(Closed) TTC After Miscarriage or Loss – Part 14

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 152
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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dachshundpup15 :  Yup, I’m with you on this one.  We have some additional factors to consider (getting pregnant with our 2nd spurred our geneticist to do some long overdue testing on our daughter), and we’re now waiting for results.  My  husband wants to move ahead with more babies right away, but I’m just not feeling up to it (I had my MC 7 weeks ago, and just had my first AF since, so we could start TTC right away).  I’m looking forward to working out hard, having some wine and enjoying the summer – ideally I’d like to wait till fall I think, but I know he wants to get going right away, and I’m not 100% sure I’m up to it.

Post # 153
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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bjenmomma :  Yep,

I find myself trying to convince myself tht i’m ready. The first time we got pregnant, I was go ready, I was excited, i was doing the full 9 – tempong, cm checking, everything. Now i’m just meh about it, I can’;t shake off the ‘meh’ feeling…all the while i feel guilty because my husband is so eager to be a father.

Post # 154
Member
7171 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

AF finally showed today! The wait has been torture. Today is exactly 5 weeks since my hCG was back down to 0 after my Ectopic….and I’ve been sitting around just waiting on AF to show. I was thinking it may start soon, since I’ve had cramps all day, and was glad to see it for once!

Post # 155
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Well it turns out that I am pregnant – still getting my head around it, but I’m happy to have a child. The process of getting the child is making me bloody miserable. Because my previous loss was so early I never experienced morning sickness. My freaking goodness – how women are able to hide it at work for weeks is beyond me. Anyway, I want to wish you all the best. I hope you get your rainbow babies soon and I hope this little bean sticks. 

Post # 156
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): rest/mc cycle 

MC History: blighted ovum miscarriage at almost 9 weeks

Issues (if any): Unknown… period hasn’t returned after D&C at the end of January. It’s been almost 16 weeks. Did a round of progestorgne and that failed to jumpstart my system. Due to my age (37) we have been sent to an infertility clinic. Worried I have scar tissue from the d&c.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): progestorgne challenge failed. Waiting on extended lab results, including AMH levels. Going to infertility clinic next week.

Link to chart: 

What are your biggest challenges right now?

The fact that my period hasn’t returned and I have no idea why.

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes: To try carry on as normal and not to stress

 



Post # 157
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

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Melly319 :  I just went though the same thing. D&C with no return of my period after a couple of cycles. I got severe cramps and pain each month when my period was due but zero bleeding. I had a couple of u/s that showed what appeared to be blood or fluid in my uterus. My RE was worried and sent me in for a hysteroscopy and it tuned out my cervix was 95% scarred from my d&c. I had the scar tissues removed last month and am waiting and hoping for my period to return this month. Have they done any testing to look into scarring for you? If not, I’d push for it!! 

Post # 158
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

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MsTrulove22 :  first,  I’m sorry you had to go through that. A miscarriage is already difficult enough but then dealing with the unknown of why your cycle hasn’t restarted and being unable to try again is frustrating. 

 

They have not looked at my uterus yet. A week after the d&c they did an ultrasound to make sure I didn’t retain any tissue. She said in 6-8 weeks I should have a period. Well it didn’t happen. So at 10 weeks she had me do a progestorgne challenge. Nada. So then she said due to my age she wanted me to go straight to an infertility clinic. The clinic had a two week wait for my consult phone appointment. So more time lost. Finally did some labs this week which allowed me to be cleared to schedule an appointment with the clinic for next week. At that time we will review my labs and probably schedule an appointment for a hysteroscopy. I too have had some cramping more recently. In fact I was sure the progestorgne was going to work due to the cramping, but nothing. It’s so damn frustrating. 

Do you mind if I ask how the procedure was to remove the scar tissue? Did they give you an estimated likelihood of it being effective?

Post # 159
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

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Melly319 :  I’m also so sorry for your loss. I was at my limit after 11 weeks and no period so I can only imagine the anguish over 16 weeks. If it is scarring they should be able to find it on a hysteroscopy. Hoping you can get that done next week as well. 

When they first mentioned the possibility of scarring I was so worried, but the process ended up being much easier than I imagined. I have to wait to see if my period returns to know if we were truly successful, but up till now it has not been bad. I did the hysteroscopy without any sedation so I found it to be a bit painful, but the whole procedure only lasted about 5 min. It was so much quicker than I thought. I ended up having no scarring in my uterus just my cervix.

I went to a doctor that specialized in scarring, not my regular RE. Although he did not give me a chance of recurrence, he seemed pretty confident that it was not likely no return. Fingers crossed!

hoping for the best for you!! Feel free to ask me any questions. 

Post # 160
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

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MsTrulove22 :  thank you for the follow up. Goodness this journey cam really test you. All signs are pointing to ashermans syndrome and yet getting my OB or the clinic to perform the necessary tests is like pulling teeth. Today I woke up with lots of cramping and emailed both my OB and clinic. Haven’t heard back from OB but clinic said I’d have to see my OB again before they would order the HSG testing. It’s very annoying. I wake up everyday wondering what this day will bring…but it usually ends with more questions than answers. Hoping I get my testing done soon because I can’t live in limbo any longer, four months is long enough!

 

Glad to hear you be had a good experience getting it corrected and wish you a speedy recovery! Sending good vibes your way!

Post # 161
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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dachshundpup15 :  Congrats on the pregnancy!  I was in the Sept 17 group with you, and was sad to see you go then.  Hoping you are able to feel hopeful and excited about this pregnancy, but know that it’s totally ok to have mixed feelings.

 

AFM, I’m on birth control again, I got a 6 month supply and we’ll reassess at the end of the 6 months.  I feel good about it.  I’m working out like crazy, and am looking forward to having a body I want going into another pregnancy, rather than feeling gross and out of shape right from the get-go.

Post # 162
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): TTC since May 2017

MC History: CP at 5 weeks in May 2018, MC at 7 weeks Oct 2018

Issues (if any): none 

I know many are going through this but does not take my pain away. Not getting pregnant, after TTC for a year did not make me that sad, I thought there was something wrong with me or hubby and I made my peace with it. But once we got pregnant and lost it immediately, I had the burning desire to have a baby. Everyone told me to try right away and that they all concieved immediately after having a MC/CP so I did try but did not get pregnant. Was a hit for me so I decided to take a break until I am mentally ready again. 

Tried on September, got pregnant and lost that one too. My really close friend got pregnant same time, she’s been trying for over a year just like us. And I lost mine. I am truly happy for her but as her baby bump grow it will remind me of my loss. I have hard time trying again. I almost don’t want to. But I feel like if I do get pregnant, and not lose it this time, it will help me feel better and I might forget about how painful it has been. Doctor said everything is fine with us and that we can try again, that it was jsut a bad coincidense. 

I started doing ovulation tests, and according to flashing smiley faces on Clear Blue kit, my ovulation is close. I just had MC last week and my cycles are every 40 days, and I have PCOS so that was a surprise. I might ovulate, or not ovulate.. I don’t know? it’s so weird I feel torn apart, one part of me wants to get pregnant more than anything, another part wants to have all my reproductive system removed so i don’t have to deal with all this. I really am not strong at all about this. I cry everyday. I am very angry at everyone and everything. No words make me feel better, if anything they hurt more or annoy more. 

People tell me “you’ll have a baby one day, don’t worry” the way I see it is as if I lost my husband and people are telling me “you’ll get married again one day, don’t worry”. I am dealing with a lost, and yes I do want a baby, but I’m grieving over the ones I lost. TTC again rightaway feels like I’m betraying them or like they never existed or they have no importance. I don’t want to try again. But then again I am not getting any younger I’m 34, and so I do want to try. I’m really torn. I feel like a failure, I feel incredibly unlucky and cursed, I feel like a loser, I feel extremely guilty, and just sad.

I want to get your input on what did you do to get over the MC’s? How did you move on? What are your suggestions, tips and trics to stop feeling this way and feeling better? Any tips on being hopeful and not freaking out about having another MC? People say don’t get attached to your baby so that it doesn’t hurt when you have a MC, but I do want to get attached. I want to bond with my little one the second it’s implanted. I don’t wanna feel like a surragate mother. I’m just sad and lost and don’t know how to move on.. Any tips and tricks would help. thanks!

Post # 163
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

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selenanana :  I think this thread is fairly abandoned. I’ll answer though. I’ve gotten pregnant three times this year including a D&C at about 12 weeks for a failed twin pregnancy. Nothing has stuck. I’m unsure if there is anything to make things easier. Time makes it easier for some people but not for all. I think we will try a few more times. It’s making me a bit worried that there may be health issues if we do get pregnant and it sticks. I’m basically just going through the motions and trying to not get invested. We got super lucky with my son and he is lovely so I do want to be fully present with him. A large part of me wishes we had never decided to try for a second because this has been hard both mentally and physically.

My parent’s neighbor is pregnant and due in January. We never told them when we got pregnant and had the MC at 12 weeks. I would have also been due in January. It’s been a little hard because my mother keeps having me meet with the neighbor to give her advice and loan her baby stuff from my son that I clearly don’t need. Blah. 

FWIW I didn’t bond with my son until he was closer to a year old. I was fairly convinced he was going to look like an alien and then I thought he was a very strange little baby. Looking back on baby pictures, he is just fine but I couldn’t see it at the time. He still likes me plenty and has the thing where he wants mom is he gets hurt. Pregnancy is a lovely time for some people but it is just a bunch of anxiety and worries for others. I don’t think a negative pregnancy is an insurmountable obstacle.

Is there an absolute reason why you have to move on right now? It’s ok to be sad and lost. Everything you’ve been through is really hard and plenty reason to be struggling. People tend to focus on moving forward. Sometimes it’s ok to just be where you are. If it’s really dragging you down you could consider visiting someone for some talk therapy. Your mental health matters.

Post # 163
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Is this the most recent TTC after miscarriage thread? 

 

On march 7, we found out that my baby had died just days before our first 10 week ultrasound. I decided to do a D&C on the 12th because I couldn’t bear the thought of waiting weeks and weeks for it to happen naturally. 

 

My question is, how do you know when you’re ready to TTC again? We wanted to wait at least one cycle to let my body heal and go back to normal again. And I’m pretty sure I just ovulated this weekend. So it has me thinking about the next cycle which is part exciting and part terrifying. I don’t want to rush into anything if we’re not emotionally stable, and I want to be in a good place for next time. But right now our family is still incomplete, and I want to be pregnant and have a baby so badly. I want my son to be a big brother. I know we aren’t replacing the one we lost, the next one will be our third baby in our hearts. 

 

Does waiting take away any of the fear and anxiety that comes with a pregnancy after miscarriage? Or will it always be there no matter how much time has passed? Because I can’t imagine not being anxious and worried, especially up to the 10 week mark. How do you know when you’re ready to try again? 

Post # 164
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I had a miscarriage at Christmas, I should have been 10 weeks. We started trying again as soon as I got a negative test and I got pregnant again straight away.

I thought a lot about waiting for a while to try again knowing I’d be extremely anxious. But I decided that even if I waited a year I’d still feel just as anxious.

We’ve already waited longer than we wanted to try for baby 2 due to work issues so I didn’t want to wait longer.

I’m nearly 13 weeks and I have found it hard. It hasn’t helped that I’m now high risk due to a large bleed. My best friend is due the same week as me and she has a pregnancy app which she checks every day and is really excited but I don’t think I’ll start to get excited until after the anomaly scan when I can feel it moving. 

As upsetting as the miscarriage was, I have to believe that I will get the baby I’m supposed to in the end.

I hope you get your rainbow baby soon. X

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Equine_Breeder :  

Post # 165
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

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Equine_Breeder :  I’m sorry about your miscarriage. I had an MMC last fall and a D&C shortly after as I felt the same way about it as you.

Due to my SO’s travel schedule we waited a cycle (although probably would have anyway). We started trying on the 2nd cycle after the D&C (November). I got a BFP last week and I’m barely 5 weeks. I am not yet feeling excited and more just going through the motions. There isn’t anxiety or fear either (although there DEFINITELY will be when I go in for my early ultrasound). It’s more almost like I’m in denial that I’m pregnant, despite desparately wanting this pregnancy.

I think until you get past the milestone where things went wrong previously, it’s almost impossible not to have a cautious/anxious mentality. I’m just trying to stay focused on other things in life and almost try to forget that I’m pregnant most of the time (while obviously taking are of myself appropriately).

It’s awful because I feel like my MC with my first ever pregnancy has basically robbed me not only of that child but also of enjoying the first months of pregnancy. My sister is on her second pregnancy, her prior one was easy and textbook – she LOVES being pregnant and honestly I’m dreading telling her I’m pregnant because she’s not going to be able to understand why I’m not excited/over the moon. She’s never had to build that defense mechanism.

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