(Closed) Twenty-somethings…who, if anyone, is walking you down the aisle?

posted 9 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 17
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Kant:

I am prefectly comfortable in my own skin and DO NOT feel like I am being sold at the alter. I feel like this is one memory for both my dad and I. I am a grown woman, I pay my own way in this world, my dad hasnt always been my favorite person or always been nice, but he is still my dad. People look far into the symbolism of things than to just see the moment. IMO

Post # 18
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

By the way I am also 22 will be 23 on my wedding day πŸ™‚

Post # 19
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My dad will be walking me down the aisle.

I will be 22 when I get married

Post # 20
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I am prefectly comfortable in my own skin and DO NOT feel like I am being sold at the alter. I feel like this is one memory for both my dad and I. I am a grown woman, I pay my own way in this world, my dad hasnt always been my favorite person or always been nice, but he is still my dad. People look far into the symbolism of things than to just see the moment. IMO

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@Captain013: I don’t think just because someone wants to walk down the aisle alone they are not comfortable in their own skin which is what your statement implies… Your comment seems kinda snarky which I dont really think is necessary. Also, women have been considered property of men for hundreds of years and I dont think thats looking too far into symbolism.. thats literally what it symbolizes.

Post # 21
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
@natbug21: OP said she was her own person, which implied that those who choose to have their fathers/parents walk them down the aisle are not. I think that’s what Captain was referring to.

It’s also important to realize that traditions have evolved with time. Marriage wasn’t all roses either, it was taking ownership of the woman and giving power to the man. It seems we pick and choose which traditions to be offended by, though. Many of the meanings that once held are no longer valid, and I doubt 99.9% of fathers in the modern western world see the walk up the aisle as anything other than a special, sentimental moment to share with their daughter.

ETA: I didn’t take offense to OP’s comment, but I could see the implication.

Post # 22
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am 23, I will be 24 when I get married.

My dad and I dont speak anymore which is sad and Im trying not to think about the fact that he wont be at my wedding. Until i remember that we are speaking for very good reasons…Doesnt stop me wishing it was different though!

Anyway, If my Grandad were alive then i would have him walking me down the aisle, as he was the closest person I had to a father figure.Sadly he is no longer with us.

So my Mum will be walking me down the aisle. She was both mother and father to me so Like PPs I feel as though its my tribute to her, its my way of saying ‘Thank You’. Im not her property to ‘give away’ but I am glad I have her blessing and Im proud that she is walking me down the aisle. Smile

Post # 23
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

View original reply
@Sunshining: Yeah I totally see how someone might be offended by OP saying she was her own person so she didnt need her parents to walk her down the aisle. Understandable!

It just seemed to me from the tone in OP’s post was friendly and made sure to include that she wasn’t knocking anyone who was choosing to have their dad/parents walk them down the aisle where as Captain013 seemed rude to me.

Thats just me though!

Post # 24
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
@natbug21: Yes, I believe it may have been a knee-jerk reaction. But I agree that the OP’s tone was very amiable and simply curious. No reason for any of us to get worked up in this thread πŸ™‚

Post # 25
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@natbug21: Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to be snarkie. L I am just trying to say I am comfortable with who I am as a person and couldn’t care less about the history of the ritual. By my dad and my giving me away, its confirmation that they are behind my decision to marry my Fiance.

I completely understand some people view this as being property, I don’t. I have made my own decisions, and couldn’t care any less about the archaic language. If I didn’t feel this way maybe I would do what you plan to do. I see where you are coming from though. I think my dad would be very hurt if I told him I was going to walk alone.

Another alternative is to have dad walk you halfway up the aisle, and then you walk ¼ alone and then meet your Fiance for the last bit. I don’t know what your relationship is with your dad though.

I do see you side of it totally, to each their own πŸ™‚

View original reply
@Sunshining: Exactly what I meant to say, thank you!

Post # 26
Member
4581 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Going traditional on this one – my daddy will be walking with me.

Post # 27
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My mom and older brother will be walking me down the aisle. I haven’t spoken to my father in over 10 years.

Post # 28
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

View original reply
@Captain013: oh good! πŸ™‚ Sometimes it is so hard to tell what people mean and their tone when you are just reading something instead of actually hearing it. I’m glad no one is trying to be snarky! Sorry if my reply seemed harsh!

Post # 30
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My dad recently passed, but we weren’t really close to begin with.  At this point, Fiance and I are thinking we’ll walk down together.  Our church actually recommended this.

Post # 31
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m undecided, but I may very well walk alone. My dad doesn’t have any attachment to walking me down, and anyway I would feel sort of like it excluded my step-dad. So unless my mom really, really wants to, I’ll probably do it myself!

Sort of like what you’re saying, I am a very independent person and though my parents have been a huge source of support in my life, there’s no particular reason that they would be involved in that part of the ceremony. I actually think my Fiance, being a little more traditionally-minded/raised, was probably the only one who assumed my dad would walk me down. And my dad, when I mentioned this to him, said something about “Aisle? What aisle, who says you have to have an aisle?!” Oh, my hippie dad. (And I’ll be 26 at the time, first wedding for me, etc.)

But I do think it might be an age thing. Though a lot of us have more or less rejected the “being given away” thing, I do feel like there’s less of a sense of “I’m my own woman, no one needs to walk down with me” for those of us in our 20s. Interesting.

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