Twins – Help!!!

posted 1 week ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
Member
6599 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh my gosh, twins run in both sides of my family (9 sets total!!!!) and one of my husbands best friends is a Ftwin. Back when I was considering kids (not anymore), it was brought up as a real possibility that I’d be highly to have twins. I kind of liked the idea of getting it over with quickly haha. But of course, buying double everything is an up front cost, but eventually it’s just like having 3 regularly spaced out kids (cost wise). 

There is a very real possibility of your eldest feeling left out. In my family, the eldest seems ok, but its worse when theres a younger (ie 2 older twins, 1 younger sib). Both of the younger will likely look up/idolize the eldest and she will likely get her pick of which kid to play with (or pick on the other lol). 

Congrats bee! Such an exciting time! 

Post # 17
Member
396 posts
Helper bee

Been following you from the IF boards and have no advice, just wanted to share I’m so excited for you! 

Post # 18
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

mama2bee71 :  a close friend of mine (female) had younger twin sisters and they just followed her around like shadows. They adore her and vice versa. 

Post # 19
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

Congratulations! I’m 25.5 weeks pregnant with twin boys, and we already have a 20 month old, so I feel your anxiety 🙂 Since they aren’t born yet, I can’t give you much advice other than to say I’ve found the pregnancy harder, and all the annoying comments people make to pregnant women are worse when they know you are having twins. 

I actually had someone at work say to me, “you’re living my worst nightmare!” Thanks, ass. 

So, solidarity mama!

Post # 20
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Hi bee! Congrats! And it’s also okay if it doesn’t feel like “great” news immediately! I know for many people it can feel overwhelming. 

I wasn’t going to comment this but you asked another PP about the sibling feeling left out and I wanted to say that can be an issue, especially because people tend to make a fuss over twins. In our family the issue was not amongst the siblings, but rather that people on the street/in shopping malls would stop my mom and make a fuss over us twins – and they would sort off (accidentally) ignore my older sister. It was definitely damaging to her. My parents did what they could to manage it/explain it to her, and make sure she was given equal attention and praise in the family. It’s nice that you’re aware of it! Don’t worry too much, you’ll be able to figure it out as you go! xx

Post # 21
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee

jellybellynelly :  Factoid: only fraternal twins on YOUR side can influence you also having twins! So you can maybe disregard some of the sets?? lol.

Post # 22
Hostess
8531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

No advice bee but congratulations! 

Post # 23
Member
2019 posts
Buzzing bee

Check our Jamie’s journey on Instagram and YouTube. She’s a mom of a 4 year old and twin girls who also did IVF. I bet she’d have a lot of content you would find helpful! 

Post # 24
Member
6319 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

mama2bee71 :  I was going to recommend talking to @littlebuzz, but I know you’ve already touch based.  She’s one of my best friends in my first birth group, and insanely real about the reality of twins.  You’re definitely talking to the right person.

I know the word “Congratulations” probably isn’t the exact thing you want to hear right now.  You will get through this.  I’m thinking of you right now and sending all the supportive hugs!

Post # 25
Member
6599 posts
Bee Keeper

littlebuzz :  7 are fraternal, 2 identical. All are on “my” side, as I stated lol – and that’s just back to my grandmother. I had many discussions with my doctor about the possibility and did the math a while back. It definitely freaked me out a bit lol

Post # 26
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee

jellybellynelly :  ah, sorry, when you said ‘both sides’ I read. Only back to your grandmother?? Where do they all come from ??? lol.

Post # 27
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

mama2bee71 :  First off Congratulations!  We have an almost 4 year old boy and twins that are 18 months, boy and girl.  It can feel very overwhelming at first when you get the news.  My biggest piece of advice is start them on the same schedule from day one.  That means feeding them at the same time, naps at the same time, diaper changes at the same time.  It will often mean waking one twin up from a nap when they are new borns but as the weeks pass it will make your life much easier.

As well, if you intend on breastfeeding don’t give up!  It can be so challenging at first, especially with having to produce enough milk to sustain two babies.  For almost 2 weeks straight my schedule with my twins 24/7 involved feeding them every 2-3 hours and pumping in between to build my supply.  It would be wake, diaper change, nurse for 40-50 minutes, put the twins down for a nap, pump for 20 minutes and start the process all over again, it was exhausting but after two weeks I had more than enough of a supply and ended up nursing my twins for a year.  Tandum nursing is a lifesaver, make sure to get yourself a proper twin nursing pillow, it makes a world of difference.  

I should add our oldest had a lot of jealously especially around wanting me, even though my husband would do everything with him, take him everywhere he went.  I made it a point to keep his bedtime routine a thing him and I did everynight.  I made it our special thing so he knew that every night he got to spend time with just mommy and not the babies.  It was challenging but I would time his bedtime around making sure I had just finished nursing, would had the twins off to my husband and than would spend the next 45 minutes to an hour with my oldest.

Post # 28
Member
6599 posts
Bee Keeper

littlebuzz :  Both sides like on my mom side and dads side. My grandma is a twin, she had 2 sets of twins. Both of 1 set had their own twins, and now 1 of them has their own twins. She had 4 other kids (non twins, 8 kids total), and 2 of them went on to have twins. Then on my dads side, he has identical twin brothers. I think that’s all of them lol. I think there is more to come, as many of the kids are still younger, and haven’t started their own families yet. I haven’t looked in depth higher than my grandma, but they were farmers and all had BIG families, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there is more! 

Post # 29
Member
1217 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

mama2bee71 :  Congrats! I am a fraternal twin and I love being a twin so much!

No advice from a parent’s perspective, but from a twins’ perspected I wanted to say–treat them as individuals. The people I have met who were unhappiest about being twins I have met were ones who felt like they weren’t encouraged to express their individuality, this seems to be especially true for identical twins in my experience.

Post # 30
Member
765 posts
Busy bee

Oh gosh. No advice but congrats! I know Reddit has a pretty active parents of multiples group. Twins are so scary for me, mostly because of daycare costs but also so fun! 3 girls will be perfect (eventually too) 

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