Post # 1
Darling Husband and I are thinking of starting TTC in July. My sister is getting married August 11 and I’m cohosting a bachelorette party for her July 21. Obviously I don’t know how the cycles will be timed yet, and probably I will not have had time to have seen a positive test by July 21, but I would probably have already had a chance to have baby-trying sex. Do you think it would be ok for me to drink at the bachelorette? I’m not planning on going overboard, but it would be really conspicuous if I turn down all alcohol and I don’t want to tell people I’m trying. I’d rather not wait an extra month because of this party. At the wedding it should be easier to barely sip champagne and not drink anything else.
Post # 3
That’s a tough question and you have to go with what you’re most comfortable with. Some people are in the “drink til it’s pink” camp, others skip alcohol all together during TTC. I usually don’t drink during the TWW, or at least a few days after ovulation, since implantation would be several days after O and until then, the hypothetical baby would not yet be attached to me.
I would wait and see where you will be in your cycle on July 21. If it’s a time when drinking would make you uncomfortable, you could always be “on antibiotics”. If anyone is nosy and needs the details, then you have BV and are on metronidazole.
Post # 4
Maybe I could try to mix my own drinks and make my “rum and coke” all coke? A good part of the party will be in-home. When we’re at a bar I could order a beer I don’t like so I won’t be tempted to do more than sip it, and if it’s in a dark bottle people probably won’t notice that the level doesn’t go down. I could also volunteer to be Dirty Delete, although we are hiring a party bus or something so that might not be necessary.
The thing is, I just know that the second I turn down a drink, the next thing out of someone’s mouth would be asking if I’m pregnant. I don’t see evasion as really an option.
Post # 5
@marjojo: You can definitely mix your own drinks. At the bar, you can buy soda with a lime or with some grenadine and ask for a little mixer straw. If someone buys you a drink or a shot, have a dark beer bottle with you and ‘take a swig’ (spit the alcohol in it) after. Those are just a few tricks I used as a server when well meaning pple bought me drinks.
Alternatively, you can set the stage the week before and say you’re on meds like PP mentioned. Make sure to grumble about it to a friend or two, but don’t protest too much 😉
Post # 6
Mixing your own drinks is fine if you’re at someone’s home the most time. Just make sure nobody sees you mix you drinks.
I did the “soda as mixed drink” thing at a bar once and it was a complete fail, because the soda was served in larger glasses than the mixed drinks, so everybody instantly knew I wasn’t drinking alcohol.
If you decide to go the “medication route”, you don’t even need to set the stage, IMO. I usually don’t announce that I have a bacterial infection in my vajayjay. And once people ask you and you tell them, they are usually quick to change the subject. 😉
Post # 7
I completely understand your dilemma, Darling Husband and I have been trying for a while, and just recently found out that we are expecting. I was the Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friend in December (she got married at Christmas), and was dealing with the same issue.
However, Darling Husband and I have elected to postpone the TTC till after the bachelorette party and the wedding, in order to focus on the wedding festivities and the couple. From the limited information you present, it appears as though you are trying to beat your sister to motherhood. Are you two the only children in the family and she is older? That would perhaps explain why you want to get ahead.
Make your choices wisely, but after all, you already beat her to the punch – you got married first:)
Post # 8
I would just mix your “drinks” at home and maybe by the time you get to the bars everyone will be tipsy and won’t notice what you are or aren’t drinking.
PP, she doesn’t have to put her TTC plans on hold for her sisters bacherlorette party. It so isn’t a big deal if she doesn’t want to drink. I don’t think she is trying to beat anyone to the “punch”.