(Closed) TWINS?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011 - The Providence Biltmore

I’m sorry you are feeling overwhelmed right now.  I’m having a tough time finding the right words to say to comfort you.  Just know that I’m thinking about you and hoping the best. 

Post # 4
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh hon. I’m so sorry you’re feeling so scared and overwhelmed.  Remember that depending on how far along you are, you do have options.  You do not have to carry this pregnancy to term. If you do decide to have the babies, I know you two will find a way.

Post # 5
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@mightywombat: Totally agree. You still have options OP, talk to your Fiance and find out what is best for you guys ((HUGS))

Post # 6
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I agree with the PPs, and would add that you should definitely talk to your fiance soon, let the shock wear off, and discuss your options as frankly and honestly as possible.  If both of you feel unequiped to cope, then there are options available.  I think rational decision making is key here – try not to let your emotions, especially your terrified, hopeless emotions, rule you when you consider how to proceed.  

Post # 7
Member
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

So sorry you and your Fiance have hit this unexpected speed bump 🙁 Finding out about one unexpected baby is distressing enough, I’m sure two is even scarier. Like other posters have said, you still have options and I’m sure you’ll make the best decision for you and your family. 

A friend of mine has two children, a boy(6) and a girl(3), and unexpectedly became pregnant with twins. She and her Darling Husband were on the fence about possibly wanting another baby and then bam, a double order. They are now excited and are finding a way to squeeze two more babes into their lives but not everyone can. I don’t know what your situation is but I know that sometimes, adding to your family is not always in the best interest of your fam, especially the kids you already have. Only you and your Darling Husband can make the right decision for you and whatever you decide no one will judge you. 

Post # 8
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am sorry you are scared, and overwhelmed. I hope with some time that you are able to find some solutions to this.

Post # 10
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MsTwins: Please, go get counseling at a reputable place (i.e., not a “crisis pregnancy center;” those places generally don’t discuss your options honestly because their goal is to prevent you from terminating no matter what).  You can get a referral through your doc. If you can’t afford it, Planned Parenthood has great counseling for these situations – and contrary to popular belief, they do NOT encourage you to get an abortion.  One of my friends had an unplanned pregnancy a few years ago and got great support there, and ultimately decide to continue the pregnancy.

Post # 11
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I am sorry, I can understand how this can be super stressful for you. I really love twins and hope to eventually have some (if this could ever be ordered). Best of luck as you and Fiance make the decision that is right for your family.

Post # 12
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

PM’ed you. 

Post # 13
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Depending on how far along you are and whether the doctor said both look healthy & viable, you could end up with a vanishing twin scenario & carry only 1 past the 1st trimester. That said, it’s a lot to hang your hopes on if you can’t handle 2 babies right now. I hope you and your husband are able to figure out what’s best for you and your family right now. 

Post # 14
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You will make it work! You got pregnant for a reason, you are meant to bring these precious babies into this world for some reason. There is alway a way to make it all work out.

Post # 15
Member
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I second Planned Parenthood counselors @mightywombat‘s suggestion, I’ve had friends see them when they were in difficult positions and found them to be very helpful. You still have plenty of time to make a decision so I’d take a few days for you and your Fiance to calm down and then set up a meeting with a counselor. 

ETA: Don’t let anyone pressure you, here or any other place. Both my friends were pressured by multiple people to either keep or terminate their pregnancies and it was really hurtful and not helpful. Only you and your Fiance can make a decision that’s right for you, if you terminate then it’s the right decision for your family, if you carry the pregnancy then you’ll make it work. 

Post # 16
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MsTwins:  First of all, take a couple days and let it sink in.  I’m 35 weeks with twins right now.  My husband and I found out I was carrying twins at our 12 week ultrasound.  Even though we had been TTC, it was a total and complete shock.  He and I were zombies for days.  I cried a lot, too, and worried more than you can imagine.  We were emotionally and financially prepared for one baby, but finding out it was two sent me nearly over the edge.

But you know what?  23 weeks after finding out, I am beyond thrilled.  We feel like the luckiest people alive to be having two babies.  Is it going to be financially difficult?  You bet it will.  Will we get any sleep for the next year?  Probably not.  But I’m already so in love with my two little guys, I couldn’t imagine only having one baby at this point.

PM me if you want to talk more.  I just wanted to let you know that I have been exactly where you are.  It gets better!

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