So many thoughts about this, sorry it’s so long! My state went into lockdown the night after I had my 20 week scan, so half of my pregnancy was pre-COVID (though it was in the news and on everyone’s radar for a few weeks) and half has been after.
In terms of medical care, I definitely enjoyed having my husband at my early appointments. This is my first pregnancy so it was nice to have him by my side for those. We then did the 24 week appointment by phone, and I’ve been into the office for 28 and 32 by myself. For those two it was okay being alone. They were quick appointments to measure and ask questions. We’ll see if I feel the same next week after my 36 week, but so far so good.
We are doing a birth class through our hospital online, which has pluses and minuses. It’s nice to be able to take it from the comfort of our couch, but obviously would be nice to get to know other couples, do an in person tour of the hospital, and be face to face with our instructor, not over video. Our hospital is relaxing restrictions a little bit, hoping that trend continues. Previously the support person was not able to come and go from the hospital. Now, this person is able to run home for clothes if something was forgotten or to care for an animal and return, etc. Praying by the time I deliver we are allowed at least one visitor, because I always looked forward to the traditional experience of family and close friends visiting at the hospital. If at least my mom isn’t able to visit I will be very sad.
In terms of risk, I think it’s important to know that those on Wedding Bee seems to be more cautious, or at least those who speak out regularly are. My practice is one where I see a different doctor for every appointment, and I’ve asked each doctor how concerned I need to be and what kind of precautions to take, and they are pretty relaxed. Obviously I should wear a mask and staying home is ideal, but I was told I would be fine to go to work with a mask. I have a friend who is pregnant and works in a hospital and she has continued to work there, as do women across the country. Some people just don’t have the luxury of staying home, and none of the doctors I spoke to or that my friend has encountered have been nearly as worried as many of the commenters here have been.
Same goes with infant health. We have been interviewing pediatricians via phone and I’ve asked each one how cautious we need to be after the birth. They have said that it’s a good idea to keep the baby’s circle small anyway, but visitors are okay and mom and dad mantaining sanity with some grandparent help is also important.
Regarding your questions about missing out:
1) Mentioned the online classes above, but while unfortunate to not meet other couples, not being able to meet in person wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me. There is another woman who has the same due date as me and I might see if she wants to exchange numbers so we can keep in touch, especially if we may end up being in the hospital at the same time. Would be nice to make one mom friend from the class.
2) Our Babymoon to Europe was cancelled, which was disappointing. I was especially looking forward to it as I will be mourning the loss of my care-free, travel-filled life. But, we’ve made the best of it. We are planning a getaway next April or May to somewhere even more exciting. We’re also going to go to a resort a few hours away for a couple of days later this month to visit the spa, relax at the pool, and enjoy some time away together.
3) The excitement. This is an intersting one. By the time we went into lockdown, we had already had the chance to announce to all of our close people, many in person, which was nice. I really didn’t think I was missing out on much by not seeing people, but last week I ran in to a friend who made a huge deal about how cute I looked, how excited she is, etc. and I realized I have missed out on that, seeing other people get excited and be so kind. Really not a big deal and I’d been fine without it, but my pregnancy has been pretty quiet and low key with close friends checking in on me but largely I haven’t had the coworkers, family friends, or our friends very involved, as is kind of stereotypical/I’ve seen others experience. If things were normal, they definitely would have been.
4) The shower is actually one area where I think things worked in my favor. I don’t mind attention on an individual or small group basis, but I was not looking forward to a shower with lots of people and having to balance socializing with people from so many different areas of my life: coworkers, my friends, my family, and my mom’s friends. We are now doing a drive-by shower where I will get to see people from a distance and for a short amount of time but not for hours. We will eventually do a large party and get everyone together, whether it’s a sip and see, baptism, or 1 year birthday party. But then the baby will be the center of attention.
It’s definitely hard to know what to do, but I just don’t see any of the drawbacks as outweighing being ready to start your family.