TTC Put on major hold

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You are really young (i’m 10 years older) – and not that you can’t handle a baby – but if both of you are not 100% ready for this, WAIT.  You will want a partner who is 100% in the weeds with you taking care of a newborn.  In my experience, your jobs etc., will get more flexible as you get older as well, and the whole thing will be easier (it is also easier when you have substantial savings).  I didn’t even get married until 29 so I wasn’t thinking about kids at your age, but you really only get to be 25 once! 

Post # 3
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

View original reply
mermaidbride862 :  I am 27 and DH is 31.  We had a “scare” a couple of years ago, and it hit me with the baby bug HARD.  I was obsessed with the idea of having a baby, did heaps of research and really tried to convince DH (FI at the time) that we were ready.  The reality financially and emotionally was that while we may have managed, we were not where we wanted to be before TTC.  Now I am so glad that we waited and are waiting for another roughly 1-2 years.  

My advice is that you have plenty of time, so if your DH is not ready, don’t push it.  Make sure you guys have a good plan that includes children with a realistic timeline for you both, and focus on your goals you want to achieve pre-baby.  TTC time will come around before you know it! 

Post # 4
253 posts
Helper bee

so im also young (27 now!) but i got married at 24 and dh was 26.. anyway i was ready BEFORE we got married lol… he wasnt.. he was still a little scared. We talked about ttc but he said he wanted to wait a bit. It was SO hard for me… and near the 8 month mark (we agreeed to wait 12 months) i was even sad about waiting. We aggreed to starting a little early… like 2 months early but i still didnt feel like his head was there… it was like he was doing it to make me happy but secretly wished it didnt happen right away. Well ut didnt… it took 10 long, stressful months. It honestly put a lot of strain on our relationship.. but by the end, we were both happy, excited, relieved the the ttc was over lol. Then along came our sweet little baby boy with some medical issues… let me tell you, a newborn is hard, add some health issues in the mix and its recipe for disaster! Luckily… he was ready and he took over and seriously held us all together. He is such a good dad… and our lo is 9 months old and he suggested starting t o ttc already bc he wants another lol. My point is… compromise but dont force. Talk through his concerns.. meet in the middle. I would just hate to force and then have hus say after the fact that he didnt want that. You need him fully on board. Also reevaulate as you go… right now he might think he needs years but it could change!! I know its hard!

Post # 6
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

I agree 100%. Fiance and I finally had the “family timeline talk” after we were engaged. We both knew we wanted kids, preferably 2, and we wanted to be married beforehand, but we’d never really discussed any timeframe. I had no timeframe to offer, being 24 and still in school (not that I didn’t want kids, I just had no idea what kind of schedule). Fiance said, “Definitely within the first two years of getting married” bc he’s 32. We are 2 months into a 24-month engagement, so that means (in theory), I’ll be a MOM in 4 years!!!!!! 

Now part of me just wants to get the wedding over with and start making babies! Hahaha!!!!

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