Post # 1
I stumbled on to this site when I was getting ready to get married in April 2012. Now my husband and I are actively trying to have a baby – and it’s not working. I suddenly remembered there was a board dedicated to those of us ttc and thought I’d pop in and see what support I can get here.
Basically I need to vent. My husband and I just made our fourth attempt to concieve (I know this is fairly early in the game…but it’s upsetting nonetheless). While it’s too early for me to test, I just have this sinking feeling that nothing is different – that it didn’t work.
I’m probably letting my emotions get the best of me…but I’m sort of really distressed and disappointed that we didn’t just get pregnant! I mean…we’re happy, it’s the right time, we’re getting OLD…let’s go already! Ugh. I just didn’t realize how difficult this might be for us. And I think I’m probably a little over sensative right now because my Mom and a good friend of mine just told me how they concieved on their third time. For us, that didn’t happen.
I’m putting off going to the doctor, mostly because I’m scared they might tell me it’s hopeless. I have been off the pill for over a year. I have very regular periods…no issues there. I have taken ovulation tests the last two months and have received positive tests – so I know I’m “working”…but no baby.
For anyone in a similar boat – did you ever start to question the quality of your husband’s sperm? It’s something that’s been weighing on my mind. And does anyone have any tips on the BEST time to have sex? I’ve recently read that you should be having sex BEFORE you get a postive ovulation test back…
There is so much information out there on this topic…and some of it flat-out refutes the thing I read the day before.
Post # 3
@Merelton: I started charting and temping.. Once I saw that typically O’d on cd17 it was game on lol from cd13-cd24 we made sure we had sex once a day and we alternated positions, him on top and from behind. I would then lay there for about 30 minutes before id get up. It felt really good to be in control (as much as we could be) We also prayed together about getting pregnant. That month we got pregnant! Don’t get too discouraged! It’s only been four months (which I know can feel like forever) I would give it two more really good tries before going to the dr! Good luck
Post # 4
@Merelton: Hi! and I am sorry to hear your frustrations. I have been there for over a year and I will tell you that the ladies in the TTC board are the most helpful and more caring ladies you will ever meet. First, you are not alone. I felt the same way just after my second failed cycle. I did everything I was told to do, I took my temperature, I used OPKs, I DTD EOD and I still didnt get results. However, many ladies here have gotten their BFPs just when they thought they reached the end of their rope. If you dont want to be tested yet, that’s totally fine and totally up to you, however, i suggest that you consider to get to this point after a certain cycles and you talk to your Darling Husband about it. If you think its him, then find the right way to approach this to him. It might not be easy for him to understand, but he might also be on board and go for testings. After all, men testing are much easier than ours. I got my BFP after 3 cycles of IUI and after 13 cycles. Dont give up. There is always a way, lady, and i am sure your BFP is around the corner. GL and if you ever need to talk, feel free to contact me (PM me) 🙂
Post # 5
@Merelton: Try to keep heart! I know it’s hard. Both times for me it took more than 6 months…and nothing was wrong with either of us.
Post # 6
@Merelton: If you haven’t already done charting, I suggest you give that a try for a few cycles before you give up completely or question your husband’s sperm quality.
If you have tried charting and temping, then you should talkto your doctor. Perhaps you don’t have a long enough luetal phase or something. Or perhaps it could be your husband, but I would jump those hurdles after you have tried charting and temping. I would also use OPKs so you know when you ovulate. You could be ovulating later or earlier than you think.
Post # 7
I agree that you should try charting. It’s an amazing way to get to know what is going on with your body as well. Go on Fertility Friend, take all the courses they offer to get the hang of everything, and get to know your body and the signs it gives that ovulation is approaching.
The journey of TTC is crazy and scary and unknown…and just thinking about the possibility of infertility is terrifying. Try not to focus on that. You haven’t been trying as long as so many other couples, and your BFP could be right around the corner! Good Luck!
Post # 8
@Merelton: welcome to the roller coaster! Its been 5 months for us – but only 4 cycles for us (long cycles grrrr). I starting taking ovulation predictor tests last cycle and started charting this month. Charting my BBT calms me…I like seeing how my body is working. Anyway – good luck and hang in there! Join the TTC boards – especially the POAS board for the month, then you can post all the crazy symptom spotting you are doing and emotions you are feeling with people who are on the same roller coaster!
Post # 9
I’m in Cycle 7. While I was concerned a little (rightfully or not) after a few cycles, it was crushing after the sixth one. I also think it’s legitimate if you know that sex is well-timed during those 6 cycles to seek out a doctor. For whatever daft reason – age discrimination being among them, in my case, as I’m younger than 35 – I’m holding out a while longer.
Using OPKs over a few cycles is a good idea – generally you’ll get an idea of when you ovulate. And it probably would help to be getting busy around the time you’ll conceive, even if you haven’t yet gotten a positive OPk. I’m fortunate in that I usually have a fade-in pattern, so when a second line appears, I know it’ll be positive within a few days. That’s when I start getting busy.
Once you get that positive, you’ll *usually* ovulate within 1 – 2 days. Some women don’t catch the surge until later – when they may have less than a day before they ovulate.
But all in all, your odds of getting pregnant are no greater if you schedule sex like that than if you have sex at least every other day. If you don’t do the former, go for the latter.
But it’s still early. Even statistically speaking (and the stats vary WIDELY – you give me the impression you’ve never before used OPKs, so I’ll just assume that), most women aren’t pregnant at the 3-to-4 month mark. An estimated 60 – 70% are pregnant after 6 months (so, we’ll assume after 3 – 4 that it’s probably about 40 – 50% pregnant).
So? You’re in a boat where probably about half of all women are pregnant by this point – and you happen to be in the other half.
Get OPKs, try a few more months, then think about maybe seeing somebody.
Post # 10
Thanks ladies, for sharing your thoughts and stories with me. It really helps to know I”m not alone in this. I think it can be difficult for your partner to really understand the emotional up and down. I think my husband is just patiently waiting for the good news…and until that happens…there’s no news. But that’s now how it plays out in my mind each month.
Anyway – I think I’ll try charting now and see if that helps.
Good luck to all of you who are trying. And I’ll keep you posted on our progress.