(Closed) TTC and dealing with Disappointment

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I can relate. I haven’t talked about it on here though, because we have only been trying for a few months, and I know there are so many others that have been trying for much longer, and I don’t want to seem insensitive.  I am not to the point where I am devistated by not being pregnant, but it’s awful to get your hopes up and then have them shot down.  I also think every little thing that happens to my body is a sign of pregnancy and I try not to think about it, but so far that hasn’t worked.

Post # 4
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’ve tried to figure out the things that make me most upset.  #1 having a negative test.  I get my hopes up much more when I test, so most months I have tried to wait a really long time and for me getting AF is like “eh” but better than waiting 3 minutes to see nothing show up on a test.

I also do some counterproductive things after a failed month like getting coffee on my way to work for a week or have a glass of wine at night.  In some weird way I feel like I’m rebelling!

I’ve mentioned this before but it was harder the first few months, now that’s it’s been 7, I realize it might take awhile and that it doesn’t really matter if it’s now or in a few months.

The very hardest thing is worrying that something is wrong with my body, but that I won’t really know until a year has passed.  Buying the Clearblue Fertility Monitor and charting have helped ease that fear a bit because they give more information about what my body is actually doing.

Post # 5
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

We tried for 2 years. I know exactly where you are coming from. IT SUCKS. Just try to do things for you that make you happy. Sometimes that helps to keep your mind off of the BFN and AF. We sought treatment, but most people do not get to that point

Post # 6
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It’s just hard.  The first month was the hardest for me.  You think it’s just going to happen, so it was a blow when it didn’t.  Each month seeing AF is hard, and I feel like it is never going to happen.  For me (I realize it’s different for other girls) I’ve come to just expect AF, that way I’ll be even happier and more surprised when I get the BFP.  But let yourself be disappointed, because it’s really darn disappointing, but then pick yourself back up and enjoy a glass of wine πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am actually going to make a list of a few reasons that next month might be better. There is never a perfect time, but I’m trying to see the positive. So if this month isn’t it, then next month would be better:

So I can drink a little on our 2 year anniversary

So we could possibly conceive on our 2 year anniversary trip!

So that the timing works out better to tell my parents (they are going to be traveling for a while)

Etc etc etc.

This way, if it happens this month, GREAT! If not, there is a silver lining!! πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

@LoveHappy: I totally did that this month too.  Like I really didn’t prefer a December baby.  Now we’ll be working on a January baby….  And for my school year.  The closer I get to May, the more time I get off continuously.

Post # 9
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I completely feel your pain. I’m constantly disappointed. We got lucky the first time around and got a positive PG test after trying for just three cycles.  Shortly after I had a miscarriage and we lost our precious little one at almost 6 weeks. It’s been five cycles since my miscarriage and NOTHING.  I don’t even take PG test anymore. I just wait for my period to show up.  It’s so hard.

I usually treat myself to something that pampers me and only me: mani/pedi, facial, massage, etc.  I stopped buying clothes because I was so sure that I was going to get a BFP “that” month but I’ve started shopping again too to help ease the pain of the negative PG test.

Take care of yourself and know that it will happen in time.

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee

We would have been on our 7th month but we took last month off and now my cycles are becoming irregular for some reason. I dont know whats going on with my body.. my cycles and ovulation days were on point now this… UGH! i really just want to give it i guess our 28th birthdays are coming up so its making it worst!! and the whole stupid question everyone wants to ask “So whens the baby coming” UGH! so annoyed!

Post # 12
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

Ah yes, that is hard!  For us, I went off BC and then my job took me to Asia for the better of the next 4 months.  My focus during this time was on enjoying the things that I couldn’t once I was pregnant/ had a baby.  So while it was still dissapointing every month when AF came (I also decided not to test early) we enjoyed wine tasting, nights out, sleeping in, etc etc…..and I think the wine helped eventually with the BFP πŸ™‚  also, not overly focusing on it – eg not spending too much time online looking at every symptom and discussing TTC all the time (obviously this varies if you are facing fertility issues vs. regular TTC).  I equated it all a bit to waiting to be engaged – enjoying the anticipation, the fact that this exciting time still lay ahead of me but who knew when, all the fun that was to come but also to enjoy the moment and what it still felt like to be young and have a boyfriend πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Enjoy and good luck!!

Post # 13
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

@MrsJVP: Do you ever just want to slap people when they ask about babies?!

My Mother-In-Law was the worst. I finally looked at her and said “When I get pregnant, we’ll tell you. Until then, stop asking because all it does is make me feel miserable and incompetent.” We eventually went on Clomid and even that took 3 rounds…

Post # 14
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

The worst part for me is how crazy I feel around TTC. We’ve been trying for a few months and I’m 40, so every month that passes by becomes one step closer to the cliff of ‘too old to get pregnant’. I went to the doc and she put me on BCP since I’m  having 21 day periods. She ran a pregnancy test, just to be sure. I know I’m not pregnant–did I mention I’m on day 21 of my period?!?! But this crazy part of me was kinda hoping that some miracle happened and I was. Gah! If anyone sees my rational-self, please tell her she is missed…

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