Ttc/jealousy/concern

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Not alone!  Before DS I would cry when friends announced pregnancies!  I just felt like I was missing something always until I got pregnant.  I think it’s normal when you want something so badly!

Post # 18
Member
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

daniellemc :  ugh I feel you so bad. We have been ttc for 8 months now.. and it only gets harder with every month that passes. I feel like an awful person when I feel that ping of jealousy, but i know its natural. The worst part.. there were a lot of announcements back in the summer.. and i said oh well ill be pregnant at the same time as them and give birth a few mths later, no big deal. Well here i am, 8 months later.. theyre al about to have their babies! Its hard.

Freaky part… my name is also name Danielle.. and I also had the pleasure of attending my younger cousins shower a couple of months ago.. it was hard. All of my aunts were asking when were planning on having kids since weve been married for almost two years.. and my cousins not married yet. Not that that matters at all.. but its just hard seeing people have “accidents” and im over here bding like 15-20 a month and still nothing. Its exhausting… emotionally, physically, mentally… and hard on our relationship. I envy people who get pregnant easily. 

Post # 19
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Definitely normal and not alone!  I am trying to limit my time on Facebook, in part because every time I log on someone else has put up a pregnancy announcement. Actually, I have multiple tabs open right now and was scanning through Facebook as I read this (hello, ADD 🙂 ) and another one happened!  Haha ahhhh!

Post # 20
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

daniellemc :  Girl I feel you. I have 35+40 day cycles I have been of bc for over a year. We have been ttc for 5 months now. I have some past health issues that could impact my fertility. So I am concerned about that. I was shopping for a friend and my cousins baby showers which I had back to back and I totally cried in target. I had just gotten my period on ttc month 4 and I was really sensative. It sounds petty but I was walking around looking at all the cute things and thinking “I may never get to do this for myself” and it just really got to me. 

 

Hang in there bee this feeling is very normal and it suuuuuccckkkksss.

 

 

Post # 21
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

MOST people who are announcing pregnancy announcements probably went through exactly what you are feeling first.  Each month if all the timing is perfect you still only have a 20% chance of conceiving.   That means the odds of conceiving in the first month are against you and the average is 5 months (average meaning a few are less but many are more as well).  

We really wanted to time a baby for the summer because I’m a teaching who gets off in the summer.  We figured it would be easy because we were committed to TTC and I had very regular periods.  But nope, we had month after month of BFN. No may, June, July, or August.   I was sooo jealous of people having babies during those months (still am a bit).  Just got my first BFP for a September due date.   Planning the due date didn’t work at all and I have no idea how I’ll work it out with my work yet, but we are more focused on becoming first time parents to hopefully a healthy baby (on the plus side a September bday will make them on the old side of their grade which I think is better academically, And there are loads of fall bdays in my family so this will add to the mix).  Just be patient (easier said than done- i wasn’t patient at all)- your time will come- you are just not going to be able to choose or predict that time (which sucks for super planners like me!).  It helps to remember that most people announcing had some struggle.  You are in the struggle part but you will get to the announcing part before too long!

Post # 22
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

daniellemc :  I’m glad your sonogram didn’t show any problems.

I haven’t told any friends or family we are TTC. All my friends who have had babies in the last couple of years got pregnant the first month apart from one who took two cycles and she was really annoyed “that it took so long.” I get comments all the time including a rather lovely one last week “you’re leaving it a long time, you’ll need twins!” I was also asked if we made babies over Christmas. This was from a father of 4 who seems to not know that you don’t just have sex once and have a baby. 

We’ve only been trying a few cycles but if say with 6 more cycles we aren’t pregnant then I don’t want to tell people we’ve been trying a long time because I don’t want advice I haven’t asked for. Still baffles me that anyone asks people when they are having kids.

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