- 3 weeks ago
- Wedding: September 2017 - California
I wanted to start a new thread where ladies who are currently dealing with recurrent pregnancy loss and TTC can discuss our journey, frustrations, positive stories, all of it!
Quick note on definition of RPL since this seems to come up a lot and get debated. I’m defining RPL the same way as the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (two miscarriages in a row), not the old fashioned 3 in a row that some doctors still use. The ASRM changed their definition a while ago, and seems to be the leading org in this field, so I’m going with that. Doesn’t matter if you already have one or more children as it could happen at any time – I believe the definition is two consecutive clinical pregnancies resulting in miscarriage.
Your age/partner’s age: Both 35
Trying For Baby #: 1
History of MC: 2 MC’s this year, one in January at around 8 weeks, and one in September. Had a D&C for the first and waited about a month for the second to happen naturally after seeing the first faint heartbeat at around 7 weeks.
Treatment Plan: Nothing at the moment, still TTC the old fashioned way. I haven’t tried Considering IVF with PGS testing (first possible cycle will be end of January 2020).
Biggest Frustrations w/TTC and/or RPL:
Suffering in silence and not being able to talk about this openly and trying to handle something really traumatic without feeling like I have a lot of support or understanding.
Watching so many others having babies in the time since my first MC. Hearing SO MANY stories of people who had an MC and then went on to get pregnant immediately thereafter (didn’t happen for me last time and I’m getting stark white BFN’s right now with AF around the corner).
I found out I was pregnant with my first pregnancy right before Xmas last year and now this year, Thanksgiving was going to be the day we announced this pregnancy to extended family, but obviously we won’t be able to do that, so the holidays are going to be so depressing this year. I usually love this time of year but now I just feel restless and sad!
Feeling like there are no answers or great solutions either (I got tested for various things and my most recent MC had chromosomal abnormalities, so the only real solution for me is IVF with PGS testing, which I am not looking forward to because it’s so invasive).
Feeling like I’m being punished by Mother Nature for “waiting” to TTC. I hate when people say “don’t wait”! I don’t feel like I was just dilly dallying waiting around. I went straight to grad school after college and then started a demanding career. Now, 10 years in to my career, I’ve married someone I love and am in a place where it makes sense to start trying to have children.
Insurance not covering IVF (I am hoping this changes for me next year with the new NYS mandate but I can’t get any information out of my insurance company about it!).
Favororite Distractions: Cleaning and organizing (yes, I’m weird, but it makes me feel good :)).