(Closed) TTC after miscarriage support group

posted 8 years ago in TTC
Post # 17
Member
2259 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I feel for all of you! 

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@MrsMaskatoBe:  I totally understand your situation, too. 

 

I feel like miscarrying is a major reason I’m nervous to actually TTC. I don’t know if I could go through another situation like that again. 🙁 

Post # 18
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We miscarried 2.5 weeks ago at 5w2d, I finally feel in a place when I can talk with DH about TTC again. Most days are good, however, the hardest part has been being around a family member who recently had a baby, and trying to explain to family why it’s hard/can’t  be around right now when she is around with the baby. Some family has taken it personally, believe me it’s nothing against my nephew, it’s hard to be around ANY BABY right now, which is especially difficult being a nurse :/  The biggest thing is feeling so ALONE, we weren’t “that far along” but for 1w2d we knew about our Boo we were ecstatic and making plans, now things have changed.  Next time around I vow to not tell anyone until after the first trimester, not look at baby names or clothes, and not think about a nursery; as long as in return I get my Boo in my arms.

Post # 19
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

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@MCC919:  We’re on our first cycle of TTC too and I know when/if AF shows up I’ll be sad 🙁

 

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@NurseMags:  I hear you! My Mother-In-Law doesn’t understand why it’s difficult for me to be around my nephew and thinks I’m blaming him for the miscarriage. People don’t understand how difficult it can be if they’ve never had one and how heartbreaking it can be to be around people who are pregnant or babies/children.

 

Sticky baby dust to us all!!

Post # 20
Member
2259 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My own m/c has been on my mind a lot since we’ve started TTC. I never really cried about it until about a week later when DH’s friends called him up and announced they were pregnant. Hearing DH’s enthusiastic response made me feel worse. I remember feeling saddened by the fact we lost our baby so early, no one even knew I was pregnant. With such an early m/c I often feel like I’m the only one who feels the loss. I feel even DH doesn’t relate. It makes me feel ill thinking about it, that their baby can be celebrated after conception but the one I lost is to be forgotten by anyone but me. 

I can be happy for others who get pregnant without expecting it, truly. However, I feel this instance hardened my heart because it happened a mere week or two after my m/c. I keep praying the ache I still feel inside my chest will be replaced with joy when I finally carry a new baby inside me. 

 

Post # 21
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sending virtual hugs to all of you ladies. MC is a terrible thing to go through. I had a MC at the end of July and I was just over 7 weeks pregnant. We’ve been TTC since then but so far no BFP.  My AF is due today…at first I thought I might be PG this cycle but I took a test yesterday and it was negative. If I don’t get AF today I’ll take another test but it REALLY feels like AF is coming so I’m not very hopeful at this point.

@ChuckNorris I really appreciated you telling your “angel” story. I have an angel story of my own which I’d totally forgotten about until you posted this. My MC started on a Thursday although I didn’t know I was having a MC at that point. I had some spotting on the Thursday so I went to the ER and they did tests and said everything was fine, my HCG levels were good so there was nothing to worry about.

The next day I was feeling like garbage and to make things worse, we had to go to DH’s cousin’s wedding out of town. During the wedding ceremony there was a mother sitting in front of me holding her adorable baby girl who was maybe a year old. I kid you not, this baby just stared and smiled at me during the entire ceremony. Whenever I smiled back she’d giggle out loud. Later that night at the reception I was sitting at the table alone (still feeling like garbage) while everyone else was drinking/dancing. This old man came and sat down beside me. He put his hand on my arm and told me “There’s something special about you, you know that right?”…I was like “huh? Who is this guy?” lol. I guess he was related to the mother/baby who had been sitting ahead of me at the ceremony. He said that he’d been around the baby all weekend and she’d been fussing and crying non-stop. The only time she had stopped was when I was sitting behind them at the wedding and not only was she not crying, she was beaming with happiness! He said he just felt that he really needed to tell me that there must be something special about me. Little did either of us know that I was in the middle of miscarrying my own baby.

 

Post # 22
Member
2259 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@As_You_Wish:  I’m so so sorry for your loss. You sound like you’re going to make someone a great mama someday! 🙂

I also had no idea what was going on with my body when I m/c. I was finishing up my senior semester at university and I actually attended school that day despite how crappy I was feeling. DH stayed home from work with me that morning. I woke up and that was when the bleeding started. I felt terrible but somehow managed to go to class later that afternoon.

Post # 23
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ll join in.  It took my husband and I 17 months to get pregnant the first time.  I got to enjoy the pregnancy for all of 2 weeks before I lost her.  6 months (3 cycles) later, I got pregnant again.  This one felt very different.  I was sure that this was my rainbow baby.  I lost that one too, just a couple of weeks after I found out.  

I hated not having a good way to refer to my lost little ones.  I had a feeling that the first was a girl and the 2nd a boy, so my husband and I decided to just go ahead and believe that those were their genders.  My first was Angie Joy, and she should have been born August 12th, 2012.  My 2nd was Dustin Matthew, and he should have been due February 3rd, 2012.  

As for why I miscarry, there are a multitude of factors that could be at work.  I have PCOS, Hashimotos, homo c677t MTHFR, and a septum.  The septum is a recent discovery and it’s believed to be the primary reason why I’m miscarrying.  My uterus looks like a thick V rather then the triangle that it should look like, and much of that inner V area is dead tissue that can’t support a growing life since there is no blood flow.  I’m currently wtt while I wait on surgery to remove the septum and then will likely be on hiatus for another month or 2 while I heal from the surgery.

It’s been a while since both of my miscarriages, but even so the grief still catches me at times.  I’ve been trying to be strong in front of my in-laws, especially since I know they have a new grandchild to ooh and ahh over, but this past weekend, it just really hit me that we’d planned them coming to visit at this time during my first pregnancy and I should have been holding Angie for them to ooh and ahh over…. I feel bad for my Father-In-Law because he felt like he’d said something he shouldn’t have but it wasn’t anything he’d said at all… it was just one of those moments when being strong for so long had just caught up to me.  

I’m so sorry for everyone’s losses… it’s just not fair to lose a child.

Post # 24
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Did any of you find that the first few periods after your MC were much heavier than usual? AF just arrived today (this is my second period since the MC) and I’m definitely bleeding a lot heavier than normal and passing clots. It actually reminds me of the MC to be honest. I know this isn’t another MC because I’ve been religiously POAS up until AF arrived. I’m hoping it’s just my body’s way of “cleaning up” to get things ready for the next pregnancy.

Post # 26
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@knittylady:  Thanks so much for your reply. That makes me feel a lot better! I was worried because this cycle is much heavier than my last one. I was also told that the first cycle after your MC is the heaviest but this is definitely worse! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who this has happened to.

Post # 27
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

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@As_You_Wish:   Actually I’ve found kind of the opposite.  My cycles prior to getting pregnant the first time were always crazy heavy and I had full flow for 6-7 days of it.  Now I have full flow maybe 2-3 days and the rest is spotting.  Even those 2-3 days are much lighter then they were before.  I’ve made a ton of changes in the last year though so I am thinking that this is becoming my new “normal”.

Post # 28
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@dodgercpkl: That’s interesting. I’ve heard a few ppl say their periods were lighter after a MC. I guess one thing’s for sure, having a MC really changes your cycle one way or the other!

Post # 29
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

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@As_You_Wish:  I totally agree!  I’ve found that a lot of my pregnancy only symptoms have become tww symptoms and that sucks.  >.<  Oh well…hopefully my next pregnancy will stick and I won’t have to worry about this anymore.  lol

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