TTC after miscarriage / miscarriage support, Take 3

posted 4 months ago in TTC
Post # 106
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee

sophie89 :  🙂 I hope so. I feel a bit numb about it tbh. I thought i would be more excited….I am but it’s not like the first time.

Post # 107
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

chocolateplease :  that’s totally understandable! Don’t worry, you’ll have 8 more months to be excited 😉 just take it one milestone at a time for now!

Post # 108
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

chocolateplease :  Congrats! I’m with you on not doing any early testing. Whenever it happens I want to wait long enough so there’s no question about whether things are okay or not. And don’t worry about not feeling excited now. It sucks that the excitement’s been taken away from you, but I do think it’s normal to feel that way.

As for me, I’ve had kind of a rough week. Started my period on Monday, and it’s now officially been an entire year since we started trying for #2. I’m mentally preparing myself for my best friend to tell me she’s pregnant, as they started trying this month and seem to get pregnant very easily (my other best friend is due the week I would have been due). I am and will be thrilled for them, but it still makes me sad for myself. I’m in a local moms Facebook group, and it seems like every post has turned into a complaint about hard it is having baby #2 or being pregnant again. Ugh. And finally, my normally great husband is being completely unsupportive. He thinks we haven’t been trying hard enough because we haven’t been having sex every single day, which he put on me not wanting to. I forget that not everyone knows how conception works, but come the fuck on. He says that we’re just guessing when I’m ovulating. No, we’re not guessing. I am doing several annoying things to see when I’m ovulating. Plus, my ovulation pains have gotten really bad, so I know when it’s happening! Yet another example of something in our lives that I invisibly manage with no appreciation. Sorry, end rant. I know we’ll get there, but I’m over this. 

Post # 109
Member
1277 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

10pdo and a very short pm hold after I came home from a trip! guys, please keep everything crossed this is sticky 

Post # 110
Member
1277 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

EmmaMae :  sorry it’s  been so crappy lately. we are trying for #2  also. it’s like people don’t think its that  ad or hard when you already have one. hugs. 

Post # 111
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

FoolsintheRain :  Congrats! Hope you have a healthy and uneventful 9 months ❤️

Post # 113
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m having bad anxiety today. I’m coming up on 1 year since we started this rollercoaster of TTC, as well as my second due date. I can’t believe I’m still not even pregnant 🙁 I’m also pretty stressed out since my best friend is starting TTC now. I don’t know how I’ll handle if she gets pregnant easily and has her baby before me. This sounds so selfish, but she’s someone who has everything come easy, and sometimes it’s hard to watch. I also am worried about how I will maintain a relationship with her if this happens. Right now we usually see each other a couple times a week, but I’m not sure how I will handle this. Any advice on how to deal with this/find a way to be happy for her if it happens?

Post # 115
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

sleepymelis :  thank you so much for this, I really really appreciate it.💕 I agree with you on the bitter part- I’ve never been a bitter person, so seeing that change makes me even more bitter lol. Last night my husband and I babysat my friend’s 7 month old and he was sooo into it. He just loves children so much and would be the best dad so that is hard on me too. You’re right though – we will all get there one day. 

Post # 116
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

sophie89 :  So sorry you’re having a hard time right now. I keep all you lovlies on this board in my thoughts <3 Be kind to yourself…it’s totally normal and okay to have all the bad emotions.

AFM,  I’m looking for advice from those who have experienced ectopic pregnancy. What were your HCG levels? Is it possible to barely have any HCG at 5-6 weeks with ectopic? What was your pain like? My saga is below if anyone cares to read. 

I had what seemed to be an anovulatory cycle last month with what could have been a very slow and slight temp rise. I actually thought I was pregnant despite the lack of clear temp shift because I was nauseated and had increased sense of smell and was very weepy, all of which I usually only feel in pregnancy. So I took a test but BFN. Then I had VERY heavy bleeding, even a bit heavier than usual for me, which I though was because my cycle may have been anovulatory. Then I started to get +OPKs on CD3 for several days, and continued “pregnancy” symptoms until CD16 when I started having severe back and lower abdominal pain. Went to the doctor and they said UTI (didn’t check for pregnancy because I had a period 16 days before so they thought it was impossible). I POAS when I got home and it was a suuuuuuper squinter on FRER, maybe even just imagined but some of the bees saw it too.  It’s now CD18 and I haven’t POAS since CD16 because I’m trying not to go crazy. Now I’m having shooting pains from my ovary down my leg even though I’ve been taking the antibiotics and they said my UTI pain should fade quickly. I would have to be at least 5 weeks because we haven’t BD since 3.5 weeks ago, so I feel like logically I’m not pregnant. However, I can’t shake the anxiety about ectopic with all the pain and my super squinter. 

 

Post # 117
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Your Age/Partner’s Age:  34/35

How long you have been together/married: together for 10 years, married for almost 7

How long you have been TTC: since December

Known Issues/MC/TTC History: no longer ovulate on my own, bfp June 25th, found out Friday that the baby’s heart stopped beating at 14 weeks.

Your TTC plans for the next few months: not sure, have to call this morning to schedule D&C, They offered one Friday night, but I couldn’t handle the thought yet. They sent me home for the weekend to watch for signs of infection and let the idea sink in.

Just for fun: What is your favorite way to pass the summer (or the winter, for our southern hemisphere bees)? I like to vacation, but that was limited this year because we thought we were having a baby. Mainly just shuttling the kids to various activities.

 

Any words of advice anyone has would be helpful. I’ve had a miscarriage before, but it was much earlier in my pregnancy and it was almost 16 years ago. I feel like I’m drowning right now. We were past the 12 week mark and I thought we were in for smooth sailing. I waiver between sobbing and being absolutely furious that this is happening to us.

Post # 119
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

angel_baby_12_9 :  I totally understand what you are going through.  I lost my daughter at 22 weeks back in June & it was an emotional roller coaster. It is totally normal to go through all the emotions you are feeling: sadness, anger, jealousy, etc. I had it all.  I believe I cried nearly everyday for what seemed to be forever, but I will say that it gets better in time.   Saturday is 3 months for me & I think this last month is the first time I feel nearly back to 100% myself and can say that I have been able to be happy again, it takes time, but you will get there.  If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me!!

Post # 120
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Your Age/Partner’s Age: 31/32

How long you have been together/married: 9-ish/2.5

How long you have been TTC: NTNP starting July, pregnant immediately but blighted ovum, we’ll start again as soon as possible after finishing dealing with this MC

Known Issues/MC/TTC History: No known issues. Conceived in July, BFP early August, found out 2 weeks ago the pregnancy wasn’t viable. Have my D&C Wednesday.

Your TTC plans for the next few months: This experience really highlighted that I want a baby NOW and no more waiting. Unfortunately Husband leaves for 3-4 weeks in 2 weeks time so we’ll start tryign as soon as he gets back. I won’t track/chart as I’m  horribly disorganized about that type of thing. If after 6 months we’re not pregnant then I may try it but I feel like it would make me more, rather than less, stressed about getting pregnant.

Just for fun: What is your favorite way to pass the summer (or the winter, for our southern hemisphere bees)? Hiking, camping, and cottaging!

I’m bummed to be here, but realize that I’m still VERY early in my TTC journey. This MC has been more an emotional rollercoaster than I would have expected, especially since it happened so early on. When I got pregnant though I fell hard and fast and was SO excited for becoming a mom. I swing between sad, mad, and numb now. It’s better than it was 2 weeks ago as my emotions are stabilising (and I’m not randomly breaking out crying at inconvenient times of the day). I really just want this MC behind me and to start being able to try getting pregnant again!!

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors