- 3 years ago
So, DH and I got in an argument last night and while I kind of understand where he is coming from, I guess I’m just looking for support… or for you to tell me I’m absolutely crazy.
Long story short, DH and I have been TTC for a long time now. Last month, we were supposed to undergo an IUI procedure but then it was cancelled at the last minute when they saw my ovaries had been overstimulated and released 4 eggs. (They didn’t want to risk me potentially getting pregnant with quadruplets.)
Anyway, we were going on vacation this month and therefore would have to skip our IUI attempt for this month. I kind of took this with a sigh of relief. We’ve been trying so hard and for so long and have been met with so much disappointment, I felt like, well, maybe I can just take a break from TTC this month for my own sanity.
So that’s what I told DH. I told him that for this month I would really like to take a break from TTC. Other than prenatatals, I haven’t been logging symptoms in my apps, haven’t been timing BDing or BDing as frequently, no OPKs, no temping with my Ava bracelet, etc. At the time, he said he understood.
Since getting back from our vacation about a week and a half ago, DH and I haven’t had sex at all. Then, for the past few days, he’s been incredibly moody. Nonetheless, he kept telling me nothing was wrong when I asked and that he was just tired.
After a few beers last night and being rather short with me, I asked him again if something was wrong, and he get really upset with me. He said because we haven’t been having sex recently (a few times in the past month vs. every other day), he feels like I am not attracted to him or love him. In addition, he brought up the fact that I don’t seem to want a kid with him since I’ve stopped wearing my Ava bracelet at nights and doing all of the other baby-making things I had been doing over the past year+.
I calmly reminded him about the fact that I wanted to take a break from TTC this month. I reassured him with how much I love him and find him attractive. I also explained that he doesn’t seem to fully understand how much of my life I was dedicating to TTC over the past year+ between making sure I got all of my vitamins, to checking my BBT charts every day, to just timing my life around when we were going to BD. Literally, TTC has been the only thing on my mind for months and it’s caused me a lot of stress. Nonetheless, he was still very upset at the end of our 2-hour argument about this. (I’m sure the beer he was drinking prior to this didn’t help the situation.)
Am I being completely selfish for wanting to just take a mental break from TTCing for a month? If not, is there any good way to make him understand that just because we aren’t having sex every other day, doesn’t mean I don’t love him/find him attractive and definitely doesn’t mean I don’t want to have a baby with him?
Maybe both of us are just too sensitive about this topic right now and are both handling it irrationally.