TTC After Recurrent Pregnancy Loss (2020)

posted 3 weeks ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
1788 posts
Buzzing bee

zstbee84 :  Thanks for making this. I’ve been thinking about making a thread like this for a while now. Having one loss sucked, but having multiple sucked SO much harder and sometimes it’s very lonely, as you said!

Your age/partner’s age: 28/29

Trying For Baby #: 1

History of MC: I’ve had 4 early losses, all in 2019

1. Found out I was pregnant a few days before Christmas, lost it new years 2019

2. A CP in April 2019

3. A 8 week miscarriage (baby stopped growing just beofre 6 weeks, never saw a heartbeat) in June 2019

4. A CP July 2019

Treatment Plan: I’ve had all the tests done and my RE basically said there’s nothing else we can test. He’s putting me on a “just in case” protocol of progesterone and baby aspirin + daily heparin injections for my next pregnancy. No guarantee it’ll do anything, but he said sometimes there could be an antibody or clotting issue we can’t even test for because no one knows it exists, so it’s all just “what if” and “just in case.”

Biggest Frustrations w/TTC and/or RPL: Not having any answers.

– People really not understanding what it’s like – we’re open about our losses to everyone, but no one REALLY gets it. People say insensitive things all the time and the losses have made me more sensitive. People don’t mean to be insensitive. They don’t even realize it. For example, my SIL said she wants her daughter to spend Christmas with some little cousins this year (her side of the family instead of ours) and that got me REALLY upset, because if I hadn’t miscarried that first one, we would have had a baby by this Christmas for her daughter to hang out with. But she has no idea.

– Getting advice I don’t want or need. Everyone wants to help, and I appreciate that, but I’ve gotten all the advice; I’ve done all the research; I’m doing everything I can. I don’t need help figuring it out from people who don’t get it. Sometimes I just need someone to say, “that sucks so hard, I’m so sorry,” and leave it at that. 

– Being terrified of other people getting pregnant around me. I’m scared shitless that SIL will get pregnant with #2 before we even have 1, and I know I won’t handle that announcement well at all if I’m not pregnant by then. Or worse, I’m scared of getting pregnant at the same time as her but then losing it while she gets to carry on. Terrifies me so much that I can’t think about it too long because I get crippled by it. I’m hoping therapy will help me cope with this one, because I think it’s honestly the worst aspect for me. Feeling like everyone is getting what I want, and I’m stuck in an endless loop.

– Not getting pregnant after loss – I know in the grand scheme of things it hasn’t been long since the last loss (on to cycle 4), but every cycle that goes by it gets harder. It FEELS long because we’ve been trying for over a year now. Every cycle it doesn’t happen makes it feel like it’ll never happen. And then when it does happen, it’ll be terrifying anyway.

– Scared of the cost of IVF. I know we’ll find the money and maybe take a loan out if we have to. I’m even sure DH’s parents would contribute to it. It’s just not covered for us at all so it would be a big cost.

Favororite Distractions: Throwing myself into house projects. Painting walls, DIY renovations. Working on improving the house and even planning future renos keeps me occupied. I can spend hours on pinterest getting ideas. I get REALLY into my projects. Video games with Darling Husband is another one! When I’m REALLY frustrated and don’t know what to do, I throw myself into cleaning with some loud music.

Post # 5
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Not roll calling yet, but just popping in to say I’m glad this thread is happening. It’s so isolating to experience RPL (I had 3 losses, preggo with #4 now – hopefully this is it!). Hugs to everyone here.

Post # 8
Member
1788 posts
Buzzing bee

zstbee84 :  Sorry about AF 🙁 Those BFNs are always so much harder after miscarriage. It feels unfair. It’s like, “but I did this already, I shouldn’t be getting these BFNs anymore.” We were lucky a few times and got pregnant the 1st cycle after a loss, but those also ended in losses. We’re now on the 4th cycle trying since my last loss, and 12 cycles overall. 

Post # 9
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

Your age/partner’s age: 30/35

Trying For Baby #: 1

History of MC: CP in July, September, and November

Treatment Plan: Haven’t met with any doctors yet – may try to make one here soon. I’m researching and playing around with supplements this month I think.

Biggest Frustrations w/TTC and/or RPL: Random people’s advice. I really struggle with not constantly being aware of things – though I did a much better job in November than I did in October after the second CP (I ran through an embarrasing number of FRER because I can usually always see the chemical strip and convinced myself it was a line). I’m going to try to do even better this month and just pray for a Christmas time miracle (though based on past data my period will be due on 12/20)

Favororite Distractions: Another vote for cleaning and organizing! Though I am also guilty of retail therapy – I’m much better at just wandering Target and HomeGoods now without buying anything than I used to be!

Post # 13
Member
1788 posts
Buzzing bee

zstbee84 :  IVF with PGS testing was one of the things my RE suggested, but we’re not going to jump to that just yet. We don’t have coverage for it with our insurance. I think if we’re still not pregnant or still having losses a year from now, I might consider it then. But for now I still want to keep trying naturally. My RE basically told us to not give up and to keep trying, and he said it WILL work out eventually. It felt amazing hearing that coming from him!

He said we could do the DNA fragmentation test if we wanted to, but even if they found something weird in my husband’s sperm DNA, the only thing they could really do about it is recommend he take a multivitamin. The RE basically said, “you may as well just start taking the multivitamin,” which my husband is already doing. So for now we’re skipping that test. RE said we didn’t need to bother doing a regular SA.

The last thing my RE prescribed me was progesterone, low dose aspirin and heparin injections (a blood thinner). I’m supposed to start all these things as soon as I get a BFP. He said it’s not a guarantee that it’ll help and that the data is mixed on it, but there is a chance that there may be some sort of antibody or clotting disorder we can’t even test for yet, and if that’s the case then this might help. There have been some studies that showed success on this protocol for people with unexplained recurrent miscarriages, even if the data is a bit inconclusive, so I was willing to try it! I’m going to start on progesterone after I O this cycle and hope for the best. Once I get a BFP, I’ll start taking the aspirin + doing the heparin injections (twice a day, ouch!). Basically my RE said it won’t hurt, and there’s a small chance it might help, so it’s worth a shot. Maybe this is something you can ask your RE about? I’ve met some others online (on reddit) that have also been prescribed this protocol for unexplained RPL.

Post # 14
Member
9586 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’ve had 3 losses since last October, but am currently 11 weeks pregnant with hopefully our rainbow baby. Pretty sure I won’t breathe until I actually have said baby in my arms though.

I do have Factor V Leiden, but I started Lovenox right away when I got my BFP this time. The studies out there are pretty wishy-washy on if it actually helps prevent miscarriage, but it can’t really hurt. Might be something to ask about if your OB/RE are open to it.

Post # 15
Member
1788 posts
Buzzing bee

Westwood :  Congratulations! Fingers crossed that you get your take home baby. Glad to hear things are going well so far ♥ Who knows if the lovenox is helping, but it’s definitely worth a shot, right?

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