(Closed) TTC sex different to 'normal' sex

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
9360 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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EllyAnne :  TTC sex for us became very mundane because it took so long. Once the doctors said we need IVF and we went ahead with treatment our sex life went back to normal because the pressure was off. Talk your husband about why he feels like you need to be boring during ttc. I’m 7 weeks now and intercourse is painful  (due to a swollen ovary…booooo..) but we can still do external stuff and the orgasms are WAY better now! I hope that part sticks forever hahaha

Post # 3
Member
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

ugh yes. very much yes. It is much different for us! We even said last month that were going to try to spice it up.. make it fun again, and that happened once, and then back to good old ttc sex. It sucks, and it worries me also for sex after having babies… but not really sure how to fix it.

Post # 4
Member
2127 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

We’re TTC. We fuck like pros! Seriously though, our sex life became rather vanilla a while before we started trying. That’s pretty normal however. Although I do miss how it was in the beginning. It was rough, regular, and involved a whole lot of toys. We always said we’d thoroughly enjoy TTC because we’d be fucking with a goal. Sounds pretty weird. We do massively enjoy it, and we do switch up the positions, but generally it’s quite bland. I put it down to our sex life in general though, not that we’re trying to make a baby. 

Post # 8
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee

I both agree and disagree.  I came off the pill for the first time in 10 years and suddenly my libido came back with a bang!  I didn’t realize BCP had, over the course of 10 years, very gradually picked away at my sex drive: I just assumed that after so long with the same person, it was a natural progression.  After coming off the pill, my libido went from 0 to 100! DH says I’m like a teenager going through puberty, particularly the week BEFORE my FW. I only went off the pill because of TTC, so in that sense TTC is to thank for all the great sex I’ve been having!

On the other hand, my drive is highest BEFORE FW (shouldn’t evolution/biology have made me naturally horny when I’m most likely to conceive?), so during FW I’m not as enthusiastic as the week prior and sometimes it does feel a bit like a chore, particularly because there are all these other “tasks” like entering each time we have sex into FF and checking CM – I’m not doing these things outside of FW, so it makes it feel kinda clinical.

As an aside, I really don’t like the term “baby dancing”. I use it (and the acronym BD) because its the shorthand everyone uses, but gosh, way to take all the sexiness out of sex!

 

Post # 9
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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livster :  Yes! I am totally the same way, my sex drive is way higher the week before FW! I thought I was the only one, it seems so strange. I was on the pill for 8 years, went off it about a year ago.

We are only 2 months into TTC, but before we would normally only have sex 1-2 times per week. Scheduling sex and doing it more often during FW is definitely weird, and I imagine it will get more annoying as time goes on… We never had a very adventurous sex life to begin with and that hasn’t changed with TTC.

Post # 10
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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EllyAnne :  the first month of TTC was awful. Literally the worst sex we’d ever had together. He felt so much pressure he took forever to finish. I even offered to just give up on it because neither of us were enjoying it at that point. 

By month 3 it was better. We had more fun with it again. But I think there’s the mentality that there’s a purpose behind it, it’s not just spontaneous or because we want to… even if we actually want to. 

Post # 11
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

When we first started TTC, sex was exciting in a new way because we so badly wanted to make a baby! Around 6 months in, I was starting to get frustrated that we weren’t pregnant yet and we had a little rough patch where sex became a chore and a scheduled one at that. It was rough there for a few months until I finally just stopped talking to my husband about anything OPK/baby/timing related and just initiated it when it was time and that was the cycle we got pregnant. Sometimes making sex all about babymaking really puts a strain on your relationship. Definitely keep having sex outside of baby making times! 

Post # 12
Member
9360 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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EllyAnne :  it’s a tough mindset to get out of but try to give yourself a break. There was one time where we went for it because I was ovulating but neither of us were actually in the mood. It was literally the worst sex we’d ever had, but luckily after a second both of us burst out laughing and said “welp – that sucked.” and we high fived over the fact that we at least gave it a try hahaha

Post # 13
Member
4226 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

DH and I’s sex life was always a little ‘vanilla’ for my taste (he is a bit of a prude, but I have accepted that). TTC sex felt rather clinical to be honest. We haven’t had a lot of sex during pregnancy (I don’t feel much up for it), but I will say the encounters we HAVE had are surprisingly amazing!

Post # 14
Member
2309 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I find TTC sex to be differnt and I agree in that it is clinical. We do it not because we want to but because we feel like we have to in my fertile window. I have never been a sexual person but I have to say that it is a nice connection with hubby thinking “maybe we just made a person?” I can’t o on my own so we alwasy use a toy and it helps a lot. 

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