- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine and I feel disappointed.
She lives overseas and has two kids, so we don’t get to talk very often. With her first one, they got pregnant after 7 months, with her having very irregular cycles. After a few months of TTC, she went to her Gyn, but he didn’t take her concerns seriously and just told her to keep trying. Her second kid was an oops when the nuvaring failed.
Last time we were in touch, I had written her an email and mentioned Darling Husband and my first visit to the RE, how I;m glad we’re getting things checked out, and that he said it’s possible I had chemical pregnancies. I thought she, of all people, would understand.
I called her today and after we talked about this and that, she asked me if we had seen the RE again. I said we needed to wait for the new cycle to start. That’s when she started asking if I didn’t think it was too early to see a specialist. Why didn’t I wait a year? It’s normal to take that long. I said, no, the RE thinks something isn’t right. And then she said it. “Well, I think you don’t get pregnant because you’re trying too hard. You just need to not think about it. It really hasn’t been that long. It takes some people years”
I couldn’t believe she would give me the cliche “Relax and it will happen”! She told me she was concerned about me because she thinks I’m obsessed with getting pregnant and I’m trynig to hard. She basically made me sound like I have mental issues. Mind you, this is based on me casually mentioning that we’re not pergnant yet, over the past 9 months, and one email in which I told her about the RE.
Why would she say this if she herself had been in the situation? I was getting upset and she tried to make things better by saying I misunderstood, that she thinks seeing the RE is great, but she is very concerned about me. She basically thinks I’m emotionally unstable. How is this better than “Relax and it will happen”?!
Sorry about the long post, I’m just hurt and confused that one of my best friends, who knows how frustrating TTC can be, would say this to me. Why would she do this? Did she forget what it was like? Do people who graduate from TTC eventually get smug and think it’s ok to say things that annoyed them when they were TTC? I don’t have many people I can talk about this to begin with. And it’s not like this is all I talk about with her. I hardly bring it up at all. Now that I wanted to talk to someone who could understand, I mistakenly thought that would be her. I guess I was wrong.