(Closed) TTC Coldfeet

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I haven’t gotten it yet but we aren’t planning to TTC until end of april or may – I had BAD anxiety about a year before our wedding and expect I’ll experience it again with a baby – big life decisions or things where I feel I could experience a significant failure or inability to “escape” from give me anxiety…. Since a child would be forever, I sure can’t escape that so as much as I’ve dreamed of having a baby since I was little girl playing house, I still know it’s a possibility I”ll freak.

We bought baby books this week and one part I read even highlighted that even when you’re actively trying for a baby, it’s actually quite normal to feel paralyzed by anxiety when you get the positive pregnancy test… I think it’s one of those things people just don’t openly talk about much because they’re afraid of being judged.  I think as long as you acknowledge your feelings and just let them exist instead of trying to squash them, it’ll pass in its own time. 

Post # 3
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This is something where you definitely have to take the plunge. No other way to do it. 

 

we started trying last March and I was so freaked! Even though it was planned and agreed on. As it took longer and longer I got more and more ready, and I’m almost glad its been more of a journey because it helped me prepare mentally. Of course, now I just want a baby! But it may take you a few months too, and it really helped me to view it as a process. 

 

The he water is cold, but if you jump right in you’ll swim just fine! ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 4
Member
2160 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I was really freaked out as well, but we’ll be starding our 7th Cycle TTC now and at this point I just want my baby ๐Ÿ™

So I totally sympathize with the nerves, but remember it’s a process, and pregnancy will be a process as well, and you will have plenty of time to get used to it. 

Post # 6
Member
3729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

anonybee0810:  absolutely. My approach was to stop the pill and just do it. We want kids, but change is scary. I had a panic attack about moving, anxiety about adopting our dog, fears of going to college…why would this be any different?

 

It took two cycles and I’m now 5 weeks along. Still scared, but excited scared. It’s normal.

Post # 7
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m six weeks pregnant and still nervous! Kids are a huge, huge commitment and I think some hesitation and axiety is totally normal. All you can do is just go for it!

Post # 8
Member
3729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

anonybee0810:  oh yeah, when I saw the pregnancy test it was my 10th test at 18 days past ovulation. I was about 4 days late. The test was negative, I went for a run, poured a glass of wine, and came up to the shower. A very positive test was sitting there. I freaked out in a “what have I done” kind of way. So did Darling Husband. It has been a week and it doesn’t seem really (other than no wine)– it wasn’t until yesterday when I was talking to my dental hygienist and a day care provider that it seemed real.  So I had another minor freak out.

Post # 9
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I take my very last BCP tonight, and then after the withdrawal bleed it is game on for us. I am TERRIFIED. And we have been planning to start at this time for over two years. I know it is what we want, and I know that we shouldn’t wait any longer (I’m 34) and I know that chances are it could take months.

But it is still totally scary! I was not aware that I would be this nervous. I have been so impatient to start.

Post # 11
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

anonybee0810:  I went through 4 years of fertility treatments and finally BFP–and I still have TTC anxiety LOL 

Having a child is a BIG deal and changes everything about your life–change is scary. You’d be a fool not to feel some anxiety. If you get overwhelmed and/or frozen, than therapy is in order. If you are just having everyday OMG anxiety, then learn techniques to deal with it, either CBT or distraction. 

Good Luck!

Post # 13
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think we’re the same person. I’m all about baby, baby, baby, but when it’s time to take the plunge, I’m all like nope! We’ll wait until this month, because i wanna do that. I also deal with anxiety, and am anxious about everything you could imagine, so I guess this is no different! Darling Husband says he’s ready whenever I’m ready, but I’m afraid I never will be!

Post # 14
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 

anonybee0810:  yes! We TTC for the first time last cycle, and I was so nervous! I felt so silly since we have been talking about it and mentally preparing for some time. Even bought a book of baby names a few months ago. But the fact that this one act could forever change our lives with a child, it freaked me out! DH was sweet and said it was completely up to me – he’s ready when I am. I think it’ll be easier next cycle since the first time is the hardest, right? And I’m kind of glad I got a BFN the first cycle…it’s giving me a little more time to process it all and I’ll be calmer next time, which many have said helps with getting the BFP. 

Post # 15
Member
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’ve also had cold feet for the past year or so.  I’ve kept delaying it month after month, rethinking whether or not to have kids, the whole shebang.  This is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make simply because it’s the only one you can’t undo.  But, having a kid this fall will be just about perfect timing with my career, so this month I just have to suck it up and go for it. (I’m too am kind of hoping it takes a few tries to get pregnant so I can be excited and happy when I see that postitive test and not completely freaked out.)  

I had the same reaction when it came to getting married, too.  That was a little easier though because I knew the person I was marrying.  You can’t ever know your kids until you have them, so you are just blindly jumping into a lifetime commitment.  But, most people like their kids — especially people who had them on purpose after lots of thought.  And, it’s not like I won’t have a hand in shaping their personalities and characters.  So, it will be fine.  Right??

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