TTC after miscarriage/ miscarriage support

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 842
Member
574 posts
Busy bee

Just wanted to say a big thank you to all who were so supportive when I hit my low point earlier this week. Have made lots of plans to meet friends and keep busy this month. Thank you all for listening to be grump. 

Im so sorry for all the recent losses, such a sad time. You’re all in my thoughts

Post # 843
Member
7751 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

italianbride0508 :  I love this mindset. I’m gonna try the same. Honestly I was worried sick for the entire 3 weeks that I knew I was pregnant. I felt like something was off from very early on, and even when my initial HCG betas came back looking good, the feeling of doom never let up. Those were not a happy 3 weeks. they were miserable. In a way it was almost a relief when I miscarried, because I’d just had such a bad feeilng about it all along and at least now I was out of limbo.

Next time I’m determined not to go into that dark place and just force myself to enjoy it. Because as you said, we can’t control it anyway – all worrying does is make us feel bad. And I doubt it’s particuarly good for the baby (not saying worrying can cause a MC by any means, but I want my baby’s first days and months on this earth to be in a calming, soothing environment, not one frought with angst!).

Post # 844
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee

tiffanybruiser :  totally agree. I just knew, in my gut, something didn’t feel right. I actually remember waking up in the middle of the night the day before the u/s confirmed no heartbeat and it just flashed into my head that I was going to MC. Even though the doctors kept telling me I was fine, I just knew they weren’t gonna find a heartbeat when I went in for the u/s.  

IDK. the way I see it, I can either let the MC define my next pregnancy (or adoption process or pregnancies or whatever the case will be for me), or I can choose to define my experience myself. 

Easier said than done, FOR SURE and I know it will not be easy, but I just don’t want to live in fear. I’d rather enjoy whatever I can. 

Post # 845
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee

tiffanybruiser :  also totally agree stress didnt cause either of our MC’s. Regardless of that, stress just isn’t good for anyone (emotionally or physically) so I don’t want to let myself get to that point. I am hoping that telling myself I will be happy now will help get me in the right mindset for whenever a BFP does happen for me. Who knows if it will work, but I am trying!! 

Post # 846
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Been lurking..decided I could use some support on this crazy journey.

ROLL CALL

Your Age/Partner’s Age: 23/23

How long you have been together/married?: 4.5 years/ 6months

How long you have been TTC: Since September 

Known Issues/MC/TTC History: No known issues but I believe my issue is hormones/short cycles. I have been pregnant twice. Got pregnant 1st cycle in September..CP in October @4w1d. Got pregnant the following cycle before my period in November and miscarried starting on Christmas day @6w2d..just finished my post miscarriage period and now I’m here trying to build myself up to do it all again hopefully with a happier outcome. 

Your TTC plans for the next few months: I think we are going to start trying again in April, as I just started a new job. I just joined the gym yesterday and plan on getting my diet on track to eating healthier. I started taking vitamins b6&b12 with folic acid. I switched OB/GYN because the last one was awful. I felt so comfortable with my new OB and he plans to have me take baby aspirin and progesterone suppositories as soon as I get a positive test again. Praying these methods help maintain a future pregnancy as I have no problem getting pregnant they just didn’t stick 🙁

Just for fun: Do you have any fun summer plans?  Hoping to be pregnant with a sticky bean and take a trip to visit my bff and her family in Vancouver with Darling Husband

Post # 847
Member
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

italianbride0508 : Such fantastic advice!! The last time I was pregnant we never really celebrated bc I was so scared something would go wrong.  It did but not bc I was worried.  I know these things happen and we can’t control it. So next time I will celebrate every day of my pregnancy from the start! Even when I do my next ivf cycle I will enjoy the 2ww bc for us we can only get pregnant via ivf so we don’t get many 2ww. It sucks to wait but it is also a time of hope!! I know all this is easier said then done but so glad I read this as I think this will help a lot! We have a tentative transfer date in March so it’s coming right up!!

Post # 848
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

MrsBuesleBee :  I am so sorry for your loss bee, thinking of you.  You might have no been pregnant long but that doesn’t discount your loss.  I found it really helped to talk about it when it happened to me.   I also found that so many people I was close with opened up about their own losses…. I hope you can take some time to grieve and find some peace bee

Post # 849
Member
7751 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

KB87 :  I’m so sorry you’re having a down day bee. 40 days of BDing in a row has to be some kind of insane record though – my hat is off to you for that! I’m glad that you have a plan going forward – knowing that you’ll be able to get on Femara and hopefully regulate things has to be somewhat of a relief after this awful never-ending cycle you’re still going through. Big hugs.

Post # 850
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Well, today is my birthday and I guess my present was passing the sac. Ever since it passed my bleeding has lightened up, which is a relief because I’ve been going through a pad every 2-3 hours since last Thursday. I can’t believe this is really almost over. 

Post # 851
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I have been absent for a little while, just taking some time to not think about the miscarriage and focusing on planning our honeymoon and we finally booked for early March to Maui! I am about 20 days away from my FW and will probably bring pregnancy tests on our honeymoon just in case we get lucky. I have been in good spirits, working out and eating right and planning my wardrobe for the honeymoon has been keeping me busy which is always a good thing. 

furmama44 :  MrsBuesleBee :  I’m so sorry for your losses. But just like the ladies said earlier, don’t let your doctor diminish your loss, you were pregnant the second you saw those 2 lines, morn exactly as you and your soul needs. It really is a rollercoaster, you will have good days and bad, let yourself go through it all, I think it is good for healing. I am a natural worrier (when Darling Husband doesn’t call when he is going to be late I go through all kinds of crazy things) and I worried too much during my pregnancy, checking the toilet tissue everytime I felt something. What I didn’t realize was that not all miscarriages are the same (mine was a missed miscarriage caused by Trisomy 15 and I never had any bleeding, cramping, symptoms, etc.) and all my worrying wouldn’t change the outcome at all. I read this quote right before my miscarriage and the words have really stuck with me and become my mantra for 2018 (I have shared before but I think it’s worth re-posting it): Worrying about the worst case scenario has never once stopped the worst thing from happening. 

MrsBubsy : Happy Birthday and I am so sorry that this is your memory on your special day, stay strong! 

dublingirl :  that’s so great!  Keeping busy is a really good idea, and feel free to keep sharing, this support is just what we all need.

Post # 852
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

sunshineglam :  I am a natural worrier too. For both my miscarriages things just seemed off and I knew what was coming. The blighted ovum the 2nd time was the worst because I had so many symptoms still but no baby. Thanks for sharing that quote

 

MrsBubsy :  So sorry for your loss. I too ironically had to pass the sac on my birthday which is just awful on a day you should be celebrating. Happy Birthday bee, I hope for a speedy recovery for you so you can try again. The relief of it almost being over is really bittersweet 

Post # 853
Member
1118 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

MrsBuesleBee :  at the risk of sounding like a broken record, do not let your doctors diminish this pregnancy. You were pregnant, and you have every right to grieve your loss. I’m glad you’re taking some time off – I took 3 days off work after my D&C (even though I physically only needed one), and it’s so important to take that time to be good to yourself. ❤️

KB87 :  so sorry to hear you’ve been depressed. A long cycle after everything you’ve been through is like a slap in the face. I can imagine that would bring you down. I really hope this cycle ends soon for you, one way or the other. ❤️

Post # 854
Member
1118 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

italianbride0508 :  I love your outlook!! So inspiring. I’ll try to remember your words when I’m feeling down and anxious. Darling Husband and I have talked about adoption as well if this doesn’t work out, and I hope we can be just as joyful no matter which path life takes us down.

MrsBubsy :  helluva birthday present. But I’m glad you’re almost finished and can start to move on!

Post # 855
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

tiffanybruiser :   candy08 :  I just wanted to say I love what you guys wrote about letting yourself get excited. I got a very early positive test today and I have decided Im not worrying!! I’m already more excited than I ever was for the last pregnancy. I spent the whole time worrying and in the end it didn’t matter. The rug might be pulled out from under me but either way I’ll be sad when that happens. I won’t let shitty luck ruin this for me! 

Post # 856
Member
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

sophie89 :  Congratulations!!! That is so exciting and a wonderful attitude. One I hope I can have when I get a bfp! Im sending you prayers for a sticky  little one!!! Keep us posted!!!

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