Post # 1
OK- 5 days to go until I am MARRIED! My side is completely Out of Town, and some people are going to start arriving today ( actually within the next 4 hours!)
So- here is the very loose rundown—people start arriving Monday- Friday of this week. My Fiance, Mom, Future Mother-In-Law and sister are fielding airport pick-up duty and coordinating who needs to be where and when.
My bachelorette party was three weekends ago, and FI’s was two weekends ago, and we both had a BLAST ( I did a mini recap if anyone remembers). We did our separate thing with the loose plan that once everyone is in town the bridal party will go out after the RD… However; a couple of the groomsmen have gotten together and decided that they want to have a second bachelor party basically the night before the wedding.
Fiance is actually kind of on board with this right now. I asked him if the plans for everyone to go out afterwards was being nixed or if it is just another guys night and he said probably just the guys! Now I am all bummed because I won’t see him much this week at all… or Friday or Saturday since we are not doing a first look or staying together the night before.
My mom says to let it go—in the grand scheme of things that this is not a big deal and it will cause more stress than anything else. I am on the fence right now, part of me wants to put my foot down and say that he already had a kick ass bachelor party… but part of me just doesn’t care at this point and will go out with my girls, go back to the hotel and call it a night.
Thoughts? Someone tell me I am overreacting and that I need to just chill the F out before I ruin everyone’s mood!
EDITED to add: by ” going out” I mean just hitting the bar scene once again with the guys– not stripping it up or going out of town, just keeping it local!
Post # 3
Wouldn’t work for me. They can have as many boys nights before the wedding weekend as they like (and after, for that matter), just not the weekend of the wedding. Besides, I’m really looking forward to going out with everyone and having a few drinks after the Rehearsal Dinner and I would hate to have that ruined by an impromptu bachelor party, especially if he’s already had one.
Gotta get your Fiance on board with you though.
Post # 4
Ok… you’re overreacting and you need to just chill the F out before you ruin everyone’s mood. Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with him wanting to see his guy pals. It’s been nonstop wedding-wedding-wedding for months, and he’s been dragged to see and do all sorts of “girly” things (fill up the registry, have photos taken, go look at flowers…. stuff like that). Let him have a guy’s night with his out-of-town guy pals. Maybe you and the girls should go have drinks too instead of just “going back to the hotel and calling it a night.”
Post # 5
I think you should go out ith the girls. Most likely you will need to be up earlier in the morning to get ready; whereas the guys can stay out a bit more. It’s a good chance to hang out with the girls and maybe you can all go out for coffee and dessert. I would definitely leave it!
Post # 6
@sportsgal31: yes I was holding off on talking with him about it just so it didn’t come off as me nagging haha
@fishbone: I do plan on going out with the girls— I don’t want to rush home and go to sleep at 9pm haha! The plan was for everyone to go out since some of the girls husbands will be traveling with them and probably do not want to sit through a ” girls night” when the thought all along was to do a joint thing
@kerensa: yes I am def looking forward to girl time– just trying to figure out how to incorporate everything and everyone!
Post # 7
I’d say something. 1. He’s kind of being a bad host by going off with his boys. He should be attempting to say hi to/hang out with all the people who flew in to celebrate with him. 2. No one looks cute hungover.
I’m not saying don’t go out for a few drinks with everybody but one bachelor party is plenty.
Post # 8
@fishbone: I wouldn’t go as far as that, but fishbone does have a point here. Unless you’ve got a groundbreakingly progressive gender-equality wedding, then he’s likely been occupying his time with girly thing after girly thing. A 2nd night out with the boys, by comparison, is small potatoes to what you’ll probably get as a bride. I’d let him have it.
That said, if you think he’s going to booze it up and wake up hungover, then you clearly have a valid cause for concern.
Post # 9
My Darling Husband went out with all the guys the night before our wedding and it sucked. I wish I had stood up for myself and said I was not okay with it! The groomsmen ended up being hung over and miserable through pictures and stuff. And honestly Darling Husband wasn’t doing so hot either. Plus, it would have been much better to get to spend time all together the night before the wedding since really they were mutual friends and I was full of nerves finishing up last minute things! To each her own though– but it is fine (and you’re not overreacting) if it does bother you and you should speak up 🙂
Post # 10
He had a bachelor party already and had fun, you were on board. A second is really a bit pointless and the night bere the wedding is asking for a hangover in the morning and problems. If he wanted to have dinner with them or go golfing or gaming instead though, I’d say support it.
Post # 11
Lol…yeah a hangover does not look good on anyone! I am not saying that they cant go out…I was just under the impression that it would be a group/ chill thing!
Post # 12
I found out after our wedding was over that my father-in-law, along with our best man, took my husband golfing the morning of the wedding. I didn’t really have a problem with it when I found out. But I would have had a problem with him going out and drinking the night before the wedding. So I guess it depends whether it’s going to just be a few drinks, or more?
Post # 13
It was kind of left open like…” it can get as crazy/ chill as the groom wants”. I have no problem with golfing, hanging out, etc… the only issue I have is friends/family driving and flying in to celebrate with US and getting stuck with just me lol. Most of our friends are bar hoppers, so I figured a group round of beer/ pool game may be a good way to relax and get to know before the craziness of the wedding day ensues.
Post # 14
So I sent Fiance an email asking him if he thought these guys would mind doing something joint– and he said he would see, but he did not want to be pulled in 100 different directions the night before the wedding. Hmmmm…well it didnt really answer my question so I guess I will just drop it & let them do their thang and we can do ours since apparently thats what everyone seems OK with!
Post # 15
Fiance and I rarely do anything apart. My shower was this weekend and as I was getting ready he asked me, “so…what do I do while you’re there?” I told him to just hang out with the dogs and I’d text him when he could come. He started texting 1 1/2 hours later, he was so bored.
So, needless to say, we’re not doing any separate parties at all. For our bachelor/bachlorette parties we’re doing a joint bar night. Maybe this could work for you guys the night before the wedding? We sent out a FB invite to our friends and asked them to meet us at a specific bar from 7pm onward. Come have a drink, relax, etc. It’s low key and didn’t require a lot of planning but it’s concrete enough that you don’t have to worry about trying to figure out where to go after the rehearsal. Everyone knows the plan. You’ll also be together which is great but that doesn’t mean you can’t socialize with your friends while he socializes with his. AND you can keep an eye on any potentially unruly groomsmen because what PP said is true. No one looks good hungover.
Post # 16
Yeah we arent really big into going out without the other and we both did already have our separate bachelor/ette parties. I brought it up and he didnt seem to get the hint so I guess it is what it is & no biggie! I just want everyone to have fun!