(Closed) TTC dilemma

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@guitargirl:  FWIW, my husband is gone at LEAST 3.5 days per week, so this will not change during pregnancy. Tons of my friends have had children with their husbands on the same schedule and it’s fine. It’s the norm for us, like it seems to be the norm for you.

You could potentially schedule all of your OB visits on your half day, so living 1 hr away would be okay.

I also live in a rural area, and often people chose to deliver at a hospital 30 minutes away. When you get close to your due date, you could start maternity leave early and stay at the apartment. I dk. If you both are financially secure and emotionally ready, you will figure out the other things along the way =) GL!

Also, due to retirements/insurance/whatever, several women I know have delivered different children with different OB’s. In a perfect world, they would deliver all of them, but…things change! And it’s fine 😉 A resident usually does the actual delivery anyway these days! haha

Post # 4
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with ChuckNorris. Just out of curiosity, why do you HAVE to have all the doctors near his work? My dad worked for 30 years at a place that was about 90 minutes away from where we lived and our doctors were always in our hometown. I have three kids and I saw the same OB for my oldest two (though he didn’t ACTUALLY deliver either of them. The on call dr. delivered the first and the second delivered herself) and he semi retired (ie. stopped delivering babies) right before I got pg with my youngest. It was no big deal, though I do wish had would have been able to still care for me since his practice was so much smaller than the OBs I went to for my son. I also delivered my youngest when we lived in a rural area where we had a about 25 mins out of town. Not quite 1.5, but when you’re in active labor, it might as well be LOL 

Post # 5
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

1. How hard would it be to be pregnant and “living alone” (but only 3-4 nights a week)? I think you will be fine, my friends have had opposite schedules with their husbands. If your already use to the schedule it shouldn’t be too terrible.

2. How hard would it be to use an OB/hospital that far away?

Are you sure you can’t get one closer? My insurance “in network” goes about an hr away. Also if it is ever an emergency you can always get treated closer without having to pay for out of network

3. If you had a different OB for #2, was it a big deal?

People change doctors all the time I sure it is no big deal

4. What would you do?  I say go for it. You can’t plan everything in life. Somehow couple always make it work once a baby is on the way. You guys seem responsible and financial stable so everything else you can figure out.  Good luck! Join us in the POAS boards once you start trying:)

Post # 6
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think you will be JUST FINE! You should start TTC Now because it may not happen right away or could take a couple years easily. If you start at 35, it could just prolong that timing even more and completely throw you off schedule. 

I know that with TTC you really just never know. It could happen right away irespective of age or it could take a while. Are you willing to take that chance at 35? 

Believe me, I was NOT ready at all. There was always something that I felt needed to be ‘settled’ before we start TTC. But my Darling Husband really wants a child anytime starting now so we are TTCIng now. In my case, I work 1.5 hrs commute (EACH WAY) daily, 5 days a week. And I work on contract so no mat-leave to speak of. But we are doing it because this is more important to us. Jobs will get sorted out one way or other. And we do have the financial capacity (even without mat-leave) to make this happen for us. And I can see that so do you. So I say GO FOR IT NOW! Smile

ETA: I am nearing 32.

Post # 7
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@guitargirl:  I’m 32, and we got pregnant on the first try, no charting or anything else like it.  So, you may not have to plan far in advance to have children. So don’t start trying until you really mean to have a baby.  Having said that, I don’t see why you can’t start now. I was also told in my 20’s that I might have trouble conceiving one day because I had erratic periods and my doctor said I have “slow ovaries”.  So don’t despair just because you are 32!

“living alone”– will not be a problem until the week you go into labor, probably (since you don’t have other children).  I’m in my first trimester and I adore, (adore!) my husband…but my morning sickness has been so bad that I can not stand hot cooked food smells AT ALL, and my poor Darling Husband and I constantly battle about what he is and isn’t allowed to eat at home, because we are currently in a small apartment, and if he cooks anything, I can smell it in every room of our house. So, there are days where he’s trying to brown hamburger meat and I’d LIKE for him to be gone for 2-3 days.  =)  He also tries to ‘help’ by encouraging me to go to the gym, or to eat more vegetables.  And when I’m just trying not to vomit constantly, I would like his “help” a lot more if he wasn’t there at all!  haha  He has a trip to see his parents for a long weekend soon and he was concerned about leaving me alone, but I’m like, “no! go!  really!  I’ll be fine!”. 

“hospital far away”– This one would make me nervous.  I would try to find an OB/hospital halfway to both places, I think.  It’s rare that women give birth within an hour of feeling contractions and knowing they are going into labor, so if you live that far away, you would probably be okay (except I imagine a long car ride while in labor wouldn’t be fun).  And, I am considering changing hospitals from the ones in my city to a super-amazing one with crazy amenities out in the suburbs and it would easily take me an hour to get there (maybe longer in rush hour), but I’m still considering risking it for the awesomeness of the hospital.   It would still worry me, but I might also take the risk to save money.

Good luck whichever you decide!

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