Post # 1
We just got married in Aug 2015, and are trying to figure out our TTC timeline! We continuously talk about a “good” time, but always have a hard time trying to decide. We have a house, and somewhat of our ideal careers, so we feel ready, but still cannot decide on the perfect time, if there is such thing. For one – I feel like people are constantly telling me how young I am (turning 25), and that I should wait before having kids and travel. I find it frustrating that people assume that I want to travel. I have had baby fever since I was 5, and travelling has never really been a dream for me. Second – we would like more of a financial cushion, and to do some house renos first… so I think waiting a year is probably the best idea. Third – I am a teacher, who is currently fulfilling a long term conrtact (ends in June). I find it hard to plan with these kinds of contracts because I don’t know if I will have enough hours to qualify for mat leave, or if I am going to miss an opportunity while on mat leave. Many people have said I should wait until a permanent job comes along, but that could 5 years, and I really don’t feel like I should put my career in front of having a family. Anyway, our idea was to TTC in July 2016, and if al goes as planned, have a baby in April 2017. That way if I manage to secure another contract job for next Sept, I would still qualify for the income boost, considering I would go on Mat leave during the school year. I would 26 upon the babys birth and my SO would be 28. Does anyone have any opinions on this timeline? Any suggestions? Insights? I guess Im just looking for confirmation that Im doing the right thing, and planning appropriately. Is 26 too young? Is a year after marriage too early to TTC?
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
If it feels right to you, that’s all that matters.
In my opinion, 26 isn’t too young, and a year after marriage isn’t too early to TTC. I’ll be 26 when my baby is born, and we found out I was pregnant one year after our wedding. We’re pretty happy with where we are.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2013 - Outdoor
Well, a lot of the people I know (myself included) started trying after about 2 years. But what’s right for someone else may not be right for you, and it sounds like you are putting a lot of though into it, so I’m sure you’ll be fine!
That said, have you considered what you will do if you don’t get pregnant right away? If it takes a couple of months to conceive and the baby is born in the summer, will your maternity leave/plan for next September’s job situation change drastically? I’m not saying that you won’t get pregnant right away (I did!) but statistics say only about 40% of couples conceive within 3 months of trying, and 70% within 6 months, so it’s worth thinking about and making a plan for if that happend.
Post # 4
Stephefanie: Yes I have thought about that too which makes me worried. Realitiscally it won’t change my situation too much, I just won’t get the 6 weeks of full pay. So it’s not a huge deal. It’s so nerverwracking not knowing how long it will take! Awesome that it happened so quickly for you!
Post # 5
Dtbruno: Congrats on your recent wedding! I am not yet a parent but my husband and I are having the same “timing” discussions And I just posted a similar post an hour or two ago! I would say that 26 is not too young -Especially if you feel it’s a good time! It’s clear that motherhood has been something you have always wanted. You also are young enough that if you waited a year or two more you also would still be in peak child bearing years and not have to worry about any increased risks. If the timing feels right in your plan, go for it! The rest of life will work itself out.
Post # 6
jocrazy: Thank you! I feel like you could have a million of these discussions and still never be 100% sure that the timing is right! I think you’re right though, life always works itself out:)
Post # 7
Perfect timing doesn’t exist. Things can change in an instant and in ways you woudn’t expect. For us it boiled down to the number of children we wanted to have and how old we wanted to be when the last was born.
Post # 8
We got married at 22 (me) and 24. We had an original timeline to start trying after 3 years of marriage. Well… oops, we got pregnant after 9 months. So a year and a half into our marriage (when we were young, at 23 and 25) we had a baby boy. And EVERYTHING changed. He is the absolute greatest aspect of our lives, and we are actually TTC for another now, still before our original timeline to try for our first!!
All that to say, there is no perfect time, you’ll have 9 months to warm up to the idea, and it is honestly the BEST thing having a baby. We had to switch around a few of our life goals, since we decided it’s best for me to be a Stay-At-Home Mom — actually I work art time from home, but that was my boss’ idea — and so we just got a cheaper apartment and are saving up to buy a house in a couple months! Everything works out just fine.
Post # 9
Yes, there is no perfect time….but there are definitely times that are better than others. You’re going to be responsible for a person, so I really hate the whole “oh, you’ll make it work!” idea. That’s fine if you have an oops, but don’t plan for a kid at a time that isn’t at least pretty good career/money-wise.
I say wait until June and see where you are. There are literally a million things that can change between now and then. We waited a few years before getting pregnant, and spent time doing all kind sof things (yes, that did include traveling, but doesn’t have to!), but I do think that time of just enjoying each other made us stronger, and means we’re going into parenthood with a great relationship.
Post # 10
I am in the same boat as you 🙂 so totally following. We just got married October 3rd, just purchased a house..and are wanting to paint and furnish it…and save money (which I think will be impossible as we paint and furnish the house) before we TTC.
Also I dont’ think you are too young, I’m 25 and my husband is 28 🙂
Did you start reading books and stuff on babies? I see all of these acronyms on here and feel so lost =p
Would it be weird if I started reading books and stuff now? I don’t think we will activley TTC until early 2017
Post # 11
I also got married October 3rd! I am older though (30) and hubs is 32 later this month. We do not own a home (live in GTA and housing costs are high) but we rent a full 3 bed, 2.5 bath home and have stable careers. We will be trying in the spring and we are so excited for it!
I agree with what everyone else says…go with your gut. There is no perfect timing. We had talked about owning a house first but where we live we would need about $25k for a down payment which isn’t anything to shake a stick at. We can buy a house later, but having a baby further into my 30s makes me nervous since we don’t know if all will go well and we will even be able to get pregnant.
Post # 12
I would say go with what you think it’s right timming. DH and I waited one year before we officiallly TTC but we really just tried once last month but there are so many things going on with our house…so we decided to wait until January or Feburary when things are more settle…
I’m 34 and Darling Husband is 40… so for me, I would like to have a baby soon but deep down, I wish I can have one when things are more settle… there are so many reno that need to be done… I want everything done before we have one but due to my age, waiting is a luxury fo rmy opnion ….. so yeah, if it happen, it happen right?