TTC after wedding and worried about big baby

posted 2 years ago in Babies
Post # 16
Member
311 posts
Helper bee

sandiegobee :  I hope you’re healing now, and enjoying your baby. I think trying to keep your friends positive despite your difficult experience is really kind and thoughtful.

Post # 17
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m not sure if you mean “naturally” as in vaginally, or “naturally” as in free of drugs (different women have different definitions), but having a big baby doesn’t exclude you from either of those birth experiences.

I agree with the women who have said that in the vast majority of cases, women grow the babies they are capable of birthing. I’m 5’10” also with narrow hips, and had my daughter (9lbs 4oz, 21”) vaginally with no meds through a long labor. I also did not have gestational diabetes- my family just grows big babies. My mom had three twin births, two of which were vaginally with total baby birth weights over 17 pounds. (And actually the third that was a C-section had the two smallest of her babies.) You can do it.  

Post # 18
Member
670 posts
Busy bee

sandiegobee :   pinkglasses :  It might be just me but I wished I heard more of the bad birth stories (not the exaggerated ones like pinkglasses mentioned) because it would have made me more prepared. In birth class, they made all of the intervention situations seem non-chalant so I was completely oblivious to how bad the situation was progressing with my birth. I also had no idea that full-term babies end up in the NICU so I was completely unprepared as well when that happened. 

OP, I’m 5′ 5″ my baby was nearly 10lbs and 22.5 inches long. My birth was terrible but most of it was not due to his size. My body wouldn’t contract, there was mec in my amniotic fluid and I really did not want a c-section. After hearing my friends talk about how “bad” c-sections were, I told all my nurses and doctors that I did not want one and they did everything to give me a vaginal birth. As I was pushing, my body wouldn’t contract and the oxytocin caused my baby’s heart rate to drop, when he started getting stuck in my canal, they tried the vacuum three times and when that didn’t work they broke his collar bone to get him out. I often wonder if I had been more open to a c-section that I might have gotten one and all of that chaos could have been avoided. 

This story isn’t to scare you but rather to say that there are so many variables in a birth so just be open to every situation and when the time comes try not to be so deadset on a specific birth plan. Most women tend to grow babies that their bodies can birth but if your body can’t birth your baby then you need to know how to adovocate and make decisions on what to do. My baby and I would have been fine if my body would have given me proper contractions. 

Post # 19
Member
9286 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

clovesa2015 :  yeah I’m with you. My L&D was also rough and all I had heard about from friends and family beforehand was about how easy/wonderful their deliveries were. “After just 3 hours of labor and 1 push, I was done!” “I was walking around an hour after!” “Tearing? Pooping? Of course not!” “Postpartum blues? Never!!” Etc. Etc. It always seemed like a competition over who had the most glorious experience ever and whose bodies were the most amazering at birthing/recovering. Barf. I wish I had heard more honest (even if terrifying) accounts, maybe then I wouldn’t have felt like something must be completely and utterly wrong with me since I didn’t have such a picture perfect time.

 

ETA: I’m really sorry your experience was tough. But you and LO made it and you’re both stronger for it (even with your battle scars!). Sending hugs. 🤗

ETA again: (on topic for OP’s sake!) I’m on the small side at 5’3” and Darling Husband is 6’2” and we had a fairly average-sized vaginally-delivered baby at 7.25 lbs, 20”. But he came 10 days early. I agree with PPs that I wouldn’t worry too much at this point, but I would try to be as prepared as possible for any scenario.

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by  Grid.
Post # 20
Member
969 posts
Busy bee

pinkglasses : mikaylaauel :  I’ve been wondering recently whether it’s head size that makes some difference? My boy was born in October and he was 6lb 13oz but his head was on the 95th percentile so I had a second degree tear, despite him being teeny tiny (didn’t feel a thing though… epidural <3).

Post # 21
Member
311 posts
Helper bee

iamali :  it is  combination of baby’s position, maternal tissues, diet, exercise, mom’s position at birth, speed of birth, how they “catch” the baby etc. First or second degree tear are pretty common and usually have a complete recovery, although they can hurt like crazy. I’ve seen BIG babies be born without a tear and small babies making more damage. Sometimes snaller babies can be born before they put themselflves in the perfect position – the pushing stage can be quicker, but their tilted heads can sometimes put more strain on the perineum. It is REALLY subjective though. Best way to avoid a tear is healthy eating, moderate exercise, maybe some perineal massage if that’s ok with mom, following instinctive pushing and not give birth in stirrups. Good tissues + good baby position + natural rythm in pushing 🙂

Post # 22
Member
969 posts
Busy bee

pinkglasses :  agree! It’s mostly chance/luck at the end of the day isn’t it. Ah yes I was in stirrups cos of the epidural, so pretty sure that made a difference. Was planning to be in the birthing centre walking about, using gravity, pools, etc.. but got there & his heart rate was dipping inbetween contractions so had to be bed ridden & constantly monitored unfortunately.

I think not getting hung up about birth plans too makes a difference.. my ideal went out of the window but it doesn’t matter at the end of the day. He got here in one piece thanks to the wonderful midwives! <3

Post # 23
Member
1661 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Loads of people deliver big babies without any problems, of course. Some deliver small babies with huge problems. But I have 4 friends who have needed episiotomies for relatively average size babies… The latest being 8.2lbs.

One of them has had a second baby now and chose a planned C section this time and said the overall experience and recovery was by far superior. She couldn’t have sex comfortably for almost a year after her first  baby was born but resumed a normal sex life like 10 days after the section and by 3 weeks later she was out walking up hills with us, it was amazing..

Another refused to allow episiotomy in her birth plan but needed follow up surgery for anal incontinence about 6 months after birth. Her labour was too fast for her to stretch much and it ripped her to absolute shreds. 4 directions of tearing and a solid 6 weeks of hard recovery with ongoing issues. 

A pretty good friend of mine had her baby this past Monday and needed an episiotomy followed by 5 days in hospital (she was only discharged this morning) because she couldn’t go to the toilet etc properly and was having a very hard time. I don’t know all the details yet unfortunately but it sounds like it was rough. 

I’d ask around. I’m 7 months pregnant currently and asking friends and family (and my midwife and my obstetrician) for real examples and anecdotes on a multitude of birth experiences and recoveries has helped inform my decisions for my own experience. No one can preempt the size of your baby though and it’s affect on your body. And things are so different for everyone. Some people bounce back beautifully where others struggle. Much like pregnancy and motherhood itself. But listen to good and bad stories and then decide. 

My own mom had 3 c sections by choice and raves about them. You’re the only person who lives with that decision at the end of the day. 

Post # 24
Member
3183 posts
Sugar bee

I was induced early due to preeclampsia, had a long labor that ended up with a c-section due to failure to progress. It was very emotionally and physically draining, but you know what? I’d do it again because I have a beautiful, healthy baby, and I’m almost completely healed. Better safe than sorry when it comes to preeclampsia or the c-section.

Post # 25
Member
734 posts
Busy bee

My mom had myself and my 2 siblings in a hospital vaginally without an epidural. My sister was 8 lbs, I was a little over 9 lbs and my brother (the youngest) was almost 11 lbs. For reference, my mom is like 5’3. She said my brother was the most painful however. I totally understand your concern about big babies… i’ve definitely thought about it too given mine and my siblings birth size. FWIW my sister and I are 5’6 and my brother is 6’1. 

Post # 26
Member
734 posts
Busy bee

Also would like to say that the doctor predicted my brother was going to be a 6 lb baby and he came out almost 11 lbs. So really, you don’t know what you have until it’s born. My sister in law was told her baby would be 9 lbs and she came out at 7lbs. My best friend at work had to go in for multiple ultrasounds because she was measuring “small”– they thought shed have a 6 lb baby and she came out at 8lbs. So it’s a crap shoot I feel like. 

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