(Closed) Turning over gift list to MIL?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
3584 posts
Sugar bee

@Ribbit:  My Mother-In-Law asked for this also. I wasnt too bothered by it. She just wanted to know so that she knows how to gift others when there time comes around (her family members) So I understood where she was coming from. Maybe just give her a list of what her family and friends gave and exclude the gifts from your friends and family

Post # 4
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would never ask for that! (even from my daughter and I am a pretty nosy person!) It’s none of her business!  She doesn’t need to “acknowledge” YOUR gifts, you and your DH do…. Just keep brushing her off. Ugh!

Post # 5
496 posts
Helper bee

@bridesmomma:  +1


Seriously, seems a little invasive.  Maybe it’s the norm for her but if it makes you uncomfortable, just say that everyone got a thank you card, it’s taken care of.  Why does she need to acknowledge gifts given to you and your spouse?

Post # 6
465 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@Ribbit:  It seems like a little odd request but do you think that she’ll do anything weird with the info other than say thank you to the people that sent gifts? If not, than give it to her. It doesn’t seem big enough to make something out of it unless she’s the type to shame people   or gossip about their gifts. In that case I wouldn’t give it to her.

Some mothers like to say “Oh, my son uses that coffee grinder set you gave at the wedding every day” in polite conversation. She proably knows the people on his side of the family more intimately that you do.  

There is nothing wrong with people being thanked twice if thats her intent. 



Post # 7
2039 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It does sound a little wierd.

Post # 8
7946 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i would find it strange if my Mother-In-Law asked me for this. espeically just to acknowledge a gift.  that is what the thank you note from the couple is for.


but my mother did ask me if i would share with her what her friends give me for my wedding.  i told her i would tell her. she wants to know if what she’s spent on them all these years to their kids wedding is comparable to what they are giving back.




Post # 9
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

That sounds extremely odd, I dont think my own mother would ask for that. Be honest and tell her you do not feel comfortable sharing those details with her without the gift givers permission. 

Post # 12
2184 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Ribbit:  ya my IL’s asked us “how much we made at the wedding” the morning we woke up after the wedding…. im like ahhhhhh a) we havent even THOUGHT about opening gifts yet….we just woke up for gods sakes…and b) its none of your damn business!

I know they are only specifically interested in what their friends gave…because in their culture its now “payback” for all the money they have give their friends kids when they got married. i still dont feel comfortable giving specifics. Tonight is actually the first time we’re going to be spending dinner with them since the wedding so I know its gonna come up.

My Father-In-Law is oging to shit a brick if/when he finds out 2 of the couples he INSISTED on inviting didnt even give us so much as a card LMAO

Post # 13
3841 posts
Honey bee

@Ribbit:  Never ever heard of sharing a gift list before, and I feel like people would be incredibly uncomfortable to know you told your Mother-In-Law what they gave. I would kindly tell her that you will be sending personal thank you notes, and would prefer to leave the gift list private.

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