(Closed) TTC and advice/words of wisdom

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I am pregnant with my first child and even though I haven’t met him yet, the feelings of love overwhelm me already and I can only imagine it will be 1000x more intense when he arrives. I actually have on multiple occassions thought to myself that I MISS him. As if I have already met him but he hasn’t been around lately. It’s the oddest thing. Whenever I wonder about these same things as you are talking about, I think about the love I have for my nieces. The first one in particular (not playing favorites, of course), I was there for her birth and was out of work while my sister was on maternity leave and spent so much time with her it created a very special bond. I love her like my own and if the love I have for her is even a fraction of what I’ll feel when my child is born, I think my heart might burst into pieces. I can’t wait.

Post # 3
9714 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

OUgal0004:  I think you’re normal.  Even when I was pregnant I didn’t have the same emotional connection I do now after the baby was born (especially in the beginning- it didn’t seem quite as real to me until later in pregnancy and after birth).  And certainly before I was pregnant/had baby I couldn’t understand those feelings either.  I really wondered how it was possible to “marvel over your baby sitting up” or love “watching them grow” (as people describe why they like being a parent).  It didn’t sound that great/interesting to me lol.  I wanted a family but honestly I didn’t understand some of the things people said were so great.  But sure enough, they turn out to be pretty great and it’s amazing to watch them grow. 

You’re not a monster and I wouldn’t worry.  Sometimes women don’t have that “instant connection” the exact minute after birth but it will come.  Honestly I was pretty overwhelmed the first few days after giving birth that I certainly didn’t sit watching her sleep in the hospital room marveling over her with love.  I was way too overwhelmed I think.  But it didn’t take long and that unconditional love/mama instincts will appear.

Postpartum depression is serious and a possiblity and sometimes it interferes with how women view motherhood and their babies, but even that should lift or be controlled eventually (your OB and partner should also be looking for symptoms in case you need help).

Anyway, I don’t think you’re crazy and I think it’s perfectly normal to feel like you do.  And I wouldn’t worry, you will love your baby.

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