Post # 1
I have known for a while that I have fertility issues (told by doctors when I was about 19). Well now here is the deal I am 21 now almost 22 (I have not been on BC since after I was told that). My Fiance and I decided not to take any precautions because if it happens it happens… well is hasnt even though i track my periods, eat heathly, work out and that folic acid. i know i am young, but i love kids and i am a daycare instuctor (children are my calling in life). but I just feel like its never going to happen to us!!! 🙁
Well yesterday I found out my almost sister in law is pregnant with her second child (she is 24 and just stopped BC three months ago). I havent been on BC for almost 3 years!!!!! Not that I’m not happy for her but i’m scared that that will never be me, I feel like I was put on this earth to be a mother but my body says otherwise 🙁
do you women have any advice for me? Any tips? Medicines? Moral support?
Post # 3
P.s. first post on TTC boards. I don’t know all the lingo yet!
Post # 4
I completely understand your feelings but you still have plenty time and options open to you.
First off, I am not sure what your medical issue is but you need to get under the supervision of a specialist. Most fertility issues are hormone related and if that is the case I recommend you see a reproductive endocrinologist (RE).
You mentioned that you are tracking your periods? Are they regular? Have you charted to see when/if you ovulate? Ovulating too late can also be an issue.
Please don’t let it stress you out too much you have only just started your TTC journey. Now I say this but I don’t really take my own advice as I stress out about TTC all the time. Similar to your situation, my best friend in the entire world is pregnant after the first month of trying. I really do want to be happy for her but I have been trying for 14 cycles and still have yet to ovulate… so I just can’t be the friend to her that I want to be right now!
The stats for fertility challenged women getting pregnant is very high so keep your chin up girly and just start working with a specialist to establish a plan.
Post # 5
have you thought about going through a fertility clinic at some point to do IUI’s or IVF? i work at a fertility clinic and there are other options out there too which include egg donation/gestational carriers. you are very young and theres still hope!
Post # 6
I know it can be so hard. We have been trying for over a year and my sister is having her third in May. It can be so discouraging to see other woman getting pregnant so easily when it’s so hard for you. Just do your best to stay positive. I started using this fertility prep stuff that I got from our local health food store and have friends who swear by it, I have my fingers crossed.
I don’t know if you are charting but that can be very helpful too. good luck!
Post # 7
If you know you aren’t going to conceive like everybody else why are you TRYING to conceive like everybody else? That’s just going to lead to disappointment and jealousy. Which is what you are experiencing now.
I have had my own share of TTC battles, so I speak from a bit of experience.
If you don’t have knowledge and you want to throw caution to the wind and see what happens that’s all well and good. But you can’t have already been diagnosed with fertility issues and just “see how it goes”. That’s like knowing you’re allergic to strawberries, eating them and wondering why you have hives.
You don’t indicate exactly what the issue is…… if it’s correctable start there. if you don’t know…. have a full work up to see exactly what the issue is and what your options are. Are you ovulating? How long is your luteal phase? What’s your endometrium like? How are your fallopian tubes? How are your hormone levels? Thyroid doing everything it should? Is your body soaking up Vitamin D like a trooper? How’s your iron level? Once you know all that information…. Then….. act.
If you want a baby you can have a baby. It really IS that easy. You just have to decide what you’re willing to do to get one, and what your boundaries are for what baby you want. If you get too restrictive or picky or aren’t willing to do whatever it will take…. well then you might not get a baby…. it’s up to you.
What you DO know…. is that you probably aren’t going to get a baby by having unprotected sex with your partner…… while that is unfortunate and complicates the situation…. it’s not the only way to get a baby.
What I wouldn’t do is be passive-aggressive…. which is where you are right now. You aren’t really DOING anything that you know will get YOU pregnant. You’re doing the stuff that you WISH would work… or that Janie is doing to get HERSELF pregnant. But you’re not them. So figure out you and then go from there.
Post # 8
@FMM: My doctor says my uterus is tipped (my moms was very tipped along with she had problems keeping babies, my sister samething) along with hormones. My mom did IVF and everything for years and it was so hard for her to get pregnant. I do chart some what (like the cervical mucus (I have not tried the whole checking my temp in the morning though). I actually do have pretty regular periods (suprising but so that means I am ovulating, Right?)
Thank you for all your advice and I hope you ovulate soon! Good luck on TTC!
Post # 9
@sharky: I will have to look in to going to a fertility clinic! thank you 🙂
Post # 10
@Birdee106: can you let me know what the fertility prep stuff is called? it would be worth a shot! I hope it works for you.
I just with it could be that easy for me to get pregnant… but it seems like it wont be. My Fiance always said well I enjoy trying to make them, haha 😉 what kind of charting do you do?
Post # 11
@3xaCharm: My doctor said my uterus is so tilted that it will be very hard for me to get pregnant as well as my hormones. (everyone in my family has had very hard times getting pregnant and staying pregnant). I know my thyroid is good, I am pretty sure i ovulate because of my cervical mucus, I think my body gets enough vitamin D (but I dont know) and I know I have a problem with low iron… I dont know how long my luteal phase is (To tell you the truth i dont know exactly what it is). I have never had my endometrium checked out. good questions and alot of good info!
thats true I guess its true that I am wishing I will get pregnant but it will probably take work. I will forsure have to go back to may doctor with all of these questions then go from there… I think I want to do everything I can to have a baby, but some people look at me like I’m so young to be trying all these options to get pregnant… like I should be able to do it with out help.
Post # 12
If you have anatomical issues, then it is possible that you will need IVF, but there is no way to know for sure unless you meet with a fertility clinic. I would recommend reading TCOYF and begin charting your temperature and using ovulation tests so you know exactly when you are ovulating each cycle until you meet with a fertility clinic. Technology is better than when your mom was TTC so maybe there is a surgery to help you with your issues that wasn’t available when your mom was TTC. I wish you the best of luck with everything.
PS, I am 22 and was TTC for a year without success. We were on fertility medications and everything =/ I can 100% relate to you… So frustrating. Especially because it feels like no one takes you seriously.
Post # 13
I to am TTC with fertility issues and I know how scary and frustrating it can be. I think you have gotten a lot of good recommendations already. Keep up your hope-you are young and time is on your side.
Post # 14
@Roxykitten: FYI you can have fairly normal periods and still not ovulate. Temping or blood tests are the only ways to know for sure. I thought like you do when I first started all of this too, but I’ve found out along the way that you can ovulate, not get AF and not be pregnant; and you can have regular cycles and not be ovulating. One doesn’t guarantee the other.
I’d also 2nd the other ladies. Knowing that you have fertility issues and knowing that you have been at least not trying not preventing for the past 2 years, I’d start looking into talking to a specialist.
Post # 15
@Roxykitten: The stuff I got is Wishing Garden Fertility Prep. Tastes awful but if it gets me pregnant then its worth it. Check out fertility friend, helps a lot with charting!
Post # 16
As PPs have pointed out, you don’t know for sure if you’re ovulating. Cervical mucus only tells you your body is getting ready to ovulate, not that it will/did. Some women never get the most fertile cervical mucus and still conceive, and others gets tons of fertile cervical mucus and have trouble. Also, just because you have a period doesn’t mean you ovulated because you could be having annovulatory cycles. You could also be ovulating but have a short luteal phase (the time between ovulation and your period) that could be hampering conception. You should be able to figure out if you’re ovulating by charting (read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and download a phone app like FertilityFriend).
Now, your problem sounds like it’s anatomical instead of hormonal, so I don’t know if charting will be much use to you. It will help you time sex better for conception, but it won’t help the sperm reach the egg or help you keep the baby. You’d definitely need to talk to a fertility specialist about that.