Post # 1
D.H. and I are going to be TTC this coming fall for the first time and I’m having a whirlwind of emotions. I’m a bit scared, but mostly just anxious and excited!
The problem I’ve been facing is that I have no one to talk to about it (other than D.H.). I’m big on sharing and talking and getting everything out, but none of my friends are anywhere close to being in this same life stage as me, so when I try to talk about it or just share my feelings, they just kind of brush it off and don’t know what to say. I understand completely – it would be very hard for them to relate so I definitely don’t hold it against any of them.
Don’t get me wrong, they’re supportive, but their answers are usually limited to, “aw that’s exciting” or “nice!” and I’m left wanting a little bit more of a conversation, ya know?
I’m just wondering if any bees have similar experiences? How do you cope with wanting to talk about, but having no one to talk to about it?
Post # 2
hopfenn : Join some TTC groups on facebook!
Post # 3
I’m not trying to be mean, but I’m kinda wondering what you expect? If someone told me they’re going to try for a baby in a few months I’m not really sure what else I’d say other than “that’s exciting!”, because…..nothing has happened yet?
And I have a kid and another on the way, so I don;t think it’s necessarily a lifestage thing.
TTC boards are probably a good idea.
Post # 4
Maybe I didn’t explain it correctly! Like I said in my post, I totally understand where they’re coming from and don’t hold it against them for having nothing to say.
I wasn’t asking for advice on how to force them to talk to me, I was just wondering what other people have done to do to talk about stuff related to TTC, like charting, planning, prenatals, all of the emotions that come with making the initial decision to have a baby, etc.
Post # 5
hopfenn : I have a similar problem. It’s not that I expect my friends to ask a ton of questions even though some have but I have no one to go crazy down the TTC spiral with.
Feel free to PM me! I just got off BC and we’re sort of TTC/ NTNP. The bee helps me a lot because I know the people who will answer are those in the same boat.
Post # 6
saratiara2 : +1.
Even while starting TTC, I really had no urge to talk about anything to anyone cause, what is there to talk about? Hey, we’re TTC!! Oh, you’re gonna be having lots of lots of sex, especially around ovulation, that’s awesome, let me know how that goes!!?
Post # 7
join the POAS boards. Most people in real life don’t want to talk about cervical mucus and OPK strips as part of normal conversation. Not trying to hurt your feelings, but I think you just have unrealistic expectations. I’ve been TTC over a year and if a friend told me she was going to start ttc soon, I’d be like “oh, super exciting! Anyways, where should we go for dinner next week?”.
Post # 8
pinkshoes : Well personally, I like to plan and to talk about stuff to just get things out. I’d love to have someone to talk to about stuff like, “What do you think of these prenatals?” “Man, I was excited yesterday but today I’m feeling a bit anxious and afraid about the idea of having a baby,” “My Mother-In-Law asked me about if we’re planning on trying to TTC soon, it was a bit awkward” etc. As I said, I don’t expect my existing friends to have anything to say about any of this. That’s why I’m here 😀
asobos : Thank you, this is it exactly 😀 I just want someone to go crazy with sometimes when I need to let it all out!
Post # 9
hopfenn : I guess that makes sense if you’re the type of person that likes to talk things out outloud to others. But I feel like it’s such a personal decision, that most of these talks are usually just between the two people who are going to be doing the TTC… .everyone has their own reasons and choices and ultimately nothign anyone else says really matters?
Post # 10
pinkshoes : +1….exactly, I literally not sure what to say after the initial “awesome, good luck!” because if I ask how it’s going, it’s like… I’m asking details about their sex life.
I can get onboard with the chatting about the actual pregancy or forthcoming baby, but the whole TTC thing, I’m sort of at loss for words, and I have a bunch of friends trying or have had recent babies. I’ve had to tell my husband NOT to talk to his parents about it much beyond the whole “sure, one day” thing as they are totally the type to check in, and I have ZERO – correct that- NEGATIVE desire to have them asking how our unprotected sex life is going.
Post # 11
hopfenn : I mainly just talked to the TTC board here about it 😀 Most of my friends either already have kids or aren’t planning to, so I feel you. Plus I’m kind of private and don’t really love talking with friends about my sex life, my cervical mucus, or my overbearing MIL!
Post # 12
Agree with pp – join the TTC boards here and let that be your outlet. I honestly wasn’t too interested in hearing all the details about my friends TTC journeys or their pregnancies before I was in that phase myself, so I try not to talk about it much around friends who don’t have kids yet. Also dh and I were very private about TTC in general so we wouldn’t have felt comfortable sharing that journey with most of our friends (I did confide in my bff though, who has a son). If you’re looking for a community to bounce ideas off of re: things like prenatals, you’ve found it here on weddingbee! Join the monthly POAS threads if you haven’t already – awesome community there.
Post # 13
hopfenn : definitely join the POAS threads here on weddingbee. I never spoke to any of my friends about TTC, short of just saying “we’re going to be trying for a baby soon!” And their response was generally “oh how exciting” and that was the end of it. Its way too intimate a thing to go into detail about. However, nothing is off limits on the POAS boards so just join a month one and go for it! Literally whole threads dedicated to cervical mucus if you so desire.
Post # 14
Besides online…Are there prenatal classes in your area? They might have some in-person resources for groups where you could have a tea and chat with some ladies. Even maybe try meetup?
Post # 15
KittyYogi : Hahaha yeah that’s fair! I’m kind of a blabbermouth in general. I definitely don’t mean talking about the details of our sex life. I mostly meant just like…the emotional stuff hahah. How I had my Maid/Matron of Honor for wedding planning when I was being crazy about picking a dress or bridesmaid dress colours and stuff.
I guess these boards are a good place to start 🙂