(Closed) TTC during specific timeframe…advice needed

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
4029 posts
Honey bee

Meant2Bee :  Hello there! I am also someone who has thought about this since I run an organization and the worst time of year is the summer.

Lots of people will have opinions about trying to time your pregnancy/birth. I will not give an opinion. 

I will simply say, in advance, learn about your cycles and how fertility works as much as possible. So, I would suggest understanding that it takes a healthy couple up to a year to get pregnant, so be comfortable with having to adjust as you go. Also know that there are ways to improve your chances of getting pregnant by:

  • Purchase Taking Charge of Your Fertility or The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant
  • If you are comfortable, get off birth control early (use another protection method) and start tracking your cycles (either by temping or ovulation predictors)
  • Take a prenatal vitamin before you start TTC 

Best of luck OP!

Post # 4
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Meant2Bee :  Don’t feel bad about planning around your career. That’s why it’s called family planning. I am a Project Manager and right now I’m managing 9 different projects alone. I was in the same position, trying to time out pregnancy and leave and eventually I just had to say “oh well, it’ll work itself out because it has to”. I teleworked all the way up to giving birth to Dear Daughter (like sending emails while my contractions were 11 minues apart lol). I would start about a month before your true window just in case you have a work out a few kinks like identifying your ovulation date, fertile window, etc. For me, I was lucky with Dear Daughter. We tried one time during one cycle and I got pregnant with no complications. She arrived 2 days later than her due date. This time around, we are struggling. We’ve had 2 losses since 2015. So we’ve been trying on and off for baby #2 for over a year. You just don’t know what you might run up against. Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
9811 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Meant2Bee :  I wouldn’t TTC sooner than you want to be pregnant since it only takes one time to get pregnant.  I got pregnant with both of mine quickly.  But if you want to be prepared and go in 100%, it would be a good idea to temp or chart so you know when you ovulate.  Then you can just hit it hard for a week and relax.  The majority of people get pregnant by 6months (like 75%) so hopefully you’ll be just fine.

Although, I’m not sure why you would TTC in May, you’re looking at a february/early march due date then. You should probably be looking at TTC the beginning of July or very end of June.

Post # 7
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think there isn’t that much of a difference between planning for a child at a certain time of your life, and at a certain time of the year (for work reason or otherwise). Of course, life doesn’t always goes as planned but if you chose to interupt TTC for a couple of months, that’s nobody’s business but your own! I didn’t want a winter baby (we have blizzards and I was afraid of having to drive to the hospital in a snow storm and being cooped up with a newborn for months), so I would have interrupted TTC to avoid the dead of the winter months if it had come to that. You might change your mind on the matter too, if TTC takes longer than planned and you’d rather put all chances on your side for example, and that’s ok too!

Post # 8
Member
7900 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Meant2Bee :  I don’t think there is anything wrong with trying to plan around your career, just as long as you keep in mind that things don’t always work as planned. If you don’t get pregnant right away, and want to have to take several months off of trying each year, it may just take you longer to (a) get help if needed and (b) actually get pregnant. 

Post # 9
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Meant2Bee :  I agree with a PP. Why are you starting in May if that lines up with the time period you for sure don’t want to have a baby? 

This site (and the stats) can be deceiving. 75% of the people I know got pregnant on the first try including myself. You need to be ready because you truly don’t know how it will go for you.

Post # 10
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Meant2Bee :  My husband has “planned” our pregnancy around session also (I think we commented on that before). When session is over in June he’ll have comp time and wants to be there for both me and the baby.

This is our first month trying because even though it might take a few months, if you’re actively making the decision to try, don’t start because you’re concerned, be fully prepared to let it happen right away. Our biggest risk if I get pregnant this month would be if I ended up having the baby a few weeks early.

Oddly enough, I know a few couples that decided to try early because they figured it would take a few months… they’re always the ones who seem to get pregnant on the first or 2nd month.

TaurianDoll :  Also a project manager here… Luckily I already work from home and working until I deliver will be easy. Hardest part is I have no idea what will be on my plate 9 months from now. Some of my projects are long term, one will wrap up end of this year, and I have a customer that does a lot of little projects (I have 10 active projects with them alone) and I only know of stuff a few months out. However, my boss is also my mentor and was a friend before she was promoted. I was in town and had lunch with her last week and she was upset I wasn’t already pregnant… It’s really comforting to know it won’t be something looked at negatively,

Post # 11
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Meant2Bee :  I don’t have any advice on making your TTC decisions based around your career, but wanted to let you know to check your math again. We conceived in May and are due in end of January. So if you start trying in May, you’ll be due right in your busiest time. So like PP have said, your better off waiting until June or July to TTC, because you may be one of the ones that are lucky the first month 

Post # 12
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

TXbride2015 :  I think most people know and accept it as a part of life. You won’t be pregnant forever, and out of the grand scheme of things, it’s a blip in the timeline of your career. Also, it’s not like you can’t work while pregnant lol That was something I couldn’t wrap my head around with my first. I kept blocking out 10 months for everything we thought about planning which was silly. You can still function for the most part. You won’t always feel great, but you deal with it and move at your own pace. I think pregnancy forces you to slow down and acknowledge your limits, but still continue to move forward. Just a part of life. 

Post # 13
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Meant2Bee :  I think you’re doing fine and you’re definitely doing the right thing. This is just the beginning. Once your little bean is here (FX!) you will continue to question and plan everything. “Should we move right now? Kids are about to start school. Is this a good time to switch jobs? Kids will need money for summer camp soon. How will it affect health insurance?” That’s life. One big ol’ planning session with ice cream and fun sprinkled in between 🙂

Post # 14
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

TaurianDoll :  Thanks, but I think you might have misunderstood what I was saying. I never said anything about not working while pregnant or needing to block out all this time, just that I’m pretty lucky I already work from home, so it should be pretty easy to do all the way until I deliver. 

I know it’s a blip in the long tern. Regardless, there are still plenty of employers and co-workers out there who see pregnancy and motherhood as something that limits women in the workplace. Aside from pregnancy and then 2-3 months maternity leave, women are usually the ones who stay home with sick kids, have to leave early to take them to doctor appointments, etc.

As someone who’s excelling in their career right now and taking big steps forward, some employers could easily see this as a road block.  I feel very lucky that I don’t have to worry about pregnancy or motherhood being a road block for me, but since my work load revolves around my current projects and are based on what the sales team brings in, and I don’t have the luxury of knowing how busy I could be even 2 months for now. With a husband who works in the same field as the OP, I totally understand the concern and we’re planning our pregnancy around HIS job because mine has more flexibility and uncertainty that would be impossible to plan around. 

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Meant2Bee :  This is hard to predict – you really just won’t know how long it will take!  Even if you do everything perfectly right in a given cycle, there’s still only a 20% chance you will get pregnant.  

Have you done a pre-conception checkup with your obgyn?  That might be a good first step to make sure there are no issues to be aware of, which could affect your timeline.  I completely understand the need to wait due to work and finances but do know that pregnancy is going to happen when it’s going to happen.  People make it work every day even in the most unideal situations, so in case you get pregnant ahead of your deadline, or much later, just know you can figure it out as you go.  The joys of parenthood! You never know what will happen! 🙂 If getting pregnant anytime between now and your desired time line is 100% out of the question, I suggest waiting – better to be late than early with this? Just as long as you’re ok with knowing it might not happen on the first try.  

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