(Closed) Twenty Somethings – Ever feel like you're getting married too young?

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 32
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@SnurfMurph86:  I love this. Some people just need to grow on their own before growing with someone else. We always talk about how we would 100% not be together today had we been together  so young.

Post # 33
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

im 29 and my wedding is in July and almost got married at 22 to my my ex. i look back now and boy am i glad i didnt get married at 22. i was a bit mature but i think i focused on the wrong things personally.i doubt our marriage would have lasted.

its nice tho that others have found the one in their early 20s.

Post # 34
Member
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m 22, I’ll be 23 at the wedding (by four days). Fiance is 27 (he turns 28 three days after the wedding… our birthdays are exactly one week apart)

I feel totally comfortable getting married at 23, but my adulthood started early. I got kicked out of the house at 17, went to college for a year, moved in with my abusive ex, worked full time on the overnights while going to school full time during the day for two years, then finally left the Boyfriend or Best Friend and the overnight job and started online college.

I met Fiance six months later, and we’ve been together for about two years.

Since I’ve been working full time for the last 4 years, I don’t feel like a 22 year old… I feel like a 26 year old! (when most people get out of college + 4 years working full-time)

Post # 37
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I don’t feel like i’m getting married too young but i feel we are getting married young. I am someone who overthinks alot so i am also thinking about the future and hoping we’ll stay together. 

Fiance and i met a 17 and started dating at 19 and now at 27 we are getting married and we’ve lived together for nearly 4 years. I our circles this is really young and i agree but i think we are ready and whatever happens happens. I try to enjoy our lives and not worry too much.

Despite being together for 8 years already i think this is a good time for us and i am glad we didn’t marry at 21.

Post # 38
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

We started dating when I was 15 (nearly 16). I have noticed that it seems to be a trend for people in my area to start having the ‘college experience’ in their teens though. I know when I was in my early to mid teens i’d sneak out, get drunk, kiss randoms, smoke weed, go partying every weekend, break into public swimming pools, wag school ect, so I got that out of my system really early. I’ve noticed it was the same with most people I know and judging by a couple of posts i’ve read on the bee it seems like maybe it has a lot to do with where you’re from? If I hadn’t had a chance to be ‘wild’ when I was a teen then maybe I would feel like these years were the time for all that, but I think since I got it out of my system when I was younger, I know i’m not missing out on anything 🙂 I am really glad I did that, but at the same time, if I wanna go partying, i’ll take Fiance along with me.

Plus, I think since i’ve been working for 4 years, and living away from my parents it just doesn’t seem like i’m 20. If you were to put my life on a timeline and compare it to the average person, I would be much older than I actually am, if that makes sense? I started everything earlier, I had my crazy years early, I started working early, I moved out of home early ect. I dunno, I just feel older than I am. Most 20 year olds are just experiencing all those things now.

Post # 39
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee

I’m 27 and I would have been WAY too young to get married at 19-22. Some people just want to get married, but I wasn’t ready for it yet. I was out having fun with friends, going on dates, going to college, and simply not ready to be settled down yet. I was still growing emotionally too.

I started dating Fiance when I was 22, but I definitely wasn’t ready to marry him yet, and it would have been a disaster if we had gotten married immediately after meeting. We are also one of those who “just knew” but we also “just knew” that we weren’t ready to get married yet.

My older sister got married when she was 19 and she is still with her husband 10 years later, but has told me that if she was to do it again, she wouldn’t have gotten married so young. She would have also had fun and freedom in her twenties.

I think it depends on the person but in my personal opinion, 19-22 is too young. Honestly, even 27 is kind of on the young end.

P.S. Sometimes Taylor Swift is right 🙂

Post # 40
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah I totally feel like I am too young sometimes. My Fiance and I are 26 and 27 and will be 27 and 28 before our wedding. So basically not young at all, and we have been together for 5 years and living together for 3. We just happen to be among the first of our friends to get married becuase of the community that we live in, so I feel a little bit freaked out and too adult. That being said, one of my friends just bought a house with her husband and that was way weirder for all of us. NYC is so strange that way.

Post # 41
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think I’m too young at all… but I’ll be 29 so it’s kind of different to being 19. I have a great job and a promising career, own property, have lived alone, can take care of myself, all that stuff. So I’m not a 22 year old with a lot to learn. I’ve been through my share of ups and downs, I was married at 22 and divorced not even 3 years later. I most definitely thought I was too young the first time, I felt like I had so much to experience and I was tying myself down. I finally feel like an adult, I’m comfortable in my own skin and I know what I do and don’t need in life and what makes me happy.

For me, “experiencing life” wasn’t about backpacking across Europe, sleeping around or partying a lot. It was about maturing emotionally, standing on my own two feet, learning who I really am as a person, being able to take care of myself and being happy with the adult I’m becoming. That process didn’t start for me until towards the end of my marriage and that’s when I realised I needed and wanted to be alone. I learned so much about myself and grew up an incredible amount during that time and I would never trade that for anything.

ETA: My parents got married at 20 and 22 (after 6 months of dating) and just celebrated 30 years together and are happy. Getting married young doesn’t always end badly!

Post # 42
Member
9089 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

My husband and I were both 25 when we got married. Didn’t feel too young to us.

Post # 43
Member
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We started dating in HS and got married at 21/22. We just knew what we wanted: to stay close to where we lived and have a family. We had job opportunities near us and have family and friends that will help and take care of us. We’re Christians, so we prayed about it being the right decision. We’re young, but we don’t have the personality types to go out and “live crazy”.  We would love to travel, and will find a way to, but we don’t need to go backpacking across Europe or traveling Asia. We want a family and to experience life with them.

Post # 44
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I’ll be 31 when we get married, although I’ve basically been with my Fiance since I was 17 and could have easily been a 20-something bride.

We didn’t get married until now for exactly those reasons you named… we felt like the 20s were our time to adventure and explore.  We lived and traveled in 4 continents, lived all over the US, tried lots of different jobs that had me camping in the desert or on an uninhabited island for 5 months, etc.  We very much shared a life and were 100% committed to each other though – all our friends and family consider us married-esque.

Now we own a house, have stable-ish careers, and are thinking towards a family – so we’re getting married too.

Each to their own though!  I am jealous that 20-something brides won’t have any wrinkles in their wedding day pictures  😉

Post # 45
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I feel this way because of my own experiences and because of what I’ve seen happen to couples who get married under the age of 25 (that is, all of them, discounting some grandparents, have divorced). I’ll turn 28 and Fiance 32 a couple of months after we get married, which I think is perfect. We’ve also been best friends for 7 years and dating for just over 4. I was never really into partying, though my Fiance was, so I’m not sure if I feel like I missed out on anything, or if that was just because I was in a pretty stifling relationship from 20-23.

Post # 46
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Miss Jackrabbit:  Exactly!

 

I’ll be 21 two weeks after the wedding and Fiance is 22. I wouldn’r have minded waiting longrt, but he wanted to get married now. It doesn’t matter either way. We love and support each other. We talk all the time about moving to new zeland so he can teach, and I’ll work on my music. Our possibilities our endless. 

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