(Closed) TTC after miscarriage

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m very sorry for your loss.

I miscarried in june at 7w4d it has been a roller coaster. It was the first grand kid for some very antsy grandparents. Ten days after we lost our baby, my husvabds brother in law and his wife announced they were pregnant. She’s 15 weeks now. I’m really happy for her because they had been trying for a lot longer than us but still. 

the whole experience has really sucked and was really hard on my husband and myself. were currently NTNp for a few months. But I’m ready for it to be over. I never thought I would have to go through this. I mean I’m young and healthy for goodness sake! 

Post # 4
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I also miscarried in June at 8w0d but had seen an empty sac at 7w2d and although I hoped it would turn out for the best, I knew it wouldn’t. It’s such a tough thing to go through. We are just going with the flow for now, if it happens, it happens. I just started thyroid medication for hypothyroidism and it’s messed up my last cycle so I’m not sure when I’m ovulating anymore. I’m still hesitant to start charting temps because I don’t want to deal with the stress. My wedding is now just under 7 months away so I’m trying to stay focused on that, it definitely helps to have that to look forward to. But since I’m 33 and already have one MC under my belt, I’m nervous that we’re going to continue to struggle. It sucks. It really does. I’m so sorry for your loss. 

Post # 5
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am so sorry for your loss.  Having gone through a miscarriage myself in March I know there is nothing anyone can say to take away the pain.  This is a beautiful article written from a guy’s perspective that really resonated with me.  http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/25/how-a-man-handles-a-miscarriage/ 


Also, a quote that I try to remember during the rough times: “Don’t confuse your path with your destination.  Just because it’s stormy now doesn’t mean you aren’t headed for sunshine.” – Unknown


As far as no longer having to wait to try again, I have found the same conclusions.  My doctor still advised us to wait one complete cycle before trying to conceive again, but I believe that is more so they have an accurate date of your last menstrual period to go by for dating purposes should you get pregnant again right away.  We decided to follow this advice since I wanted to make sure if we did become pregnant right after we would know exactly how far along the baby should be measuring since your cycle can get a bit screwy after a miscarriage.   This way we wouldn’t be stuck in a situation where the baby measured small and we had to wait to see if there was progress or if it was bad news again.  Also, another reason for waiting one cycle I came across involves using the date of your last menstrual period so frequently in future pregnancies.  Doctors and nurses will ask this all the time, and I didn’t want the date of my last menstrual period to be the date of my miscarriage as those questions would always bring up bad memories.  That being said, I have heard that women are sometimes more fertile after a miscarriage.  While I don’t know if there is much scientific evidence to support this, I can say I had the most fertile CM the 2nd cycle after my miscarriage (after TTA for the first as per doc’s orders) that I had seen in 7 cycles TTC since coming off the pill.  We got pregnant that cycle and it had taken us 5 cycles before to get a BFP.  I am now 23 weeks with that pregnancy.  I really hope that you are able to get pregnant with your rainbow baby very soon.  My heart goes out to you.   



Post # 6
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

No story to tell or advice to give except for heartfelt sympothy for your loss.  I can’t even imagine.  Praying you get a sticky baby and great news soon.

Post # 7
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I was also taught there is little evidence that says you need to wait, other than if it’s possible that the miscarriage was incomplete then yes you should wait. I have seen cases where women miscarried and felt it was complete but it wasn’t truly completed until their next period came with cramping. I think they ask women to take a break and wait out of conservative practice and for emotional and mental well being.

Post # 8
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@sunshinebee:  so sorry to read of your loss. Having gone through 3 MCs I know how you must be feeling. We’ll get there in the end! Xx

Post # 9
4061 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I had a MC the first week of August at 6 weeks. This is our first cycle trying again. I’m both excited and petrified at the same time. I’m 6DPO today and for the first time am actually really really nervous. I think that’s natural – I don’t want to go through that again, but I’m excited to have a baby! So conflicted

Post # 10
43 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

I had a missed miscarriage and D and C in July.  This is my 3rd cycle post miscarriage and the first one TTC.  I’m now 9dpo and nervous to test!  My dr said to wait one period before trying- we ended up waiting 3 because my first period post D and C was kind of weird.  

I’m sorry for your loss- I know how it feels.  One thing that helped me was talking to people about it.  Lots of women have had miscarriages, you just never know about them until you start talking about your own.  It helped me to hear other people’s stories and about their healthy babies afterward.  

One weird thing for me after the miscarriage was that my PMS symptoms have totally changed- so don’t be surprised if that happens for you.



Post # 11
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@sunshinebee:  I just had a miscarriage also. The doctor advised us to wait until I had a normal period. She also said you are “more fertile” after a MC but I didn’t ask details although I wish I would have. 

That being said Darling Husband and I aren’t waiting to try again. It took 6 months to get pregnant This last time. I had un u/s and it looks like a completed miscarriage. I’m getting hCG redone to confirm that it wasn’t ectopic, which Dr. doubts but “just in case.” Using my MC date as my LMP doesn’t bother me, either, if we get lucky and get pregnant this time. 

I wish you the best! 

Post # 12
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - Rock Hill Country Club, Manorville NY

I had two miscarriages since July. A Chemical between July 31 and August 2. As is the nature of a CP, my period came right around when it should have, and I had a normal cycle, during which I got pregnant again. I miscarried that pregnancy too though, this time a Blighted Ovum at 7w3d. I had to take misoprostol a few days ago, and still have heavy bleeding. Not sure how much longer it’s going to last, and I don’t know if I’ll even ovulate this month. My doctor advised to wait a cycle or two, although she admitted there was no scientific reason why. I’m thinkg we’re going to NTNP for October, and TTC again in November. Good luck to you – I know how you feel and it sucks.

Post # 13
187 posts
Blushing bee

I miscarried at 11w1d after finding out that the baby had died sometime around 6w3d when I thought I was 10w1d along.  

In addition to the horrible experience of miscarrying, I hemorrhaged and lost enough blood that I had to be hospitalized and have blood transfusions.  Thankfully, I was in the doctor’s office when I started bleeding heavily.  Because of both the miscarriage and the massive bleeding, I am very hesitant to get pregnant again particularly because even after extensive testing there is no explanation for why I bled so much.

I don’t really have an answer for when we’ll TTC again but wish you the best of luck and am sad for your loss as well.

Post # 14
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@sunshinebee:  I saw on Sept POAS thread that this had happened. I am so sorry for your loss.


RegardiNg tryiNg again, I have no experience as II’m still TTC. However, my friend got pregnant and lost it. She tried again right away and got pregnant. Her beautiful Dirty Delete is the result. I say check with your doc (as I’m sure each case is different) and then go from there.




Post # 15
27 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

@mandyjo12:  Thank you so much for sharing this, I to just went through a d&c and I am curious when I will get my next period and when I should start trying again, here is my story. I want to start with my story, me and my husband just got married 9/14/2013. We wanted to start TTC right away, we got that lovely pregnancy test that read POSITIVE!! we we’re over the moon my obgyn wanted to wait to see us until we were at least 8-10 weeks. Felt like the lonest couple of weeks to wait!!!!! me and hubby we’re so excited to see out lil baby on the sono screen and out biggest nightmare came true. I knew right away that something wasn’t right by the look on the techs face, I kept asking is everything ok is everything ok I don’t see anything. She asked me if I had any bleeding or cramping I told her no not at all. I looked up in the air and cried and cried my husband had to ask the rest of the questions for us. She said I had what is called a blighted ovum, never in my life have I every hear of such a thing or knew such a thing existed. She went onto explain that something went wrong with the pregnancy and showed us what a 8 week sac with yolk should look like. I was so lost, empty and confused. The tech left the room and told us she was sorry. She said we will be meeting with another dr in a little while. I was so upset I couldn’t get dressed, my husband had to get my clothes on, how could this happen I feel pregnant no bleeding or cramping!!! What did I do wrong????? Shortly after my nurse practitioner came in she is wonderful I was supposed to be seeing her today for my exam, she does my yearly’s as well. As soon as I saw her face I cried and cried and all she could say was this happens all the time, I asked what did I do?? She said nothing it just didn’t happen. She told me I was going to meet with another dr and I said why cant I just meet with you. She told me she is not trained in these things nor does d&c. D&C!?? NOOO that’s when everything got foggy from there. Another nurse came in and brought us to another room. We met with another dr who was very dry and right to the point, older man who said he has been doing this for a very long time. He said maybe just maybe if I wait a week we might see something but its very unlikely. He said it could be too early to see anything, but again he said its very unlikely after he looked at my sono pictures and said I had a 7 week looking sac. He gave us our options, ideally he said the best would be I would pass on my own, he could give me medicine to start the miscarriage up or the dreaded d&c. I left the office still upset I knew in my heart this was the end. I thought how are we going to tell our families this?? They were all so supportive and I thank God I didn’t have to go through this alone. I got home and goggled everything under the sun, all false blighted ovum’s and success stories. I cried for 2 days straight., Thanksgiving was a couple days later and me and my husband and our 7 year old daughter traveled to VA to visit his family. The week and a half was grueling for me all I wanted to do was pass it on my own if that’s the way it was going to be. The thought of a D&C scared me to know end. The week and a half was here, again I knew in my heart I would see the same sono picture with nothing. I was right. The nurse apologized and said we would be meeting again with the dry older dr. This time he seemed like a new person, very sweet, he told us he was sorry and had the bad news. He told us it was nothing we did wrong and our chances of TTC were not affected and is sure that we would go on to have a healthy pregnancy. He told me he highly recommended to “empty my uterus” I thought no no not a D&C, he told us the procedure was so easy and 15 minutes at the most. He went on to tell us I could wait to miscarry on my own but there’s no telling when that would be, he also was concerned with infection and bleeding being that the size of my sac has grow, my body was still feeding the pregnancy hormone. He told us if we do miscarry on our own the chances of me not passing everything were high and I would still end up needing the D&C. I cried and cried I wanted this naturally, but I knew my husband needed his wife back and our daughter needed her mommy back 100%. I just wanted it over to move on and start healing emotionally and physically and of course start to try again. We were able to meet with another nurse to schedule my D&C for that Friday at one, I thought how am I going to go through with this. I spent the next two days crying and being scared to know end, the morning came for the day of my surgery and I was a nervous wreck I didn’t want to be put to sleep I didn’t want to be hooked up to an IV. I prayed and prayed to have nice nurses and dr because that makes a world of difference. We got to the hospital at 10:30, we we’re given this little buzzer, kind of like when your at a restaurant and your table is ready 🙂 We didn’t have to fill out any paper work my obgyn office was able to get all my information over for me, well the buzzer went off this is it!!!! I immediately began to get teary eyed and choked up. (The fear of the unknown) they told me to walk down to another desk, my hubby was not allowed to come they said once I’m all prepped he can come visit. The second desk had a nurse waiting to let me though the big double doors, as soon as I entered my room and saw my SWEEEEET nurse, hospital gown and (ugly socks) I busted out crying. But before the nurse saw me cry she said how are you and then the tears started, she said “ok this is normal and understandable, you are going to be just fine I promise”. Immediately I felt better. She could tell I was very nervous and told me she would have a treat for me after I met with the anesthesiologist. She said if I like wine ill love her forever, she was going to give me some soothing meds and its like a bottle of wine without the calories. I was reluctant at first, I don’t like the outer body experience and not being in control, I think that’s why the whole putting me to sleep freaked me out so much! She asked me some more health history, some crazy question I might add a lot we just laughed through. I met with the anesthesiologist and he was a fun guy! Told me everything that he was going to do and how I would feel when I woke up and got home. Then the knees started to shake and she told me she would get my husband so I could have this zero calorie wine, she felt it was important my husband see me before any soothing meds were given. Like I said I was reluctant at first so she said she didn’t want me to feel pressured but she is treating me like a little sister, again sweet nurse, world of difference. She gave me half of the syringe through my iv and what a help!! Knees instantly stopped shaking and we we’re able to talk and laugh. Then my sweet nurse had to head out for lunch and then the knees started to knock again, she gave me the rest of the wine 🙂 me and my husband shared a few good laughs. The dr who was going to preform the surgery came in sat down with me and told me everything step by step, was so sweet him and my husband were able to laugh and joke about some football. The sweet nurse came back into check on me and told me the OR room is running behind, I’m ready to get this over with. Another nurse comes into my room who was also very kind introduces himself to us and asks my husband to head out because the dr was ready for me. The kind nurses gives me some more wine which was great and fun little ride to the OR room,once I got to the OR room all I can remember is a whole lot of lights and sweet voices, telling me I was going to do just fine. They told me they were going to give me an oxygen mask for some air, after that I was going going gone, waking up in recovery!!!!!!! I actually woke up as they were wheeling me back into my room and felt great! Just a little crampy like a normal period ( I typically have rough ones) I got to see my husband right away, and they asked me what I wanted to drink because I had to pee before they would send me home. I chugged apple juice and water to get the heck out of there. I was gone in no time, I told my husband family and friends you were all right it was nothing! The best sleep I ever had!
However,The moral of this story is that I was scared just like YOU, I will be ok and so will YOU! Not at all throughout this post have you heard me say omg I was in so much pain, that was the scariest thing I ever went through, not at all. I am again so glad I decided to have this pregnancy removed and not wait around for it to pass on its own. I don’t want to say this is what every woman should do, however this is what was right for me. Today is the day after my surgery and I feel great. It does not hurt to walk, I had a ball at my daughters first basketball game of the season, I was shopping at Target as well 🙂 I’m a little sore in my right arm where they gave me a shot to dilate my cervix. I only know about this shot because I asked why is my arm a little sore, and they explained. They said sometimes the dr will give it to you in your hip or arm. All in all yesterday was anything but traumatic, I hope that if this is something that you will be experiencing soon this story will help. Truly the worst part was the silly IV or maybe having to be woken up for that lovely slumber. However, I am not above admitting that I still feel a pinch of sadness whenever I remember that “oh yeah I will not be having a baby in July nor picking out any baby names or registering for my baby shower”- right now there is no baby. However I am definitely on the mend. I also feel people should not have to be so hush hush about a miscarriage or d&c it does truly just make it more scary when its not, my only wish is that I hope what I’ve shared here will help people know what to expect and to not feel so lonely or afraid. Despite all of this I was surprised how quickly I got over things on an emotional and physical level. I hope you don’t think I’m heartless but I have cried and cried about the lack of baby since the day I have found out until yesterday. This information is personal to me and my husband, but I feel I had to share my story because I know in the bottom of my heart I’m not the only woman going though this. This is the kind of post I wish I found on all night Google searches. If you are going through this please please know that you will be OKAY. Please know that I am praying and thinking of you! If you want to reach out please please do I would love to be that person to bring you any comfort. God bless you ALL>

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