(Closed) Twenty-somethings…who, if anyone, is walking you down the aisle?

posted 10 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 32
Member
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I was 22, just shy of 23 (by 12 days) at the wedding.  My brother walked me down the aisle.  My father and I have had a rocky relationship that’s been good on and off over the years but my brother has always been my best friend.  I am so glad I made that decision because he kept me so much calmer and more stress free than I would have been otherwise.  I let my parents say they were giving me away even though I didn’t feel I was theirs to give anymore.  I knew they were really upset about my decision to walk with my brother so it hopefully eased that feeling a little bit.  

Post # 33
Member
2159 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Kant: I am my own person and the path in life that led me to my Fiance, I walked alone, so the symbolic aisle walk should be made alone too. If anything I’ll have Fiance walk up the aisle, meet me halfway, and we’ll walk the rest of the way to the front together, but no one else will have a part in it.

That is exactly how I felt about it, and DH agreed, so that’s how we did our aisle walk. I felt the symbolism of us walking towards each other, meeting in the middle of the aisle, and continuing to the altar together was much more reflective of us than if my father had walked me down. I was 27 years old and didn’t see the point in being on anyone’s arm but DH’s.

Post # 34
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My dad will be walking me down the aisle. He raised me by himself and I feel like it will be a special time for us.

A friend of mine walked by herself though. At the time she wasn’t speaking to her father (he cheated on her mother) and he wasn’t even invited to the wedding. She chose to walk alone rather than have her older brother walk her down. She was I think 21 at the time.

Post # 35
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’ll be 26 when I get married next year, and I will most certainly be walking/dancing/strutting down the aisle by myself.  I realize that for a lot of women, having their father/mother/parents give them away is an emotional and important part of their wedding day, and even though I’m close to both sets of my parents – it’s just not for me, and not something I would feel comfortable with.

Post # 36
Member
3214 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m 31, but I’m taking the liberty to chime in here anyway. 🙂

Both my parents are going to walk me in. There will be no giving away (I find that custom incredibly retrograde), but they’ve been important figures in my life and I know it will make them both happy to be involved in the wedding.

Post # 37
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My Father walked me down the aisle when all was said and done. When this topic came up while planning…I felt split. In the end I left it up to my father. If he cared enough to do it, he could and if he didn’t; no sweat… 

My Plan B would have been a tradition that stems from my Fiance’s (now Husband) ethnic background. Which is The Groom on one side of the pew and The Bride on the other …as the ceremony begins they meet in the middle and walk down the aisle together. 

Simple.

As for me I’m 28, theres no reason why I’d want to complicate my life and my future husbands with not being flexible. Hahaha. In the end no one was alienated-divided or humiliated with that decision and it worked out great for us! 

Post # 38
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

This issue had some drama for me too. I know I’ve posted about it here before but basically, since my parents don’t get along at all and my mom was ready to throw a snit unless she could walk me down too (hello, dysfunction junction), plus the symbolism that I had a hard time getting past, I chose to do no parents. It’s little-known but the preferred entrance for Catholic couples (post Vatican II) is actually of bride and groom walking down together. So that’s what we did. It was awesome and people later said it really reflected us as a couple. Oh, I’m 27.

Post # 39
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@Kant:After reading everyone’s responses, I guess I should rephrase what I meant…I don’t think many people today see it as being “given away”, but rather as having their parents’ (or whoever’s) support and blessing…and I don’t feel the need to have that either, which seems to echo the same sentiment of the 30/40-somethings walking alone.”

I was 26 when I got married and yes had both my parents walked me down the aisle.  But i didn’t view it as having their support and blessing either.  It was just more a walk in so everyone knows these are the brides parents, since my inlaws got their own walk in. 

i don’t think its really an age thing, it just all comes down to preference and what the walk-in signifies to each person. 

Post # 40
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I had my Dad walk me down the aisle.  I chose to do this because I love my father and wanted to honor him with this tradition.  For me I chose to look past where the tradition started (ownership of the bride) and instead valued it for my own purposes;  honoring someone I love with something I knew would mean a lot to him.

I definitely understand why people choose to omit this for ethical or other reasons,  but it didn’t seem like a big deal to me.  I was 27 at the time and consider myself fairly liberal.

Post # 41
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I will be 27 at the wedding, and I am walking the aisle alone. My father left when I was 16, and after years of trying to be a part of his life, I gave up about 4 years ago. We’re having an outdoor ceremony and I’m having my 22 year-old brother walk me right up to the end of the aisle so that I’ve got someone to walk with for the long part (pacing, keeping me from crying, etc.), and then I’m walking the aisle alone. It works for me. I was adamant about not having anyone walk me, but after going to the site numerous times, it’s just too far of a walk to not have someone there with me. Plus I love my brother, and this is a good way to spend time with him before the ceremony.

My sister had her Future Father-In-Law walk her down the aisle a few years ago and it caused a huge dramafest with my mother, who claimed that my brother should have been the one, not someone else’s dad…but my sister said her Future Father-In-Law was more of a father to her than anyone, so that was that.

Post # 42
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

totally agree with @sunshining … don’t see it as being ‘given away’ but also know i wouldn’t be who i am or where i am today without my mom and dad. i am 24 and my dad will be walking me down the isle in october.

Post # 43
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m 22, will be 23 when I get married and I’ll be walking down the aisle (albeit a very short one!) alone! This has caused a LOT of problems with my family as they all seem to have an opinion about it! My dad and I are not close, we don’t see each other often and I feel as if I barely know him. My mums husband however has been more of a father in the last 10 years than my own and I feel he deserves the honour. But even though I’m not close to my real dad I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings and so I’ve decided to go it alone.

Gotta love dysfunctional families!

Post # 44
Member
6414 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have a friend walking me down the aisle. I’ve always joked and called him dad (even though he’s 3 years younger than me) we even said for years he’d walk me down the aisle… naturally when the time came that my SO and I got engaged he was one of the 1st people I called and he asked if he was still able to walk me down the aisle like we had talked about. I of course agreed and he’s as excited as I am for the big day! hehe

Also on a side note my friend is very father-like and has always looked out for me and I’ve never met my actual father.

Post # 45
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am 24 (will be 25 at the wedding) and am planning to have both of my parents walk me down the aisle. I don’t agree with the “giving away” idea, but I do think of it is the perfect way for them to show their support for my marriage and future.

Post # 46
Member
1515 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’ll be 24.  My father has never been in my life so therefore he will not be walking me down the aisle.  My grandfather has been a father figure, but I haven’t decided if it’s him or my brothers walking me down.  

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