 women are pregnant. That doesn’t count the 3 additional women on my floor who are pregnant, or the 2 separate vendors I work with who are pregnant. That makes 9 pregnant women who I work with on a daily basis. I see them all. the. time. And I get sadder and sadder as more people announce to me that they’re pregnant. I want to be happy for them, I really do…but I feel like I’m being punished for miscarrying. It’s so frustrating! So I’m so glad that I have this community to turn to when I’m having a bad day.

Post # 27
Member
7586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

So I have a ton of pg symptoms. I’m terrified. I can’t bring myself to test. At first I thought it was because BFN’s send me for an emotional tailspin, but this time I really think I might be pg and the thought of it kind of scares me. I am putting off testing in fear of actually being pregnant and the chance of going through another loss. I feel like it would be easier just to ignore the pg for awhile. I probably sound insane. 

@2PeasinaPod: I can’t believe that you bled for that long! That must have been awful. I’m glad to hear your back TTC though.

 

 

Post # 28
Member
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@mwitter80:You don’t sound insane at all!! The week before last when I was late and testing I was terrified. I wanted to get a BFP but I was so scared of it too! Just know that no matter what we’re all rooting for you πŸ™‚

Update: We went to bible study last night and it went a lot better than I thought! It was nice to hear about their excitement and see ultrasound pictures. I think what also helped a lot is that one of our other friends pulled me aside and asked how I was (she knows about the MC too) and was really supportive about it. Sometimes it’s just nice to know that someone else cares.

Post # 29
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@mwitter – i can only imagine how you’re feeling!  but, it seems very logical to me.  i haven’t been through nearly as much as you and the thought of another miscarriage is completely terrifying. 

@running – glad to hear it went better than you expected!

@mrsestep – welcome : )  i just take target brand prenatals at this point.

@stargal – welcome back to the hive!  how you are feeling a little better!  my cycles were off after the m/c (and frankly were off before too b/c i hadn’t been off birth control that long).  i had a 40 day cycle, then 34, then 31 and this month am on track (i think) for a 28 day cycle.  it may take some time, but your body should eventually regulate.

@2peas – welcome to the thread and glad to see you back : )

i have a serious case of the debbie downers today.  11DPO and just feeling like it didn’t happen again…and feel like i can’t imagine it ever happening again.  so many women conceive within the first few cycles after their m/c.  why not me?  can’t i catch a break?  i was going to wait til AF due (Saturday) to test, but honestly i’m already feeling bummed out so might as well test tomorrow.

Post # 30
Member
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Sweet.Sugar.Rose:Oh I forgot to answer your supplements question! I’m taking Target brand gummy prenatals. My doctor also suggested that I add B6, 200 mg twice a day, and mucinex tablets twice a day from the start of AF to 3 DPO. This’ll be my first month trying that and I didn’t start taking them until today (CD7) so we’ll see how it works!

 @winniewolf:I’m sorry that you’re feeling so down today! I think all of us have days when we feel that way. I know that doesn’t make it better but just know that you aren’t alone.

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