TTC Pressure / MIL Rant – Anyone else?

posted 6 months ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

That’s annoying that she is so pushy aboud it and that he told her you’re trying, but I guess you can’t be angry cause you told him he could! It sounds like he’s just super excited to be TTC, which is cute.

HOpefully you will get pregnant asap and it’ll be a non issue. If it takes some time though and you don’t wanna deal with comments from your Mother-In-Law, your husband may need to intervene and tell her yall dont want questions about TTC and when there is news to share, you will share it. 

Post # 3
Member
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

busybee86 :  Sorry your Mother-In-Law is being so nosy! Did your husband tell her you guys are trying? I would have your husband tell her you guys want to keep your ttc plans private and you will definatly let her know when you have something to tell once it feels like an appropriate time for you. I would even have him mention that her asking is putting added pressure on you guys! Since she knows what her daughter went through she should absolutely understand!  Plus it is so awkward that she is asking!!  I would be very annoyed!! We had to do IVF as well to conceive our daughter. It took a while and losses before we finally did. My Sil asked a lot about our ttc plans which was pretty annoying. My husband is a cancer survivor so she knew we would need fertility assistance. I finally got so mad one night I told her we wont be discussing our ttc plans with anyone but our doctor and God! She never asked again although now that we have a baby she has made small comments about baby # 2 which I mostly ignore and tell her we only have one embryo left so if it sticks great if not we will be grateful to have had our daughter. Hopefully she wont ask again. People are def rude! I’m sure your MIl means well but it is none of her business!! Good luck ttc!!

Post # 6
Member
6358 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

busybee86 :  My Darling Husband (boyfriend at the time) and I were dating for one year before my Mother-In-Law brought up us having kids.  On New Years Eve, she said, “And by 2015, I’ll have another grandbaby!”  Now, Darling Husband had a baby out of wedlock when he was super young, so maybe she just thought we wanted to have a baby in that situation too?  Or we were going to accidentally get pregnant?  But she would ALWAYS bring up what gender she wanted.  Most of the time she wanted us to have a girl because “they’re so well-behaved and quiet!”  And once she said that she hope we have a boy because “girls are b*tches.”

She’s a toxic woman, though, and we did finally have a baby in 2018… but she has yet to meet our daughter.

I think your husband just needs to be firm with her about not asking questions because it will hurt more with each passing month.  I hope you get your baby soon <3  

Post # 8
Member
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Hubby and i waited a year to ttc and then got pregnant right away. When he phoned his parents (so about 14 months after the wedding) his mum apparently said they’d just been talking about how we’d  been married a year and no baby and she was going to ask about it. I’m so glad she didn’t and that I didn’t hear this til after i was already pregnant or else I don’t know how I’d have reacted!

(My parents on the other hand were surprised that we started trying so quickly.)

Post # 10
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

You can’t undo the past, but this is why we chose to keep the matter to ourselves.  I wasn’t worried about people being pushy (I’m good at telling my family to mind their own business), but I didn’t want to get a million and one questions on things (even well meaning) if it wound up taking a long time.  And it took us close to a year.  Can you imagine having someone ask us every month how things are going?  In any event, your Mother-In-Law doesn’t seem to be over the top and she directs her inquiries directly to your husband.  If she eventually ramps up, ask your husband to tell her that you’d like some space with regard to this issue.  Hopefully she’s reasonable about it.

Post # 11
Member
1898 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

busybee86 :  We told no one our plans to TTC for that exact reason. My Mother-In-Law is extremely nosy, and loves making her opinion known. Now that I am 6 weeks pregnant, we will tell her in 2 weeks after our first scan. If she had known we were TTC, she would have been awkwardly asking for updates and wishing us luck. I think you and your hubby need to sit down and discuss what boundaries to have with her. You have no idea how long you will be TTC, and it could be an extremely stressful time. TTC is between you and your husband!

Post # 13
Member
1898 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

busybee86 :  Thank you! Tons of baby dust to you as well! 

Post # 14
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

This is why we haven’t told anyone our TTC plans. I can’t imagine my Mother-In-Law basically asking about our sex life. So awkward. 

There’ll be news to share when there’s news to share…

Post # 15
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

busybee86 :  I definitely get where you are coming from, especially since she has seen others have trouble getting pregnant.

I do agree that if it continues and puts extra pressure on you that your Darling Husband needs to say something (politely).

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