(Closed) TTC now, MOH in March…tell bride?

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Congratulations!!  You won’t need to order a dress until three or four months before the wedding (ask your consultant to clarify the necessary time frame) so I just would wait until then to order since you won’t know where you will be in the TTC journey at that point.  I would not say anything until you get a BFP ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 3
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

LilaPenelope:  Congrats on ttc!!! I’m of the opinion it’s a personal choice to begin this journey. And like pp said, you won’t have to order a dress for a while. I’d say you don’t need to tell anyone at this point. Best of luck!!!

Post # 5
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

LilaPenelope:  No problem! And BFP is Big Fat Positive. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Congratulations! I would tell the bride. I have two BMa that are TTC right now and there is a chance both may be 7,8,9 months at the wedding. They told me they were TTC and when, and I changed up my vision for my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses to accommodate them. No one wants an uncomfortable Bridesmaid or Best Man (I hope). Let her know and I am sure you can hold off on buying the dress (davids come in quick anyhow). davids normally needs 3 months, but mine have come sooner. Some colors are in stock and you can get them in days.

It’s not like you are telling her your pregnant, just that you are trying, the surprise won’t be lost when you announce.

Post # 7
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I wouldn’t say anything…you have no idea how long the process will take…I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding this past September and ordered a size up because I was hoping to be in the second trimester by the time the wedding came…I’m still not pregnant and I wound up having to re-order the dress and it cost an extra $30.  Slap in the face – not pregnant and a MORE expensive dress – hah.  Sometimes I wonder if all of the things I tried to do to plan for “what if” wound up jinxing me :-p

Post # 8
Member
933 posts
Busy bee

I would tell her just because the style of the dresss. Some work for those who are pregnant and others dont. Also, there is always the possibility she would chose a dress that could be getting  discontinued this season and would have to be ordered sooner rather than later. I would tell her that you have no idea where you may be come her wedding time but you just wanted to give her a heads up. I would also ask her not to say anything to anyone just so that there isn’t any extra pressure.

Post # 9
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Congrats on trying! My husband and I just found out we are pregnant. By my LMP, my due date is March 10th and I am supposed to be in a wedding March 5th. We haven’t told anyone yet, but I will tell the bride after we have an ultrasound to confirm viability/due date. I would like to still be in the wedding. I will just wait until a few months out to buy the dress, or buy it a few sizes larger and have it altered closer to the wedding date. Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I would tell her or just hold off TTC until October or November so there’s a better chance you won’t be massively pregnant at the wedding. Also, there’s a lot of hypotheticals when trying to work around a pregnancy and a lot of stress associated with being a MOH/getting married. If you’re close enough to be a Maid/Matron of Honor, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be comfortable enough discussing the matter with the bride.

If you get pregnant very soon (or already are and you just don’t know) you could be due on her wedding date or very, very shortly after.

Post # 11
Member
9044 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

LilaPenelope:  If you are not telling anyone that you are ttc then I don’t think you should feel pressured to tell the bride. Tell her if and when you are ready to tell other people of equal closeness to you and your partner.

You can subtely suggest dresses that are flattering to all body shapes and sizes, including pregnant women, and put off buying until the last minute.

No one is entitled to your private business and a friend should be understanding that things can change in everyone’s lives, especially when dealing with an 8 month timeframe.

Post # 12
Member
336 posts
Helper bee

LilaPenelope: I wouldn’t tell the bride until you are actually pregnant. Like many others have said, you have no idea how long TTC could take what if you are only 2 months pregnant at the time of the wedding? These things are very hard to plan so I would just try to pick a comfortable dress (whether you’re pregnant or not) and go from there. ๐Ÿ™‚ Good luck with TTC!

Post # 13
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

LilaPenelope:   Please wait until you are actually pregnant.   I have an acquaintance who publicly announced that she was trying THREE years ago.  She’s still trying.  Infertility is terrible enough, and now she has to fend off questions and whispers.

The bride’s vision will survive your baby bump, should you have one.  (And your friendship will survive should you decide to bow out because of it.)

Post # 15
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

LMP stands for “last menstrual period”…. this is how OBGYNs calculate how far along you are.  So most people are “4 wks” pregnant when they find out even though conception was approx. 2 weeks before.

 

Best wishes!

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