(Closed) TTC timing

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
2166 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We didn’t do it every single day in my fertile window, we did every other day. Doing it every day isn’t necessarily the best anyway because you need to let his supply rebuild. I also found putting to much pressure on yourselves doesn’t help so I never told my husband when I was in my fertile week either. You can BD a day or two before O and still become pregnant, while obviously hitting it the day of is ideal, you’re not completely out if you miss the day of. I hope this helps a bit, this is just what worked for us.

Post # 3
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This is our first month TTC and I feel the same way.  I can’t imagine how hard it must be after 8+ months…I can’t even think about it.  DH and I do not have high drives either, so BD EOD is not very natural feeling…there’s nothing we can do about that.  I think you just need to keep it up, EOD during your fertile week and see if it happens for you.  You’ve been doing this for 8 months now….only 4 more tries until you can try and get more answers.  I’m really, really sorry you’re going through this…I wish I had something more to say to help you!

Post # 4
Member
4891 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We waited until around our 1-year anniversary before we started trying. Timing was somewhat easy to plan, once I figured out when I O’d (using the Fertility Friend app). You’re best to BD quite a few times before you O, and we usually tried for EOD after my last day of my period… just to be safe and cover bases. Even after you O, still get a BD session… cos you never know if you O’d later or earlier – even with getting positive OPKs.

We’re in our mid-30’s, and every day was too much for Darling Husband, so I felt the EOD was perfect. I don’t know what was different in March (we had been trying since November), but something worked and the timing allowed for the BFP!

Post # 5
Member
2021 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It sounds like your timing is good but if I were in your shoes I would start temping/tracking to confirm ovulation as you can get a positive OpK and not ovulate. 

Post # 6
Member
9820 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think your timing has been good enough.  Are you temping to confirm ovulation?  With OPKs you can ovulate anywhere from 12-48 hours later (or longer if you get multiple ones) and OPKs aren’t a guarantee you have ovulated.  Temping will confirm and then you can look to see if you usually ovulate on the same day each month.  I ovulated 12 hours (usually) after my + OPK so having sex the day after really wouldn’t have done any good.  Personally, if you’ve been able to BD twice within the 5 days prior to ovulation I think that is enough.  There is no need to do it every day.  If anything, you want to have sex a day or two before ovulation so the sperm are already there.  There is no need to try and hit O day exactly.  I got pregnant from sex 4 and 5 days before O, they can hang around a long time.

If you don’t get a BFP in 2 months I would call your doctor

Post # 8
Member
826 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

mrspuppylove:  You can use a bbt adjuster (google it) to adjust the times and temps on your chart. This will help with FF getting your O date correct.

I think after 10 months, your timing is probably “good enough”. That said, my husband and I tried for 19 months before getting our first bfp. No idea why it took so long. BDing that much does get exhausting.  You should be at a point where you have an idea when O is coming. I would start BDing when you start to see FCM, then do it every 2-3 days until you get a + OPK, then aim for EOD until 1 day after O.

Post # 9
Member
9820 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

mrspuppylove:  I highly doubt the issue is that you are not hitting O day exactly.  You do not need to have sex on the day of O to get pregnant.  It is usually better to do it the day or two before O so that the sperm are already there waiting for the egg.  Having sex only when you are ovulating isn’t always the best idea, since sperm still need hours to travel up there and the egg can die after 12 hours (they live 12-24 hours).  Some sperm might be able to reach the egg within an hour but others can take days!  It’s fine to try to hit O day as long as you have had sex within 3 days before O so you are definitely covered. That is why EOD is generally recommended.  Keep temping, it is the only way to confirm ovulation and see how many days you are actually hitting.

Post # 12
Member
9820 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

mrspuppylove:  Yes, waiting until you get a + OPK isn’t always the best.  Like I said, I regularly ovulated 12 hours afte my + OPK (which I would get with FMU) so if I waited until that night to have sex that doesn’t give very much time for everything to get into place.  Of course it can still happen, but that is why the idea is to also have sex prior to that OPK so that sperm are already there.  Having sex the day of O obviously doesn’t hurt anything, but that is why most doctors will recomend EOD during the fertile week.  No need to have sex every single day.

If you O’d on Thursday night then I think Wednesday night is good timing.  There is probably no need to have sex today because by tonight the egg will probably be dead (assuming you did O thursday night and they live up to 24 hours).  Now that is if you have confirmed ovulation.  The reason people have sex after O day is just in case O wasn’t really when they thought it was (to cover their bases in case they really O’d later). So again, no harm in having sex tonight but I wouldn’t feel bad if you don’t. 

Did you have a temp jump today?  Post your chart.

Post # 15
Member
2797 posts
Sugar bee

We had the same issue. My Darling Husband has a very low sex drive and when not ttc, we were having sex maybe once every two weeks. So doing it often during FW became a challange, caused a lot of fights and tension (honestly it was worst period of our relationship out of 5 years).

Some PPs are saying it is better to do it eod, but the thing is with Darling Husband who has a very low drive that is way too much and they get worned out after like two days. LOL. If our “average” was once every two weeks, there is no way eod since period ends till after O would ever work. I could literally make my Darling Husband bd only once or twice (if I was lucky) during FW. EOD was a fantasy dream to me that I have heard of, but never got to experiece. So I get your strugge.

I just had to get REALLY good at figuring out my body and O day and make sure that that one or max two bd sessions fell on the right day (O-1, O-2 or O). Each body is different, but I would O about 40 hours after first positive opk, so it was good enough just testing daily and bding the day of the first positive or even the day after.

Now we are doing fertility treatments, did IUIs and IVF, still no luck. But as weird as it sounds, it is much less pressure on me to do IVF than when we were ttcing on our own. The Dh’s low drive and having to literally narrow it down to 1 or 2 days to “hit the target” was insanely stressful and made me a crazy woman. While treatments are very stressful also, at least me and Darling Husband stopped fighting over the bd issue and can have it once in few weeks without it causing a hell lot of tension.

Good luck bee. This really sucks.

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