TTC during pandemic?

posted 1 week ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

We are just starting to TTC #2 and have been thinking about this nonstop.  Our son is turning 2 this summer and we want to get started in case it takes awhile (would love to have kids closeish in age).  I have a lot of friends who are currently pregnant and I’ve been able to follow along with them.  It looks like some things are definitely different (fewer in-person meetings, can’t bring partner to appointments, which sucks for sure, potentially wearing a mask during delivery – seems to differ by hospital).  I think of those as the logistical difficulties.

More heavy in my mind is the actual risk of exposure while pregnant or with a newborn.  I’ve read all the studies I’ve been able to find and it looks like pregnancy does not make women more or less susceptible to getting COVID, and is not linked to more severe outcomes.  It is possible that COVID can impact placental health (a stastically significant amount but outcomes have been ok).  Newborns seem to fare well if they do get COVID, and kids in general seem to do ok, especially kids under 5.

Then I evaluate our lifestyle and pros and cons.  My husband and I both are in positions where we can work from home indefinitely.  We do intend to send our son to daycare starting in the fall, but if there are big outbreaks in daycares this summer we can always switch to different childcare.  We don’t live near family, so social distancing is fairly easy for us.

This all weighs in favor of us starting and filling out our family the way we had planned originally.  We’re not going to be waiting for a vaccine, and if we’re not going to wait for that, no reason to wait longer.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here, and the outcome will be different for each person depending on circumstances, but that’s who I’ve been thinking about it and with all that in mind, we’re ready to start trying this cycle.

Post # 3
Member
992 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

If you look back through the TTC boards, this has been a pretty hot topic of discussion these last few months. A lot of people have changed their minds, one way or another. They started off planning to move forward but are now too nervous, or started off too nervous and came around to deciding to go for it. 

I was in the latter group. Now, we’re just waiting for DH’s latest contract to go through at work, then we’ll go for it. A pandemic isn’t a great time, but we’ll be dealing with this for a long time. At this point, there’s a decent chance anyone TTC this summer/fall will give birth when there’s a vaccine. It’d also be nice to be able to work from home in the early days. 

The thought of no hospital visitors, no DH at appointments (though my practice is allowing it right now), and no real help in the early days is scary. But, I do often wonder, when the pregnant people I know in real life and online insist it’s a terrible idea to get pregnant/everything is terrible, if they’d have decided not to TTC if they could know the future. Would they have REALLY waited what could be 18-24 months? I’m guessing not…

Post # 4
Member
10332 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We are tentatively planning to start TTC in August. We are seeing pretty big spikes in our area right now which is why that plan in still tentative but I’d say it’s more likely than not that we are going to go ahead with our plans. It helps that all my classes (I’m a college instructor) have been moved online for the fall so if I do get pregnant right away I’ll be able to work from home for the first few months.

We’ve agreed the absolute latest we will wait is December. We been together 12 years, married for 4, we are both 30 and are ready for this next step and we aren’t going to put it off indefinitely.

Post # 5
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

View original reply
@dianaj17:  if it makes you feel better, the pregnant people I know IRL are all ok with it and haven’t said they wished they weren’t pregnant during a pandemic, more that they wish there was no pandemic at all!

My area has also been very hard hit.  In March things looked really really scary, but we’ve been closed down for months now, only recently reopened, and the cases are much lower now and treatment seems to have improved.

It’s a really hard decision and I am going with what my gut feels is the right call for us, which is TTC, but I also can completely understand it coming out the other way for a lot of people.

Post # 7
Member
992 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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@stephy1872:  I 10000% worry that our friends and family will judge us and think we’re insane. I wish I could say I didn’t care, but I do. Not enough to not go for it, but enough to know I’ll feel a little weird announcing if we’re successful before this all ends…

Post # 8
Member
1905 posts
Buzzing bee

Speaking as someone who is currently 12 weeks pregnant, I say go for it. Realistically, it’s not uncommon for perfectly healthy couples to take up ot a year to conceive. My current pregnancy happened after 18+ months of NTNP. And my son before this took almost a year. If you’re ready, you’re ready. You really don’t know who long it will take so planning the “perfect” time isn’t possible. 

Post # 10
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

We started TTC right after our wedding this past November and due to my age, 36, we never considered delaying TTC. I am glad we didn’t wait because I am now 9 weeks pregnant! 

It’s been a bummer that my DH hasn’t been able to come with me to certain appointments. But he will be able to be there for our 12 week and 20 week scans. I am in a heavily hit area as well. The only bonus about being due in January and most likely a second wave of covid is it will only be my DH and I in the delivery room which is exactly how we want it 🙂 

At 28 I would think that you have time to wait but with that said and like other PP have mentioned, you just never know how long it’s going to take. 

Post # 11
Hostess
4128 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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@dianaj17:  I agree, we started as no way, have to postpone and are now tentatively planning to TTC in September.  Two of my friends gave birth since COVID (and I’m in a hard hit area) and had pretty good experiences.  We don’t really expect to have family help anyway, so unless research emerges that changes our mind, we’re pretty set on TTC in the fall.  

Post # 12
Member
3005 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

I had a baby 8 weeks ago so there are some things that are worth considering. Not saying there’s a right or wrong answer, just things to keep in mind.

The medical side of things might be very different. My last ultrasound appointment my husband couldn’t go to. A lot of women aren’t expected to have as many prenatal appts bc of COVID and a lot of practices are not allowing any guests with you. I can’t imagine how hard the first ultrasound would have been without my husband. 

During delivery, it was kind of hard because all of the medical personnel had masks so it made it harder to hear/understand and honestly just connect with the nurses. I had to wear a mask the whole delivery process which at first was terrible but you get used to it. I even pushed my baby out with an oxygen mask and then a cloth mask on top of that! They also didn’t take the babies to the nursery unless needed so we got no break in the hospital and had to sleep in 45 min increments. I think I got maybe 6 hrs sleep total in the 3 days we were at the hospital. 

Having a baby at home during COVID isn’t that bad. Most likely you’d be just hanging out at home anyways. Personally, me and my husband did just fine without any help around the house and my husband had to go back to work after 3 days home. BUT it was really hard having the baby at home just the three of us. We wish that family could have seen him. 

Now two months later we still haven’t had family visit him. Honestly that’s the worst part. Our baby is the first grandchild on both sides and he has yet to meet his grandparents. It’s really hard. But I’m not going to make them wait until there’s a vaccine to visit so most likely by August we will allow the grandparents to visit. 

It’s also a little depressing on things I’m missing out as a new stay at home mom on maternity leave. I can’t take him to visit my friends with babies, take him out to lunch, or do shopping trips with him. I have been home with no outside contact since mid March. I can’t imagine how any moms that have post partum depression feel! 

Overall none of these things are deal breakers but they are worth considering. It’s also possible by the time you give birth these things won’t be an issue. Or it might take you a while to get pregnant and then there might be a vaccine and everything will be fine. I agree with the PP who said that most women who have gone through this virus pregnant/had baby don’t regret being pregnant through it. They just regret the virus even happening. 

Hope that makes sense! 

Post # 13
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Currently 19 weeks pregnant and while we had been trying pre-pandemic, I don’t think it would have stopped us or slowed us down. To start with, it doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere anytime soon and I wasn’t prepared to wait a year or more until things were 95% safe-ish. Especially with the way a lot of people have just given up on safety measures and the numbers are increasing from the first wave, I just wouldn’t want to wait that out.

It actually hasn’t been bad for us. Yes, it would have been nice to have Dh there for my appointments but he got to see the first ultrasound through video chat and I just fill him in on the other in person appointments. So I’m not overly stressed or sad about that. The plus side is that he’s there for all the telemedicine calls, and I’ve spent my entire pregnancy working from home which has been an absolute dream. 

We had a no visitor policy already agreed on as far as the delivery so that’s not at all different from our original plans. The only thing at issue will be people wanting to meet baby and is deciding when that will happen. Feelings will be hurt, but honestly other people’s feelings are irrelevant when it comes to the health and safety of my baby. They’ll get over it.

Post # 15
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

View original reply
@stephy1872:  I thought my Mother-In-Law for sure was gonna have something to say before we told her. She even posted something on social media about worrying about pregnant ladies during the panademic the day before we told family, ha! But when we told her, she was all hugs and excited. Honestly, no one has said anything about our timing. My husband doesn’t like that people will assume I got pregnant because we are working from home together because we were trying anyways. But I don’t care about that, people think what people think. 

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