Give up? Keep going? (TTC)

posted 1 year ago in TTC
Post # 3
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

mrsalexander :  Oh I am so sorry!  I have infertility issues and just went through IVF so I feel your pain.  I would request your doctor to do a fertility screening on you (check your hormone levels, ultrasound to check your ovaries and uterus, hsg or saline sono) and have your husband get a sperm analysis done.  From there, you will know what your issue is and how to tackle it.  For example, if you are not ovulating regularly, then something like clomid could help to get you to.  If it is a sperm issue, clomid could help by producing more eggs for the sperm but meds for him, IUI, or IVF may be necessary if it is a sperm issue.  At the very least get a sperm analysis so you know for sure when you are trying, you are trying with ammo!


Also go to an RE (reproductive endocrinologist) instead of your regular doctor.  Two years of trying is more than enough to warrant a trip to a fertility specialist.

Post # 4
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

mrsalexander :  I’ve been trying for #2 since July 2016. I’ve had an ectopic and two missed miscarriages. I feel for you. It’s horrible and I’ve thought about throwing in the towel, but it’s not really what I want. I also didn’t want to give up without getting actual help first. So I got help. I haven’t made it to my rainbow, but I’m in the right place. 

Can you see an RE or specialist? They will actually go through and test things, instead of just give you a drug. If you really want another, seek some help beyond your GP. 

PM me if you want to talk. Secondary infertility is really tough.

Post # 5
2188 posts
Buzzing bee

So sorry you’re feeling discouraged. Infertility is emotionally and physically taxing. Only you know how to move forward in it, whether that’s being a 1 child family orpursuing more fertility testing and treatment. There’s also no harm in taking a break from trying to assess how you’re feeling. 

It’s not uncommon for doctor’s to describe Clomid without testing if it’s a family doc or OB. It’s kind of a first line of defense drug prescribed either for those not ovulating, or to encourage you to ovulate multiple eggs to get you a better chance.

That being said, if you do want to keep trying for #2, go get some fertility work done up. An OB can do some of it, but a fertility specialist, like an RE, would be the most helpful. Having your husband do a sperm analysis is a good idea, too. It’ll give you a sense of what may be causing your infertility and help you assess how to move forward.

Post # 6
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree with PP about getting testing done, hopefully by an RE as opposed to your GP or OB.

My husband and I had quite a few conversations as secondary infertility had come up with our OB after we struggled to conceive following a miscarriage.  We had conversations about how far we would go, how much we would be willing to pay for a second baby, which I think are important conversations.  You want to be on the same page.

In our case, we decided that we would be willing to try medications (and I was actually prescribed Letrazole/Femera), but that any procedure IUI or IVF were not in the cards for us.  Thankfully we were blessed with our 2nd BFP on a cycle that my OB thought would be anovulatory (due to day 3 hormone levels), and I never needed to fill the script.

Post # 7
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

So sorry you’re having a hard time, TTC can be so dicsouraging especially when it seems so easy for others.

Definitely go see a fertility specialist, it’s so much different than just seeing your GP or even OBGYN. They may help you do additional testing and lay out options.

Regarding the Clomid, I was prescribed it without any testing and I ovulate fine on my own. My doctor told me that it will help increase my chances of getting pregnant, so there was really no reason not to try it. It hasn’t really worked for me, but we’ll soon be moving on to other options.

Post # 8
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Im sorry you are feeling this way. Infertility is a tough road. It’s emotionally and physically exhasuting.  I had a long TTC journey (2 years, 3 missed miscarriages and IVF) and almost gave up several times. Im 34 and Darling Husband is 44 and our ages were a stressor.  We even met with adoption agencies because I didnt know if I could do it anymore. We decided to try again and I am currently 17 weeks pregnant with a baby boy! I agree with PP’s, I would request to get a work-up asap. They may be able to identify an issue and treat it.  I know it’s easy for me to say now, but I am glad that I didnt give up when I wanted to. Wishing you the best!

Post # 9
9446 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would absolutely get a second opinion from another doctor. I personally wouldn’t throw in the towel without further testing.

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