TTC after miscarriage/ miscarriage support

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 947
Member
7595 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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sleepymelis :  Wow, I would not be able to plan a baby shower for someone who was due anywhere near the time I was – definitely not strong enough to do that. Does your best friend know about your MC? If so I’m kind of shocked you were asked to do this for her…that just seems crazy insensitive. Is there a way you could bow out of it? Or maybe offer to contribute financially or something but not have to be involved in planning the nitty gritty?

The universe had another “fuck you” for me yesterday. Just as I saw the negative HPT last night, I got a text from a close friend that she’d just given birth earlier in the day, a couple weeks early (she and the baby are both fine). This is a friend who has made several insensitive comments to me since my MC (she would complain to me about petty pregnancy related things like not fitting into her pants, literal days after I miscarried, which she knew about, and would send constant baby bump photos to me on snapchat, etc.). I’m happy for her but also like really? You had to give birth right on the day I confirm my second loss in 4 cycles? Cool, thanks for that, universe! And of course, she was also a first timer. 

I am feeling a little more calm this morning. I’ll call the doctor when they open and explain what happened. Gonna start taking baby aspirin today too. Feels good to be proactive and try something new even though it does sometimes feel like we’re just taking total stabs in the dark here hoping for a miracle.

Post # 948
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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sleepymelis :  Oh bee 😣 I’m so sorry!! That’s such a crappy place to be in. And the baby shower thing…yeah. It’s so hard to think about others who are due when you would have been. Big hugs to you. I hope you have a better day today. 

Post # 949
Member
1118 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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busybee1016 :  thanks bee! I’m trying to be positive but I just have this nagging feeling something isn’t right re: my thyroid. I have basically every symptom of hypo except weight gain (cold extremities, constant fatigue, low BBT), my sister was diagnosed with hypo, and I know there are things you can test besides TSH to see if you have a thyroid issue. I just feel like my doc was like ‘welp you’re fine!’ without listening to my concerns.

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tiffanybruiser :  yeah – the friend who asked me is a mutual very good friend who went through 2 MCs and totally understands what I’m going through. She has been there for me through many a cry fest. She made it clear that I could say no if I couldn’t handle it, but since the showeree my bestie she didn’t want to just leave me out. She was very sensitive about it. But it still hurts.

I’m glad you’re feeling better today. Baby aspirin can’t hurt – I’ve started taking it too!! Hopefully your doc listens to your concerns and does all the tests! ❀️

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MrsBubsy :  thanks bee. Between her and my cousin who is due 3 days before I would have been, I feel like the universe just has a beef with me or something. Like WTF universe? Can’t a girl get a break?? 😭

Post # 950
Member
1998 posts
Buzzing bee

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sleepymelis :  I’m sorry πŸ™ I just did a shower too, and overall…it wasn’t horrible. For me, the worst part was tons of people showing me cute baby shit and asking ‘are you next!’. The actual planning part ended up being kinda fun. 

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tiffanybruiser :  I am so sorry πŸ™ no advice to offer, but glad you are going to reach out to your doc. Hopefully it’s either just shitty luck or an easy fix. I am taking baby aspirin this cycle too, so hopefully it does the trick! 

Post # 951
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

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sleepymelis :  Ugh I’m sorry to hear that your doctor won’t put you on synthroid and that you were asked to help plan a baby shower. That’s really insensitive of your friend. I think honesty is the best policy and I would ask them if it’s OK for you to help in another way (as someone else already said). 

Would your doctor test your free T-4 and free T-3? What was your TSH? Apparently the free T’s are what really matters, not the TSH. If your doctor won’t run them, maybe see if you can go to an endocrinologist? 

 

Post # 952
Member
1118 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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italianbride0508 :  thanks bee! I think I’m going to be involved just because I think I’d regret it later if I didn’t. I wouldn’t be the primary planner, at least – just helping out. Glad to hear you were able to have some fun with it 😊

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apostrophecatastrophe :  yeah – I considered suggesting it to her but she has such a laid back attitude towards the whole process that I’m getting tired of having to beg for every little thing, rather than having my doctor just try a little harder to find the problem. A friend of mine suggested her fertility specialist so I may look into that. 

Post # 953
Member
924 posts
Busy bee

I was SURE I had pregnancy symptoms earlier this week but have been testing BFN all week. Today, some of those symptoms seemed to have subsided so I’m feeling extra disappointed that I was probably just symptom-spotting and being a crazy person about it. Anyway, my period isn’t due until Saturday (2 days!). Do I have any hope for a BFP or should I just accept my fate for this month now?

(I know this sounds like a stupid question… I guess I’m just feeling extra defeated that I feel like everyone I know got their BFP a few days before their missed period and clearly mine has not been working out that way… πŸ™ )

Post # 954
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee

feedthebeags :  I had pink cm and spotting in some EWCM earlier this cycle when I thought I should have ovulated. I ended up having a delayed ovulation, so I think the spotting may have to do with that. Not sure if yours is similar or not.

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sleepymelis :  I get why the friend asked you to throw one — it really could feel like a blow either way. At least you’ll be throwing it along someone who knows your MC history and seems to be really sensitive to what you’re experiencing — it gives you some freedom to pull back if things get tough.

Post # 955
Member
1283 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Checking in here πŸ™
Your Age/Partner’s Age: 31/33

How long you have been together/married: married in 2013

How long you have been TTC: this is month 3

Known Issues/MC/TTC History: had an early miscarriage last cycle. I don’t know if it’s considered a chemical? Tests got progressively darker for about a week and but the digital never progressed and I started bleeding about s week after my period was due. Took a hpt yesterday when bleeding stopped and it was negative. Haven’t had a dr appt yet, going in next week.

This is for trying for baby 2, I have a 22mo daughter

Your TTC plans for the next few months: back to opk today, will try this cycle and then decide about whether or not to take a cycle off for Christmas due date

Just for fun: Do you have any fun summer plans? Heading to Florida in March (we live in Canada)

Post # 956
Member
1283 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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MrsBuesleBee :  ugh the whole “this will be part of me for the rest of my life” also makes me sad and angry. And sad. Sad. Sad. 

Post # 957
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

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sleepymelis :  I think it’s worth making an appointment with a fertility specialist, but apparently they don’t tend to be good with thyroid issues either. At my consultation a while back, mine said, “The only thing that matters for thyroid is TSH.” Nope! 

Post # 958
Member
1204 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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sleepymelis :  Do you know what your TSH number was? They say ideal for getting pregnant is somewhere in the 1 range. Mine was over 2 and that combined with a higher FSH number, my OB decided that maybe a low dose would help my body to ovulate without “stepping on the gas” so hard. I agree with apostrophecatastrophe . An RE appointment may not be a bad thing. 

AFM, I have my annual “wellness” check tomorrow with my OB. It’s a bit ridiculous since I’ve seen her so much and I’m not due for a pap but I get $50 from my insurance for doing it. Whatever. It’s probably going to be the last time I see her until I graduate from my RE or until next year. It better not be next year…

Post # 959
Member
1118 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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ColoradoGirl :  my TSH came back at 2.13. I know that doesn’t usually raise red flags, but I have SO many of the common symptoms of hypothyroidism, and coupled with the MC, I just don’t want to take any chances. Ya know?

I’ve asked my OB to refer me to an RE. She agreed to it so FX something good comes of it! 🀞🏻

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apostrophecatastrophe :  and I’ll be sure to insist on a full thyroid panel!! What is it with doctors not wanting to run those tests? What’s it to them? 😝

Post # 960
Member
1204 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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sleepymelis :  Yeah, that’s not terrible, but getting the full thyroid panel may be good. I hear you on not running the tests. I’m paying for it, just do it! Even if things look good, I’d rather be sure. FX you can get in to see an RE quickly!!

Post # 961
Member
1118 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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larissakay :  yeah, she was definitely coming from a good place and I appreciate that she was thinking of me. There really isn’t a good way to broach that topic – at least she did it in a thoughtful and gentle way!

 

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