TTC and facebook

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

mo711 :  Sharing a pregnancy is big news. We have lots of family from all over the world on our Facebook and wanted to share publicly (even though in general we aren’t too active on there.) You can announce and still be sensitive to others feelings. I didn’t have too much trouble conceiving, even though doctors suspected I would.

Our announcement did not have any baby clothes or ultrasound pictures. After we announced, we have not posted anything else about our pregnancy. No pictures of belly growing or maternity shots, no complaints about back pain or asking others where we should take a babymoon etc    . I hope it happens for you soon, and when it does, you can share your excitement with others! 

Post # 3
Member
438 posts
Helper bee

As someone who has been TTC for almost 4 years, I both love and loathe people’s pregnancy posts on FB. I am happy for them but sad it still isnt me. But I think social media is for sharing and being pregnant is a big thing to share! 

Post # 4
Member
621 posts
Busy bee

We acknowledged our struggle with infertility when we posted and it opened the doors to several friends telling me about their struggles. I just tried to be sensitive while still sharing our happy news. I don’t feel anyone should have to hide it, but be thoughtful when you do it. I think that’s sufficient! When I was struggling it hurt to see and I unfollowed people for a while, but I didn’t expect them not to share at all. 

Post # 5
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I have been extremely fortunate in life and as a result I don’t post on social media. It would just make a lot of people I don’t see often have negative feelings I think… just bragging for no reason. The friends and family I experience my life with and my fortunes with give me all the community/shared joy I need. Family and friends who are far away appreciate personal staying in touch. I plan on telling people about my pregnancy in person, or over the phone. If I’m not close enough to someone to tell them myself we are either in the same social “world” and they’ll hear about it eventually or they don’t need to know. Telling people individually or in person (like at dinner with friends) is such a joy i have no idea why people want to give that up with a social media post.

Post # 6
Member
38 posts
Newbee

I am not on any form of social media because I feel, for me, it is to my own detriment. I see many people happy about their fb and such and I truly think that is great for them. But given your current situation, maybe it might be a good idea to not look at fb for a while. It can be harmful at your current state of mind. I would ban myself and Darling Husband haha to keep the sanity.

I am so sorry for your situation. It must be hard and i just want to send you a hug. Honestly, anyone that would really really want to know about your pregnancy, you will likely phone or text… or in person announce. Or heck at least invite to the shower!

Also, with TTC, when you do actually conceive I have heard people be in fear of any unfortunate event that can happen and on top of that your emotions and hormones O MY! Why add the unforseen drama of fb to all that until at least your second trimester?

Much love to you

Post # 7
Member
7815 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I had a miscarriage and then it took almost a year to conceive this baby. We didn’t announce this pregnancy until 18 weeks and I haven’t posted about it since. I think as long as it’s not over the top bombardment it’s fine. Life is not fair or equal. Someone will get a promotion as someone else is getting laid off. It is fine for people to step away from social media if they need to, but the rest of the world should not tip toe around. We need things to be happy about in the world.

Post # 8
Member
1219 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I post less and less on Facebook. We’ve been married for 3 years and I’ve been asked countless times when we’re going to have kids and seen most of my friends get pregnant once, and then a second time, while it still wasn’t happening for us. I have PCOS and Darling Husband works away a lot so timing for treatments has been really tough.

im now 8 weeks pregnant. We will tell our family and close friends over the next few weeks, and will probably put up one photo on Facebook hinting at a pregnancy but without being too obvious, and not until about halfway through. For our engagement for example, I wrote “yes” in the sand with the date he proposed and posted a photo on Facebook. I will do something similar for the baby.

while we were TTC I found it hard but was also happy to see friends’ announcements – to me it’s only bad when they start saying how long it took (3 whole months of trying!!) or how fat they’re getting or how they didn’t really want a baby yet, but are dealing with it. Those are the kind of insensitive friends you don’t need. 

I don’t know if you saw a post on here the other day where someone’s SIL wanted to announce her pregnancy at a family party, but the other one was struggling a lot with TTC. There was a huge discussion about which one of them was being selfish. While I feel terribly sorry for the one who’s struggling, I feel like we shouldn’t make other people hide their joy, or feel guilty about it, especially if they’ve had issues too. 

Post # 9
Member
2855 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We were trying for 2.5 years. We have not said a word about my pregnancy on FB (I am 32 weeks now)

Partly it was because hubby is VERY private and quite dislikes FB, but mostly it was because we remember how sucky it felt every time a pregnancy announcement was made. We have friends who had been trying as long as us and we didn’t want to rub their faces in it (strangly enough they got pregnant a couple of months later and took their time to tell us for the same reason.

It is a very personal choice to make. For us it was right to keep it off SM (incidentally we don’t plan to post ANY photos of the baby on FB we both strongly believe that they should decide when they are older what baby photos they want to share with the world)

Post # 10
Member
1847 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I didnt post anything about my pregnancy until my daughter was born.  A couple people were surprised about it, but if I havent seen or spoken to a person in months, who cares?  Everyone I actually cared about was told in other ways.  I have seen way too many people have to “unannounce” pregnancies on facebook plus I had numerous friends going through miscarriages, infertility, etc.

Post # 11
Member
14965 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes, we’ve been struggling.  It’s been just over 4 years, 6 roudn of IVF, 2 miscarriages and stilll trying.  Pregnancy announcemets sucks.  Baby born announcments suck.  Baby 1 yr old birthday party pictures sucks.  Cute little family pictures suck.  Everything SUCKS all the same.  But those are shared based on the posters excitement and not with malicious intent…. so I just move on.  I never planned on a huge pregnancy announcement on FB, for no particualar reason.  But I do one day, if it ever comes, plan on a birth announcment and all the pain and suffering that came before it.  I am quiet about it now cause I dont care to have people to have NO idea what this feels like to try to talk to me about it and give me antedotes of well, I know Marys sisters cousin had trouble and accupunture worked for her kind of crap to deal with right now.  But I am willing to come out with it in case anyone wants to reach out to me that needs to talk if they are struggling too.

Post # 12
Member
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We tried for 26 months and just announced at 13.5 weeks. We had shared our infertility struggles briefly on Facebook as well before. in our announcement, I included a photo of us with a chalk board with the numbers of days we waited and prayed and a list of all the tests, medications and blood draws it took. I also included a link to our blog where more details were. It opened the door for a lot of people to contact me and ask for advice and encouragement. I’ll continue to post about pregnancy on our blog, but keep it quieter on Facebook.

Pregnancy announcements on FB sucked for me going thru infertility, but I never felt like people shouldn’t. Its their joy to share. Its a personal choice on what you want to do, but there are ways to make it more sensitive to others in a difficult spot like TTC. 

Post # 13
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I’m 26 weeks pregnant and still have yet to post a pregnancy announcement, or any full body photos of me pregnant since I started showing. It took me a while to get pregnant too, and seeing other peoples announcements bummed me out. I plan on doing a birth announcement however. I look forward to all these old aquaintances and college friends of mine doing a double take!

Post # 14
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

As someone dealing with infertility, I’ve had to take a step back from Facebook specifically because of pregnancy announcements and baby photos.

That said, even thought I wasn’t able to cope well with them, I never felt like other people shouldn’t post/share their good news. Their lives and excitement and how they share life’s milestones shouldn’t be dictated by my (or anyone’s) emotions. If you want to share, go for it!

Post # 15
Member
4998 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I deleted my Facebook account for about 1.5 years while we were going through IVF – it was just too painful to see everyone’s pregnancy announcements and baby pictures. I reactivated my account after we finally got pregnant, but I don’t post much. I did post a pregnancy announcement, but it was very clear we went through infertility, and I wrote a caption about how hard it was for us to start a family. I didn’t want anyone going through infertility to see my post and feel sad, so it was important to me to acknowledge our struggles. I had a lot of positive feedback and people thanking me for being honest, so I’m glad I did it the way I did, but it isn’t for everyone. I was pretty open about what we went through the whole time (in real life, not on social media) and I got amazing support from friends and family. 

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