Post # 1
So Darling Husband & I have been ttc for about 5 months. Hopefully my body gets back to normal soon but it’s still slightly wonky from getting off the pill. Anyway, I’ve been applying for new jobs and had a phone interview Friday. Turns out I passed the phone interview and the HRM wants to meet me. Now that the initial “heck yes” has worn off, I’m scared and idk what to do.
Worst case scenario, I change jobs and find out I’m pg the same week, which means I’d be too early to qualify for fmla by about 3 months by the baby’s due date.
I’ve done some googling on the topic tonight and the resounding theme of the advice is don’t wait, since you never noire how long it’ll take. Makes sense. Scary but makes sense. Part of me wonders if we should pause ttc for a few months after this potential job change if I’m not going to have a bfp next wk. (Yay for tww windows :/ )
Anyway… advice? Stories? Thanks!
Post # 2
This is so hard. I have been contemplating changing jobs, but I think I’m going to put off leaving my current employer as we are planning to start TTC soon. Obviously you don’t know how any of these pieces will work out…. how long it will take to get PG, what will happen with the new job… but starting somewhere new and realizing that you won’t qualify for FMLA is pretty scary to me. So for you, since the new job seems on the horizon, if you do get it I’d pause TTC for 3 months so that you’d qualify.
Post # 3
Ugh it is so hard planning with so many things you cannot control! It sounds like you will know if you have a BFP before you could have to give a final response to a job offer so for now I would just wait (OK, and I would plan like mad in my head for every possible scenario, but you shouldn’t do that!). If it is a BFP AND you get an offer you can consider whether you would be happy with the possibility that you will not get much leave after giving birth. Remember, not being required to follow FMLA does not prevent an employer from giving you unpaid time off-some jobs will accomodate (I know someone who took something like 4 or 6 weeks unpaid shortly after starting a job because she had extensive wedding and honeymoon plans – this works for some types of jobs and not others, of course).
If you do not get the job then there is no decision to be made-enjoy your BFP or keep TTC (and looking for work) as the case may be. If you get the job and a BFN then you might want to pause TTC for a few months to ensure that you qualify for FMLA(and also build your reputation a bit before having to have more frequenct appointments, if that applies). Best of luck!
Post # 4
No real advice, just letting you know we are in a similar boat. We aren’t TTC quite yet, even though we are ready, bc I’m also about to switch jobs. We decided to wait until I’m 4-5 months into my new job before trying, so that I will qualify for FMLA (the extra 1-2 mo in case of bed rest or if baby comes early or something).
However, I’m a big believer in “what’s meant to be will happen”, so just because you or I decide to “wait to TTC”, we could end up with a BFP early/accidentally and everything would still work out fine! Good luck on your interview!!
Post # 5
We are in the same boat. We initially planned to wait until we’d been married a whole year before TTC, to give ourselves time to enjoy marriage, even though we have both surprised ourselves with baby fever in recent months… but now we have another reason to wait, which is that we’re both starting new jobs this summer.
It is so hard to put it off once you’re ready, so I feel what you’re feeling. Good luck with your interview, and TTC!
Post # 6
I’m mixed on this. We started TTC just 2 months after I started my new job. I was worried if it happened right away that I wouldn’t be covered and panicked that first month of TTC. Thinking “what if I get pregnant and deliver early!?” But… now onto 10 months of TTC. :/ So you never know what will happen.
Personally, I wanted to have all the coverage possible. It was important to my husband as well. But since it didn’t happen right away for us, I think, why ‘waste’ those precious few months?
I don’t know that I was any help. You’ll just have to decide what is best for you and your husband.
Good luck on the job!
Post # 7
RMBsbride: Can you expand a little? I am not familar with what FMLA states. My husband and I are also about to start TTC and I am considering a job change as well. Are you saying that you need to be at a new job for 3 months BEFORE getting pregnant in order to get a maternity leave?!
Sorry, I did not know anything about this, so now I am getting worried as well!
Post # 8
I personally would wait a few months. There’s not much point in taking the new job if they would just replace you during maternity leave.
Soon_to_be_wed: You need to be with your employer for 12 months before qualifying for FMLA. So if you were pregnant when you got hired, you wouldn’t be covered.
Post # 9
Soon_to_be_wed: Westwood: And, FMLA doesn’t mean you’ll get paid, just that they have to hold your job for 12 weeks. My agency provides some short term disability coverage for part of a mat leave, which you are eligible for after 1 year of employment in addition to FMLA. But even that is not full salary, and only for 6 or 8 weeks (depending on delivery). Lots of women take any leave they are able to take unpaid.
You never know what will happen… I know someone who ended up looking for a job while pregnant, got an offer right before her due date, and started several months later, after her maternity leave. So things can work out. It’s scary to have so many balls in the air, though!
Post # 10
RMBsbride: Since your body is still wonky from coming off the pill and you’re in your 20’s (saw this in a previous thread you made), I would say put TTC on pause for a few months while you figure out what you want to do regarding this potential new job. I agree with Westwood that there isn’t a point in even looking into this opportunity if they’ll replace you while you’re on maternity leave.
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
RMBsbride: I wouldn’t want to lose out on my FMLA so I would pause TTC for now and until about 4 months after taking the new job (if it’s offered) to make sure that I qualify for FMLA. Lose a ffew months of TTC now for the opportunity to have 3 months off to spend with your baby later.
Also if your new job offers short term disability which will pay you during your maternity leave then it usually requires you pay one year’s worth of premiums before qualifying to use it (i.e. your baby would need to be born at least one year after the month you start paying premiums.)
Post # 12
FMLA just means they have to hold your job for 12 weeks, but I can’t imagine and employer hiring someone, putting in the effort of training and all to fire them after 9 months because they had a baby unless they were already looking for an excuse, which they really don’t need. I think FMLA is there to guarentee some proection, but any reasonable place woud allow you the leave with or without the policy. As someone who has been TTC for 1.5 years now, I woudn’t put it off for anything. At worse, I’d deal with finding a new job rather than wait.
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
It’s not just about holding your job for 3 months, it’s also about having 3 months guaranteed off. Some companies not covered by FMLA do not offer maternity leave at all and those that do usually limit it to less than 6 weeks.
Post # 14
Soon_to_be_wed: I think what she means is in order for an employer to HAVE to give you full maternity leave and guarantee a job when you get back you need to be working there for 1 calender year…. so given pregnancy is 9-10 months …. if you were prego right away when you started you’d only have 9-10 months of work at that place (that is if you go to full term and dont have the baby early)…so technically they dont have to take you back and can legally replace you/fire you.
I know here in canada you still get benefits for the year as long as you have enough insurable hours before you go on leave no matter what job, but this is about having a job to go back to. …some places offer shortened mat leave (16 weeks) if you dont have enough time worked etc….
Thats why it’s said you should wait 2-3 months after starting a new job because when you actually HAVE the baby you’ll have been there for a year (2-3 months plus the pregnancy) and theres no issues to getting what your entitled to.
Post # 15
Thank you all for the clarification regarding FMLA! Apparently there are a few things I need to research prior to TTC and starting a new job!