(Closed) TTC-ers, where does a baby fit in your life? What's your plan?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@MrsRugbee:   My husband and I are both active duty enlisted in the Navy. We’re trying for our first born now, while I have 2 years left in my contract.  We’re also getting into the home market at the end of this year, once he’s back from his deployment.  The reason for our timing is so we can get a full feel of what to expect,  financially at least,  when I get out. When I get my bfp,  my mil and my bil’s will come stay with us; when I have the baby I’ll only get 6 weeks off and my husband will get 10 days, so we’ll need her there for full time care until I get out the Navy. Once I get out, ill be a Stay-At-Home Mom for at least 3 years and attend school online.  We want 4 children, tops before I’m 30, and im 23 now so we’re getting the ball rolling now!

Post # 4
Member
2202 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I hope you don’t mind me adding our story, I figure of nothing else you might like to know a bit more about us.

 


 

So who are you? good question! Who are we. Well I am an artist lover of all things antique. Me and Darling Husband have been together for 7 years, we met st a coffee shop. Our house has more guitars & paintbrushes and art supplies than most homes I would imagine. Darling Husband is a musician and owns 11 guitars…. Uh …. Yup. (Thankfully he has a studio which he keeps most of them at)

 

What do you (and your SO) do?it will come as no surprise given the above info that I work at a home decore & antiquities shop downtown. On the side I do commissioned art work. Darling Husband works out of town (hence the long distance) at a diamond mine.

 

Where does TTC fit in terms of weddings, family, work, life, etc? hopefully it’s okay for me to answer this. TTC was a big ‘unknown’ for us. When I was diagnosed with my auto immune disease at age 12 I was prepubescent and the dr.s didn’t know what that would mean for me having children. we’re married, and just bought a house, and currently pregnant. We talked at length about what would happen if we couldn’t get pregnant. So many I will talk about that instead. Our plan was such: enjoy life, fall in love with each other all over again, no extra medical help to try and have a family -IVF- (not knocking anyone who’s done it just not for us) I had planned on buying a horse again and becoming a full time artist. Darling Husband wanted to travel and play music more, see more concerts all over the world. 

 

What are your plans once your baby is here? plans? Well I guess we will continue doing what were doing, I want to run a day home while our kids are younger, then as they get older focus on my art again. Darling Husband plans on staying at the mine, he loves his Job & his co workers & bosses admire his work ethics. i am terrified he will miss the birth & I will have to do I without him. Also scared of the 2 weeks in 2 weeks home work schedule with a new born. But I have faith we will be okay. 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Edit to conform to answer structure!

So who are you? What do you (and your SO) do? I’m a veterinarian and just landed my dream job. Darling Husband starts grad school in August. We’ve been together 2 years and married 7 months. We’ve been living apart for the past 4 months while I started my new job and Darling Husband finished undergrad across the country. It’s been torture! He moves here for good in 19 days!!!!

Where does TTC fit in terms of weddings, family, work, life, etc?  We’re both over 30 and want 3 kids, so it’s time to get started! Plus, we’ve just bought a great house in our ideal neighborhood with some of the best schools in the state, so the time is right! 

What are your plans once your baby is here? I’m the bread winner, so no Stay-At-Home Mom for me – I get 6 weeks mat leave (unpaid – stupid USA!!!), and Darling Husband will take some lighter semesters and prolong his degree another year if needed so he can be home more. I found an amazing child care/education center that we’ll use. So excited! 

 

Post # 6
Member
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Neat idea.

So who are you? What do you (and your SO) do? Who I am is realy wrapped up w/ what I do..I work as a therapist in a women’s prison doing addiction/mental health counseling.  FI and I have been together for 1 1/2 years, which isn’t very long.  I meet him through his sister and we were LD for 8 months flying back and forth for a while, until I decided to move to the midwest from Portland, OR almost a year ago.  He works in IT.  I am 30 he is almost 27.  I don’t have many hobbies (explains all my posts!) but he does; BMW motorcycles, computer stuff, MAC computers, random angry German music and wanting to move to Germany (not happening.)  We talk about moving often and were considering moving overseas until his parents practically gave us their home here in MI- it’s in a quaint little town with a lot of kids and across from the local school 10 mins from our jobs, so we are here for a while.  I also need 2 years more of work to get licensed.  

Where does TTC fit in terms of weddings, family, work, life, etc? We are getting married in 5 weeks, small elopement just us 2 and then going to Toronto to take some wedding photos and do some sight-seeing since I have never been.  

What are your plans once your baby is here? This will be our first (I hope for a 2nd later on.) Since we both work FT, I have started a side business doing somewhat of a therapy group on line- it will be up and running come June and I have 40+ people on the wait list….really hoping that takes off so I can quit my “real” job by the time the future baby is here some time next year.  I plan on at least taking off 12 weeks to be home w/ the infant but if the side thing takes off I can work from home 10 hours a week/have a nanny PT and make the same $ I make now.  Fingers X.  If I have to work my stressful job and have a baby I will be instantly grey-haired and hope to be able to afford just working PT or having FI’s mom who was a nanny for 20 yrs watch the wee one for a smaller fee than childcare.

Post # 7
Member
1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

So who are you?

We are the D’s! We have been married for almost 6 months, and have (finally) happily settled into our brand spanking new home. We are both super active/health minded. We are both runners and cross fitters! I hold a bachelors degree in English literature/ linguistics and Darling Husband is studying to be an accountant.

What do you (and your SO) do?

I am a manager at a specialty running store. It doesn’t bring in much money, but really love what I do! It is really nice to be able to help people reach their fitness goals whether they are an ultra marathoner or just joined couch to 5k!

Darling Husband is the COO of a company he and his father started together. The company was sold last year but he retained his position. He also works in government contracting for the military all while taking classes part time. He is a busy busy man!

Where does TTC fit in terms of weddings, family, work, life, etc?

Right now it is pretty much at the forefront for us! We can’t wait to start trying (June), even though the huge change in lifestyle are a bit scary!
 
What are your plans once your baby is here?

I will be a Stay-At-Home Mom and the hubster will try to cut back on work travel. We are surrounded by family so we are hoping to have grandmas watch the bub so I can still get in a daily workout (if I have ANY energy)!
 
sorry if there are crazy typos! I’m typing this on my new iPad mini that JUST came out of the box!
 
 

Post # 9
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MrsRugbee:  Electrical engineering – he’s a smartypants! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@MrsRugbee:  yep.  The good thing is that once you have a baby, you are part of a non deploying unit for up to 1 year. If I get pregnant via my first iui in June,  by the time my year postpartum is up ill be a veteran! 

Post # 11
Member
2202 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MrsRugbee:  I feel like I have friends on the TTC boards. It’s hard for me to leave. i will probably become the biggest TTC lurker…. ๐Ÿ™‚ plus the pregnancy boards are scary! 

Post # 12
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

not trying to conceive yet, but just like the rest of my life, its been planned to a T (god forbid it doesn’t happen as i plan… I don’t know what I’ll do if we have trouble conceiving…)

So who are you? 24 year old female(FI is 27). We’re about a year away from our beautiful wedding. We’ve been together 10 years (he is my high school sweetheart, prom date, college love and my forever love!) We’re from the same area in southwestern ontario. I am from the upper middle class suburbs, while he grew up in the more working class inner city area. 

What do you (and your SO) do? I’m a second year medical student in Ireland (from canada). Fiance is general labourer with a general contracting firm in Canada, but he’s looking for a better job (with better pay and benefits). He’s also a native american, so in canada he gets some basic health care which our children will inherit (sadly I won’t as I am white). They will also have the potential to have their post secondary education covered because of his ancestry (which is a great relief to me being well over 6 figures in debt with 2 more years to go… I might get it payed off by the time my kids are ready for college!) 

Where does TTC fit in terms of weddings, family, work, life, etc? If everything works out the way I’ve planned it’ll happen about 5 months into my residency (in about 2 and half years.. a year and a half after our wedding, give or take a few months…). This would allow me to take a proper maternity leave during my residency, but be able to have a while to get the feel of the residency, and enjoy it before the “fun” of pregnancy begins. The reason for this is, depending on the residency, I may not have to make up the time so I would still be fully licensed in the same amount of time whether I take a maternity leave or not. It would also have minimal effect on our net income as I would be making very little during that time compared to when I am fully licensed.

What are your plans once your baby is here?
If i’m lucky and get prengnant during my residency, I’ll take a proper maternity leave for at least 8 weeks (depending on where i’m placed I realize that I may not be able to get the cushy 1 year I would get if I returned to ontario…). Fiance is hoping he can get a paternity leave too, so we may have to split it lol. Once we both get back to work I’m hoping I can have family nearby to help, but I’ll be realistic, and am completely open to having a nice, old, and unattractive nanny during the day (not a live in…) until the baby is old enough for daycare.


Any children not conceived during residency will probably get a minimal maternity leave and more of a paternity leave, as we will most likely be most dependent on my income and so it would make most sense for me to work at least partially while Fiance takes care of the little ones. In FI’s dream world he would be a stay at home dad, but unless he starts lactating and cleaning up after himself, he’s dreaming! I can just imagine coming home from a hard day at work to a messy house, screaming naked kids and hubby sitting on the couch in his own filth playing COD4… no thanks!

Post # 13
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m not TTC but I am TTA (Trying to Adopt), so I thought I’d add in my story. I don’t post much on the TTC boards, but I do follow a lot of the stories.

 

 

 

So who are you? 

 

I’m 29 year old mother of 1, engaged to be married to my Fiance in two months!! We have a beautiful 7 year old boy, and he is seriously the light of our lives. We both wanted to have two kids, but due to unexpected complications, I’m not easily able to carry a baby to term. I was very lucky to be able to carry our boy with no issues. we tred multiple times to have another baby, but it just kept ending painfully, so we decided to stop TTC. 

 

What do you (and your SO) do?

 


I work for a very large credit card company, managing their internal information system. I am SO fortunate because I get to work from home. I make a fairly decent living, and I have great benefits and a great retirement plan. I also moonlight as a baker and cake maker. Ive made the wedding cakes (or cupcakes, or cake pops) for the last 6 weddings ive been invited to.

 

My Fiance is the VP of a mid-size company that makes custom BMW parts/accessories. He makes a very decent living. Fiance also has his own side business Making and selling custom board games/game peices/accessories/etc. He also volunteers for our local regiment, and he is the  communications coordinator for them. He’s very busy.

 

Where does TTC fit in terms of weddings, family, work, life, etc?

 


We made the decision to stop TTC several years ago, and made the decision to adopt about 1 year ago. We are hoping to adopt a relatively healthy 1-6 year old girl. We submitted all of our final paperwork in January of this year, and right now all we can do is wait. We are doing a public domestic adoption, which means that the costs are very low/non-existent, but the wait is long (the wait is usually long no matter what). We will probsbly have to wait a year to a year and a half until we can do the training/homestudy that is needed before you can be matched with a child.

 

Because we not looking for a newborn baby, that might shorten our wait time. However, because we are hoping for a girl who is relatively healthy, that might lengthen our wait time, so you never know. We don’t anticipate having a child in our home before 3 years.

 

Because the wait is so long, and right now there’s nothing we can really do besides wait, it’s not affecting our lives in anyway, we just carry on with our little family of three for the time being.

 


 

What are your plans once your baby is here?

 


Im going to love the crap out of that kid!! Lol!

 

in all seriousness, adopting is hard. It’s hard in everyone involved, and there will be a big adjustment period. How we all adjust will depend on the age of the child we bring home. I will get a year off paid from my job as maternity leave, which is SO wonderful, because it’ll give me a chance to bond 1-1 with my new baby girl. Our first year will probsbly be spent getting to know eachother, teaching her our rules, helping her to adjust to us, probably therapy for her or all of us, introducing her to the rest of our families, etc. Actually I’m tearing up here thinking about her being here, and having our family be complete. My son wants a sibling so bad, and Fiance and I want a daughter so bad! This child is so loved already, and we don’t even know her yet.

 

Post # 14
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I hope its alright if I post here too, even though we’re not TTC just yet!

So who are you? What do you (and your SO) do? I suppose Darling Husband and I were highschool sweethearts; I had just started my senior year, but Darling Husband had graduated early and was in his first year of college.  We always knew we wanted to get married, but we decided to wait until college was over…. then Darling Husband added law school to the mix… which he finished last year, so we just got married 2 months ago, at 27 and 26!  We’re going to celebrate our 10th dating anniversary this December.

I’m an artist.  I sell jewelry online and at a few arts & crafts shows, and last year started a part-time contract to do some graphics work at the software company Darling Husband works for.  It was only for 5 months, but the boss said he’d have more work for me later this year, and I’ve got the jewelry sales to keep me busy in the meantime.

Darling Husband is the IT guy at the software company.  It was his pre-law school job, and now that he’s back he’s helping with some intellectual property/contract stuff there as well, but he really wants a “real” law job.  Unfortunately, the law market is…. terrible.  None of his law school friends have jobs, almost a year after graduation.  And they were all top 20% in the class.

Where does TTC fit in  terms of weddings, family, work, life, etc? Darling Husband would really like to land some kind of “real” law job before we TTC.  He’s been working on that for just over a year now…

We’d also like to buy a house and pay off the last of my student loans, but we have enough in our savings to do both as soon as he gets a job.  We’re waiting on the house because he’s applying litterally everywhere, so we don’t know where we’ll end up.  We originally wanted to wait until we put a downpayment on a house before using the rest to nuke my loans, but we might just do that first now, since its taking so long.

When I was working, I put 50% of my paychecks towards my loans and 50% into savings, so we don’t rely on my income at all.

What are your plans once your baby  is here? We’d both like to have a SAHP until our future-theoretical kids are all in school, and with the way things are turning out, it’ll probably be me.  Both my jewelry sales and graphics work could be done from home, if we needed the extra income or if I want to start working again.

Post # 15
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ll play ๐Ÿ™‚ it’s so interesting to see everyone’s different paths!

So who are you? What do you (and your SO) do? I’m a hair stylist at a popular salon in the little beach town where we both grew up. Darling Husband is a project manager for a real estate investment company. We have both settled into our careers, and enjoy our jobs. 

Where does TTC fit in terms of weddings, family, work, life, etc?  We have been together for almost 8 years and married for a year and a half. We just bought our first home in September, and those empty bedrooms are asking to be occupied! We’ve also always wanted to have our kids relatively close to when our friends are having theirs. Some really close friends are due with their first in July, and my Brother-In-Law and his wife are expecting our niece or nephew in October!  But overall, we just feel like its the right time for us. In the meantime, we have a couple trips planned, and are really working on paying down our debt. 

What are your plans once your baby is here? I’m self employed, so unfortunately my “maternity leave” will be pretty short. Probably 6-8 weeks. This is what my husband is most worried about. I don’t make any money when I’m not at work, and I still have to pay for my station (I rent my space) so any time off is very tough financially. The plus side is that I will only come back to work part time. I’m hoping to take 8 weeks off, and come back two days a week for another 8 weeks and then ultimately work 3 days a week. We will only need child care two days after that (I’ll work Saturday when Darling Husband will be home) and we have friends that have an amazing at home day care. I feel pretty lucky that I will be able to be home with our kids, at least part of the time!

Post # 16
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

So who are you? We are the HaubLlos (our fun combination of our last names that we use to refer to ourselves)! I am 29 and my Darling Husband is 33. We met online and have been together for 2 and a half years, married for just under 2 months! We bought a house last summer and have 2 dogs. We love sports, traveling and the Beatles! I love to bake and my Darling Husband loves his sports video games. I am hoping to put a garden in this year if we ever get a summer here on the Prairies! 

 

What do you (and your SO) do? I am a physical therapist and I work in private practice. I love my job and am so happy with the clinic I work in! My Darling Husband just started his dream job working as a sales agent for a lighting supply company. Apparently its going to mean lots of travelling around the southern part of our province but so far he’s been home. 

 

Where does TTC fit in  terms of weddings, family, work, life, etc? We both just feel like its time. My Darling Husband has 3 siblings all who have kids and we’d really like our kids to have cousins of similar age! 

 

I carry a lot of student debt but am working really hard at paying off as much as possible as soon as possible!

 

What are your plans once your baby  is here? We are so lucky to live in Canada where I can be off work for a year. In my job its really hard to be away any more than a year because of the changes in practice and new education changing so often. I will most likely take the full year but my Darling Husband may take some time as well… we’ll see!

 


 

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