(Closed) TTC and facebook

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

While the process went smoothly for me, I have dear friends who have dealt with infertility and loss, and I don’t want to cause those friends unnecessary pain.  I did not post a pregnancy announcement on Facebook. I just told my close friends in person/over the phone/however I could reach them or in whatever way seemed best for our friendship and their situation. Occasionally someone else would tag me in a bump-y pic, or post some article about pregnancy on my page, and other random FB friends would do the “omg I didn’t know you were expecting” thing. But I deliberately kept radio silence until the kid was actually here. And I try to limit the frequency of those posts even now, partly so it’s not a constant barrage of baby pictures. 

Post # 17
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

we didn’t post on social media, mostly because those who need to know about our pregnancy, knows about it in person.

Post # 21
Member
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I actually posted on FB because we struggled.  I know it was hard seeing announcements on FB,  but it was infantry harder to find out and have to react in a way that didn’t include “fuck you,” and run to another room crying in person.  Not for everyone, but we had two announcements on FB that made me really disappointed/upset. 

We found out about one accident where a guy got his side piece pregnant and another where my cousin who got married recently got pregnant (within 3 months of getting married).  If I didn’t have the FB buffer for those announcements, I would have reacted very poorly in public instead.

Post # 22
Member
8742 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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mo711 :  we struggled for 2 years and I plan on doing a Facebook announcement eventually (only at 8 weeks now). I bought a onesie that says “made with lots of love and a little science” that I’ll include because I think it’s important to normalize the bad sides of baby making (miscarriages, infertility, etc) so that more women feel comfortable seeking help. 

Post # 23
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
Misswhowedding :  I agree that while it can be hurtful, facebook can actually be a buffer.

However, I will say I’ve noticed more announcements lately that have been very truthful, revealing it took months/years longed than they planned. That it involved miscarriages or medical assistance. One person even acknowledged how she knew that regardless of the struggles it took her to be able to make this announcement, someone would still likely be hurt that it was not their news to share. 

I appreciate those posts, but I want to share my news when it’s time, so I remember that when I see a post that makes me sad.

Related topic… one thing thats FAR worse than other people’s pregnancy announcements are people tagging you in posts like a list of names you’re included on titled “Girls Most Likely to Get Pregnant in 2017″… because that happened to me the other week. Tagged by a male co-worker no less. Weird. Awkward. Inappropriate.

 

 

Post # 24
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I did not “announce” on facebook the first time around.  Eventually a picture of me was posted and old friends found out that way.  

 

Next time I will probably announce but include something about my struggle.  (I didn’t “struggle” the first time (took 8 months though).  This time is taking forever and I’m still not pregnant yet.)

Post # 25
Hostess
11050 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
mo711 : We were TTC for a long while and for much of that I thought I’d do a seasonal themed announcement on FB, when it came to it I didn’t feel the need. We’re now 22 weeks pregnant and now that all those people who feature largely in my life know I may post something on FB Christmas eve for people I don’t get to see. Hope your TTC journey doesn’t last too much longer, I thought and I mean that genuinely that it wouldn’t happen as it had been that long but then one month when I wasn’t paying much attention to timing etc BAM it happened and our wish become true. 

Post # 26
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

It took 18 months of TTC to get baby #1, and I posted at 11/12 weeks that we were pregnant.  I also posted at 12 weeks with baby #2.  

I kinda feel like it’s up to you to protect yourself from seeing announcements if they bother you, so don’t feel bad about posting.  If people on your friends list don’t want to see it they could stay off FB until they’re ready, you aren’t the only one sharing the news I’m sure. 

Post # 28
Member
6429 posts
Bee Keeper

I recently had a miscarriage, so seeing people announce that they are pregnant kind of makes me sad because they are usually doing it when they are in their second trimester, and that’s where I would have been now. But at the same time I’m happy for my friends. While only three of three of them are second children announcements (which is what makes me sad, this would have been our second), I see so many first child announcements, which is just such an exciting time for them.

I think if I were to get pregnant again I would strongly consider waiting on if I would post on facebook or not.

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